capeandcowllogs | (no subject)

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WHO: TORTURE VICTIMS, and OPEN to visitors and idk anyone else who might have a reason to be around
WHERE: the import clinic
WHEN: TAG IN AND SET YOUR OWN \o/
WARNINGS: Possibly
SUMMARY: Communal visitation log for torture victims.
FORMAT: Words

[ The clinic’s full today due to the recent influx, and probably swarming with activity from all quarters. The victims are spread out - or in some cases close together - so try to can the outbursts during quiet hours. ]

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[ not a moment after sending her last text, the wall of carrie's room gives way to somewhere else entirely, and kanaya steps out before closing the portal behind her

she takes one look at carrie and her eyes bulge and her glows waxes brightly ]

Oh dear! You certainly hadn't mentioned the circumstances were so dire!

[ Carrie has, at least, had everything taken care of by this point. The stitched-up arm and leg are properly bound, the missing toes staunched and wrapped. No one had been able to do anything about her sight, but that seems almost like the least of her worries right now. Almost.

She instinctively glances down from her dazed stare at the ceiling at the sound of a voice, even if it does no good. And then it registers, a few seconds more slowly than it should have, and she wilts a little. ]

Meant to text Tav. [ Just a mumble, low and unhappy, because the brain-to-mouth finger is far weaker just now than the brain-to-fingers. ]

[ she heard it, of course, but without context she wasn't quite ready to leap to append "instead of you" at the end. somewhere in the back of her head was a prickling fear that wanted to however.

she tried to disregard it for the moment. ]

Have you yet to reach him, then? Should he require transportation, I could attempt to supply it. [ she makes some vague motion toward the door that she didn't enter from, suggesting that she could just leave, easy out and no one gets hurt (well, no one that isn't her, at least). ]

I got him. I think.

[ She slides the communicator out of its mid-pillow hiding place (even delirious, she's ready to be wary that staff might try to take it away), debates sliding it open to hunt through recent messages for proof, and ends up half-heartedly dropping the thing back to the bed instead. ]

I'll let 'im know the Vampire Express made an offer.

[ kanaya drops her hands back down to her side. so she hadn't been sent away, what does that even mean? ]

Right. Um, to what cause can we attribute your injuries?

Is the condition severe?

No, and-- [ A sigh, and both hands rise to scrub her face. She really misses the mask. ] I dunno. Drugged. S'not wearing off real fast.

[ it's when she brings her hands up that kanaya even registers the mask's absence. she averts her eyes, feeling like she's looking at something she isn't

but that's stupid isn't it? why should she let redbird decide where she glances? and so she turns back and looks directly at her face, almost out of spite. she still isn't sure whether to be angry whether she was attacked, or that she wasn't the one responsible, and even thinking about it makes her comfortable ]

What brought about these circumstances?

[ That just gets another shake of her head, tired and miserable. ]

Told you I'd be awful company. [ a beat. ] ...Didn't I?

[ she hardly even remembers the original texts, much less what had been in them. ]

Yes, well, I may have ignored that warning deliberately. [ because maybe she takes that fact for granted.

she finally moves to sit down, tucking her legs off to the side and folding her hands in her lap ]

Given the circumstances, I felt it may be appropriate for you to be granted some company, no matter how undesirable the individual example I was capable of granting may be.

Edited 2012-02-25 09:02 (UTC)

Oh.

[ It takes her longer than usual to work through the maze of Kanaya's general mode of speech, and her mind wanders at least three different times. But eventually: ] Thanks.

[ kanaya purses her lips tightly and glances sidelong at the wall ] It isn't an action deserving of any ostentatious expression of gratitude. The mention is wholly unnecessary.

[ no, really, don't mention it. she feels goofy enough just being here ]

Okay.

[ yeah she absorbed almost none of that. her mind is hazing over again, and she's pretty sure she ought to take out Table and Terror, because they've probably been stuck in the apartment for way too long by now. but then maybe Jason will remember to. if not him, definitely Tavros.

with pretty much no idea that she's even started talking, much less of what she's saying: ] I don't wanna hate you.

[ kanaya makes no move to react to this, but with the color draining from her face and the way her glow flickers and waxes, there's little need to wonder what she's thinking.

it's not like she hadn't already suspected this herself, it was her major motivation in doing her best not to bother redbird over the matter. she hadn't just described herself as "undesirable" a few moments ago on accident.

but this whole thing was stupid. it wasn't like redbird knew how she felt, or even what a kismesis was at all about, she was taking this whole thing far too personally. don't overplay your hand, kanaya. ]

A-and why should you be expected to?

Cuz trolls.

[ The answer is enough to snap her back into the conversation, miserable as it is. She's suddenly way too tired for dancing around this ridiculous subject anymore. ]

Look, it's — I don't wanna hate anyone, if I can pull it off. 'Cept the Joker. I'll hate him no sweat, but you're so not Joker-material. 'N I know you trolls got some kinda good hate going on, I figure, only I'm not a troll.

[ She sighs, all but curling up into herself. ]

Sorry.

I...I know. A-and I never particularly expect you to, either.

[ she brightens further as the conversation goes on. she doesn't even know why they're discussing this, there's no way redbird could possibly know. the only person she even mentioned it to was terezi in a fit of panic.

why couldn't this discussion just...not happen? she'd much prefer to have to bury her feelings and hate herself over them than to have all her reasons for doing so verified ]

[ She's pretty sure she should be doing something here. What do you usually do after you let someone down? Well, for one, you cringe and maybe sulk around and start brooding more often, but besides that? …Oh, that's right. Her mom did it sometimes when she'd forgotten to show up at some event, or forgotten to pick Carrie up after school, or spent her birthday money, or…

She leans forward, reaching for the sound of Kanaya's voice. Any grip on her will do, as long as she can use it to pull her into a hug. ]

Figure you are pretty annoying, though, if that's anything.

[ she doesn't know what to say to that. this whole encounter has gone quite beyond her ability to comprehend, and having carrie paw at her knee before grabbing her wrist and pulling her into an embrace doesn't help

she's glowing uncontrollably at this point, nose full of the hospital smells carrie's emitting, heart full of disappointment, and a head that hasn't quite caught up with any of this just yet ]

I...suppose I'll accept that fact as consolation, then.

Okay.

[ She's smiling, just a little, because hey. At least she got her piece off her chest. And maybe Kanaya will stop hating her now? Because that's pretty uncomfortable, having someone hate you. She holds the hug for just a few seconds more before letting go and flopping back into the pillows. ]

'M gonna call training off next week. Sorry.

[ of course she would. it probably not like she even wants anything to do with her, anyway. god can this hug just end already so she can go die in piece?

the moment it does, she shrinks back into her chair, flickering wildly and wishing she could just disappear (well, actually, she can, but this wouldn't be the appropriate moment for it, exactly) ]

I imagine you'll be preoccupied with your recovery.

We could...simply cease the entirety of the correspondence involved in the sessions, if you'd prefer.

[ since she obviously must want nothing to do with her anyway, right? ]

Nah.

[ Oops, zoning out again. Both hands lift to drop over her face, and she talks up to the ceiling. ]

All that correspondence involved in sessions is okay. Let's keep doing that.

[ she peeks out of her cocoon of shame and embarrassment uncertainly. she felt a little guilty about it, since part of the purpose in sparring was to exercise her feelings in a way that would be unobtrusive to redbird ]

...I-if you're certain.

Totally certain, yep. [ There's not much of a pause, and she adds: ] Figure I'm gonna pass out about now, if that's okay.

[ she rises from her chair a little too quickly, then awkwardly lingers a moment ]

Well, if you'll be in good condition otherwise, I can show myself out.

[ Apparently that "if that's okay" was just for show--or maybe for warning-- because she's pretty much already out of it, and not looking likely to answer. Or move. Kanaya's welcome to show herself out after all! ]

Uh...

[ after a minute of receiving no response, kanaya wanders her way out of the room, waiting till she gets out of the building before reeling in a new portal home ]

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sunday morning

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i want to just touch all that elleart

ikr i am so happy with them

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