[complete]

[goddamnrobin.livejournal.com]

WHO: Dick and Tim
WHERE: Roofs.
WHEN: September 22nd late evening before this post yeah there is no timeline.
WHAT: Dick was supposed to bother Tim about leaving the Tower and it dovetailed neatly with some content some readers will maybe find disturbing.
WARNING: Abuse talk?
FORMAT: AIM quicklog

Dick: [Patrolling. Patrolling. Hey! Seeing Tim! Who apparently left the Tower today. Dick is totally going after him so he can inquire about this.]

Tim: [Damnit, he was just trying to patrol in peace. But it'll be way more trouble than it's worth to ditch his pursuit with superspeed right now. He swings over to a rooftop and waits.]

Dick: [Thank you Tim for not fleeing away. Were you really thinking about it? Really? B| Dick swings over where Tim stopped and touches ground not too far from him.] Hey.

Tim: [Of course he considered it, for a moment or two.] ... Hey.

Dick: [Dick is not going to ramble and just cut right to the point. Like he usually does.] Can you explain to me why I'm currently living in the Tower but you're not?

Tim: [And Tim is just gonig to - not entirely deliberately - fall into an imitation of Batman's most emotionless and closed-off tone.] I just need some space.

Dick: [Linefaaaaace.] You're the most unstable leader ever.

Tim: [Tiny eyebrow twitch.] Feel free to join up and vote me out.

Dick: [Sighs.] Even if I was on the team, I wouldn't vote you out. You know what I meant.

Tim: ... I know. [Tch.] I always used to live at home and just travel to the Tower at the weekends, at home. I don't see why going back to that for a little while should cause a problem.

Dick: I don't care about if you're still efficient. I care 'cause you left. For no reason. 'Cause you needed space. And it's just when we got a drug addict in the Tower, which is great timing.

Tim: It's not for no reason. [Alright, that was snappy. He breathes in and stays calm.] I left because I had an argument with a couple of people.

Dick: [Dick doesn't respect privacy when talking to someone who spies on him.] About what?

Tim: [Yeah prepare for Tim to sound like a giant hypocrite.] Emotional privacy.

Dick: [Yeah see Dick point it out, while mumbling.] Typical...

Tim: [He frowns.] It's inside my head. That's not... up for discussion.

Dick: [B|] So that means whatever's inside mine isn't up for discussion ever either, uh?

Tim: Not if it shouldn't even change anything, no. [Heavy sigh.] Do you want me to apologise and rip out all the cameras? Just shut up and stop - being me?

Dick: [Annoyed] No, that's okay. I made the mistake once, I'll just remember not to say anything I don't want you to hear wherever you put cameras up, that's all.

Tim: [Ugh for fuck's sake, why is this so...] You can just. Signal. Like, I don't know, tap your finngers on the nearest surface three times, and I'll turn off the cameras or erase the footage, whichever.

Dick: [This is going to turn into a conversation about trust issues :/] And you'd just do it. Really.

Tim: Yes, I would. [Of course it is.] Not that you have to believe me.

Dick: Well, no. I really don't.

Tim: ... Fine. [Wiiithdrawing.]

Dick: I'd remind you that's your fault, but something tells me you know it already.

Tim: [Just like everything else lately.] Yes, I know.

Dick: [Sighs] I wasn't planning on talking about all that, by the way. Or fighting. Or whatever.

Tim: [Very slight eyebrow raise] The best conversations are usually unplanned.

Dick: Oh, 'cause that's a 'best' conversation so far?

Tim: You felt good afterwards, right?

Dick: [He thinks about it for a second or two.] Not really, to be honest.

Tim: Really? You seemed... well, relaxed. [Head tilt.]

Dick: [He quirks his lips, hesitant.] I don't know. I've been just... thinking about this for a while. Voicing it was new but I've accepted all this. Mostly.

Tim: [Ah, so they are going to talk about this. Tim didn't want to push it too hard, but he'll take the opening.] Do you want to tell me about it? What happened that you feel was abuse.

Dick: [He tenses up. This is very direct -- probably too direct -- and Dick still doesn't like the word at all, to be honest. It sounds very... definitive.] Yeah, I'm not sure I wanna talk about it. [It's just. Hard, still. Especially with Tim who knows him and knows Batman.]

Tim: [And he's doing nothing but messing up lately. He sighs and just - sits on the ground (roof)] Sorry. You could just... talk about it in general. How it was with him, what you did. Good and not so good. Whatever you want.

Dick: [He's going to keep on standing up, at least for now.] It's -- when I think about the time I had with him, I don't remember ever feeling like things he did were wrong. But now I do... looking back. It probably wasn't that bad if I never felt bad as it was happening, though. [Right?]

Tim: Hm. You didn't have anything to compare them to at the time, though, did you? There weren't any other examples of what right or wrong would have been, in that situation.

Dick: Well, no, I didn't. But even without comparison, when's something's just plain wrong, it's just plain wrong, you know?

Tim: [He thinks about that, and then nods.] Yeah. It is. But there are some things where it gets... fuzzy. It's hard to tell, sometimes.

Dick: Like -- so okay I'm gonna talk about it a bit but don't overreact on me -- he hit me a few times. But it always felt justified. Like he was just allowed to.

Tim: ... He hit you. Dick, that's not - I'm trying not to overreact, but that's not actually sounding okay. Were you fighting?

Dick: [Uhm. Not looking at Tim and trying to sound distant.] The first time was like -- in the car, the first time we met. I don't remember it very well. [He was totally drugged out of his mind, okay?] Then there was -- ah. Remember when I freaked out on you and talked about my future?

Tim: [The first time they met - what the hell, alternate Bruce.] ... Yeah, I remember.

Dick: [Don't tell him, he sort of realises now, okay?] I told you I nearly killed someone.

Tim: [He nods, slowly.] He hit you because of that?

Dick: Mmmmore like threw me against a wall, really.

Tim: ... Dick. That's not okay.

Dick: I was killing someone. He got me away from him.

Tim: He could have done it without throwing you into a wall.

Dick: [And subsequently punching him in the face, too. And that will not be said out loud because Tim really seems upset enough... :/] I know.

Tim: [He bites his lower lip - trying not to overreact, right.] But it still felt like it was, at the time... because he was your only authority figure?

Dick: There's no way anyone can argue that I was doing something wrong. He just -- he had to make Jordan some auxiliary windpipe. I didn't think about wondering about his actions after what I'd done.

Tim: ... A tracheoctomy. I - jeez, Dick, still. [He shakes his head.] Lack of training? Or - you don't have to say. Just... what else?

Dick: [If 'no training at all' fits in 'lack of training' then... yes. And this is getting really awkward again so he's going to counter the awkward with the most neutral and I-don't-care tone he can come up with.] I stayed in the Cave for about a month except when he needed me out for whatever reasons. The press. Some patrolling. Stuff like that.

Tim: ... Just in the Cave? Not in the Manor?

Dick: I didn't know his secret ID at the time. [Shrugs]

Tim: That does sound kind of... less than ideal. [Creepy and possessive and rife with trust issues and, yes, abusive.] And you really didn't mind it?

Dick: I didn't know his ID. I hated it but I understood. Would you tell your civilian name to a twelve year old the first day you met?

Tim: No, but... sorry. But my Batman didn't get twelve year olds involved as Robin without telling them. It just... it's a sign of trust in the partnership, and I'm really trying not to let it bug me that you didn't have that, but it's just - really different.

Dick: [Okay so he's tired of standing up and he's sitting close-ish to Tim.] I'm not saying my Batman did the right thing. I pretty much know by now that he didn't. But... I'm trying to explain why I didn't mind before.

Tim: [He nods, carefully. In other circumstances, he might have just hugged Dick after hearing all of that, but - now was not a good time for that. The thought barely even pings above his subconscious before being dismissed.] Yeah. I see. ... Is there anything... I don't know. Anything more you want to say, or want me to do?

Dick: Nah. It's not a pack of new things for me. I wouldn't be able to talk about it if I was still emo-ing on the subject. It's hard to explain... I just needed time to think. Which, you know, I could do without moving out into my own place.

Tim: [Oh, low blow.] ... You needed to be away from Batman. I need to be away from... certain people right now. In a really different sense, but.

Dick: [Always, ffff. And he didn't stay away from Batman during all that time at all but whatever.] Hmm. Sure. [He's not very snarky as he says that, still just thinking about the conversation he just had and Tim's question about whether Dick had anything more to say or would want Tim to do anything.]

Tim: ... Just give me a couple of days. I'm always going to have my comm on if you need me.

Dick: [Nnngh. Oh well. That subject's been dropped anyway so he doesn't have to add anything about it.] Sure. Don't take too long.

Tim: [He smiles faintly.] I'll try not to. You want to patrol together for a little while?

Dick: [He mirrors the smile.] Not for long, I'm probably patrolling with Batman tonight. I need to talk to him soon-ish.

Tim: [He should probably talk to Batman as well, beyond asking for an apartment to run away to, but. ... Well. He stands and stretches.] Okay, just for a bit, then.