"You've got it. Stand back! You are about to witness the power of superior science unleashed!"

Calvin injects the moment with as much drama as he can, waving his free arm while pointing the ray at the holo-emitter. He's better suited to showbiz than scientific research, but he doesn't seem to care.

He pulls the trigger. It clicks. Nothing happens. Calvin frowns and peers at the 'shrink ray', thunking the plastic with his palm a couple times as though it were an uncooperative engine.

"Hmmmm, that's strange. We could be witnessing an over-sensitivity problem in the ray's Cootie Compensator, reacting to your proximity. Try standing further away, will you?"

He is totally going to get smacked if he keeps this up.