capeandcowllogs | Where your eyes don't go a part of you is hovering

Where your eyes don't go a part of you is hovering

WHO: Everyone who's signed up for the Shadow Märchen plot and the people who get involved with them.
WHERE: All over the City.
WHEN: February 1st through February 9th. Specify the dates when you tag in.
WARNINGS: Probably a lot, since this is a festival of dark sides.
SUMMARY: The City plays host to a twisted theater of the mind as numerous imPorts become darkened, monstrous versions of themselves.
FORMAT: To be chosen by the thread-starters.

The start of a new month shouldn't mean anything special for the City--but this time, it does. Even if it's only because of an accident.

The pull of despair within each victim might come from nowhere, or it might seem like the most natural extension in the world of their current circumstances. However it manifests, the results come quickly: one living shadow all too eager to broadcast its nature far and wide, attached to a monstrous witch that warps the world around it in order to feel at home.

Where once there was an ordinary building, there now might lurk the entrance to a distorted dimension controlled by one of those witches. Where once there was a friend, there's probably now a monster. Can't find the friend that's become this monster? Don't worry too much about missing the chance--the familiars of their witch roam the streets looking for those who can be dragged into the labyrinth.

But take heart: what's within is still the same familiar person...in its own way.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ the shadow had given enough of a hint to where kanaya needed to be. she didn't know how to get in, but the sigil seemed to give way at her touch. it took some wandering through the barrier before it really settled in and she understood what she was looking at. when someone's soul is laid out before you as a place, it's hard to feel as if you aren't intruding. she dared not touch anything, for fear it may hurt him. as far as she knew this place could have been an actual extension of karkat's self.

she finally reached the center, and there was karkinos, raging at his mirrors. she held back a ways, watching him for a while, processing whatever this was that she was really seeing. the legs felt like a punch to the gut. this was really him, this is what he's become, and the only thought that went through her mind is karkat, what have i done to you?

this is where she's meant to be. this is what she came here to do. she didn't want to die in the least, but if he turned from the mirrors and directed his wrath at her instead, she doesn't know what she'll do. she couldn't possibly hurt him, she wouldn't dream of it, especially after all the damage she's already caused. if he killed her, on the other hand, it would be well within his rights.

she steps forward, closer, but trying not to break within his center of attention exactly, and sits down on the ground with her purse in her lap. she's getting blood on her skirt and she doesn't care, her dignity hasn't gotten her anywhere here, and right now its sacrifice is something he's earned.

she isn't here for dignity. she's here to pay a penance. ]

I'm sorry. I can never be sorry enough. ...You always deserved better than I could give.

[[ ooc: if you want to tag her throughout her time here, you can assume she's probably somewhere not far from the labyrinth, in pretty much the same position. figure if she's here for two days straight she might move occasionally. ]]

[ Julian had come here to see Karkat after his insane, mutant-hating video, but it's not long before he realizes he's bitten off more than he'd expected.

There's blood and mirrors anyway. What should have been a house has become a labyrinth, and in every mirror he sees himself with every scar opened as a fresh wound, and with his hands missing all over again.

It's seriously fucking insane, and he's starting to understand why Karkat had been so keen to say he was a freak of nature. This kind of setting would mess anyone up.

Because of that, when he first sees Kanaya, he's not even sure it's really her. It could be just another trick of Karkat's apparently seriously warped psyche. He stops beside her. ]

Kanaya? Are you for real, or are you one of crab boy's little monster things?

[ kanaya is leaning against a wall, her skirt filthy and caked in red, her attention caught by one of the mirrors. she has a hand pressed against her cheek, prodding and testing at it as if she was expecting it to go all the way through. the fingers of her right hand fidget to remind here that they're still there. she's seen this image before, but it wasn't a trick then. a reminder of venezuela is the last thing she wants right now.

julian's voice snatches her out of the reverie, wakes her back to her surrounding. don't give in to it, she thinks to herself. she knows that line of thought only goes bad places. ]

It could be both. [ she turns to look at him and blinks twice as she realizes who it is, leading her eyes to narrow. ] But I'm as much me as I've ever been.

Why are you here? [ it's almost said like an accusation, like she was hoping he might be someone else. who, she couldn't really say. ]

[ Thank God for that, for a moment there he'd thought she was going crazy. Now she looks like he's the last person she wants to see, which is just about right.

He glances behind her, to the mirror, and quickly looks away again. That thing brings a bad trip with it. Julian's pretty good at ignoring personal problems and hoping they'll go away. That's standing him in good stead now. ]

Don't look at it. [ He nods irritably to the space behind her. ] It's not real, it's just another part of his twisted little head.

I'm here to call him out on the bullshit he's been talking. [ Now he looks at her. ] Why are you here? He was pretty clear on not wanting to see you.

It was real once. [ she says it as a matter of fact, like something not up for debate, then turns away from it to face him. ]

He said quite a bit, yes, and I deserved every unkind word of it. But that's exactly why I have to be here. I've done a poor job of being there when he needed me, and...well. [ she spreads her arms to indicate the labyrinth around them. if there's ever a time she needed to support him, this is it. ] I'm...trying to be a better friend.

[ her lip curls. ] But I'm afraid you won't find him in much of a talkative mood.

[ He stares at her. She definitely doesn't seem like herself, which means there's two trolls here on the brink of some kind of emotional meltdown.

Well, okay, Karkat is straight up in breakdown mode by this point. He's already fallen over whatever edge he was dangling on. Kanaya seems to not be taking it well, though. Julian takes the best possible method of making her feel better, and rolls his eyes. ]

Are you kidding me with this? That's fucking typical, Kanaya. He shits his emotional baggage all over everywhere, and the first thing you do is show up here to make it all about you! I don't even know why I'm surprised.

This isn't about you. You don't have to police his emotional trauma, that's his business. He thinks he's some freak because he's a mutant. It's about time he saw another side to that.

[ she hangs her head in something between frustration and despair, but it's definitely the former that brings her to spread her hands next to it. ]

I know it isn't about me! And I'm not attempting to make it so, either. I'm not policing anything, I just...I just want to help, but I don't know that he wants to be helped, but I have to try anyway. I can't abandon him now.

[ she looks back up at him, and she just looks tired. she isn't wearing any makeup, which is a big thing on its own, but without it the bags under her eyes look so much more pronounced, and that she hasn't slept in at least two days doesn't help. her lips are thinner unpainted, though still just as black, and drawn in a wide line at him. ]

But how is your coming here any different from what you just accused me of? You're, what, upset at his use of a term common to you and yours, despite it having so much different connotations? You want to parade that around him and hope he sees the error of his ways? What do you honestly expect to achieve here, Julian?

He hates himself because he's different. I'm not gonna ignore that, because it's bullshit, Kanaya. I don't care how much the world you came from drummed that into him, it doesn't matter. If he didn't think like that, none of this would be happening.

[ He glares at her, raising his chin. She looks like something's been drained out of her. Is that all because of Karkat? He's not sure. It's hard to tell, and he doesn't know Kanaya well enough for that. He's never really tried to know her.

But even with that, he knows it's weird for her to look like this. ]

If you want to help him, you should be stopping him from believing this crap.

Do you really think I haven't tried?

[ she slumps back against the wall. she hadn't come here for an argument, she never wanted one. she just wants karkat to be okay, somehow, really and genuinely. he wouldn't even have to tell her. he could cut her out of his life entirely if that's what it would take, and as much as that would hurt, it would be worth it if it helped. if it's what he needed. whatever pain she'd have to endure she was prepared to face, as long as he'd be okay.

but she also just wanted to hold him in her arms right now. she wanted to cry. she wanted to rest. but she knew those were selfish impulses, that there was too much to be done to give in. ]

This isn't the sort of thing one can simply talk another out of! You can contradict and encourage otherwise to your heart's extent, and I've tried, but none of it will matter until he starts to believe it himself. And by the time that occurs, [ she sets her jaw and closes her eyes tightly to keep anything from leaking past them, not in front of julian. he doesn't get to see her like this. ] one thoughtless remark could have already undone any good that might have contributed.

I hardly think bullying him into it will be any more effective.

Edited 2013-02-10 21:36 (UTC)

[ He stares at her. She has her eyes closed, and if he didn't know better he would think she was trying not to cry. He's never seen her look so flat, or so sad, or so...

Defeated. That seems like the right word. It was like this whole thing had taken a toll on her. Julian is angry because of what Karkat said, angry about his whole attitude. Beyond that, there's a part of him that wants to make that attitude different, because it seems so wrong to him that a mutant would hate themselves like this.

He's known so many that hated themselves. So many that hated themselves more than the humans ever did, and he doesn't want anyone else to do that. He doesn't want Karkat to do that.

But Kanaya, she seems different. Whatever she's feeling, it seems so much deeper. More personal.

I'm gonna make him understand. Mutants are as weak as they let themselves be, and I don't care if he's from a different world. I never cared about that, I care that he's freaking the fuck out because of what he is and that's wrong.

But if you think that's impossible? Then what the hell are you here for, Kanaya? If you think there's no getting through to him, if you think it won't work.

What is it you want?

[ what does she want? she wants him to not be like this, but how to do that isn't a goal she knows how to achieve anymore. it's a silly question, and she ends up bristling at it, moving back to her feet and hunching her shoulders. ]

Do you think I can really just leave him here alone when he's like this? That I can just ignore it? I'm here because I'm waiting for a sign, something that will show me that he's in there, that he can hear me! [ she's here to show him how much he means to her, but she can't really find the words to put that sentence together. ]

I'm here to keep people like you from breaking everything as they stumble across... [ she waves a hand vaguely around the surrounding area. ] ...everything he is.

[ He doesn’t think that’s an answer. At least, it’s not one that satisfies him. She’s here because she’s waiting for a sign?

Predictably, while she’s flaring at that last point, he’s getting annoyed all over again. ]

I didn’t do this, Kanaya! I didn’t break him, and neither did anyone else. He did this to himself. All of this is how he sees the world. Covered in blood and full of mirrors that see the worst in everyone. That’s his head. No fucking wonder he hates himself.

Have you seen how you feature on Planet Karkat? You and all your friends, you’re here. You’re like tiny little demons. They were following me through this place, they’re vicious little monsters. That’s how he sees his friends.

So given that, do you really think you’re getting through to him? Because why, because you love him?

[ she quietly seethes at that last comment, thrown at her like an accusation. ] He's important. I'm responsible for him. And they aren't vicious, they're just territorial against trespassers.

I never said you did all this, but you could certainly make it worse. Have you listened to yourself, what you're so insistent on getting from him? You don't care about him or the fact that he's in this state, you only came to retaliate for a perceived slight.

Don't you think he punishes himself enough that he doesn't need you adding to it? You're practically leading him on!

Feb 7-9 (and open i guess)

On the 8th, wandering aorund the labyrinth?? If that's not ok I'm happy to change!

it's totally cool!

<3

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