capeandcowllogs | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

WHO:

glowsferatu
WHERE: porter building
WHEN: the day that huge log took place
WARNINGS: courtblock drama
SUMMARY: courtblock drama!!!! now with less captcha interruption
FORMAT: teehee

continued from here

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Of course!!! Anything less would be reprehensible.

[and when she says "anything less" she means "anything with the word defense in it ugh".]

[ kanaya folds her arms defiantly and gives the other girl a glare that is absolutely most assuredly genuine and not at all sarcastic ]

May your case, then, be presented. I would appreciate a full disclosure of every grievance for which I am being charged.

[the glare is terrifying of course but terezi will persevere!! she is a legislacerator, after all, and a total badass. yep.]

Oh boy, we're gonna be here a while! Rest assured that the prosecution will request a recess when we're done so the Mother Grub fearing citizens in the room can exit the courblock and puke!!

Terezi! [ she makes a face of mild disgust. ]

Surely none of my crimes could be of so vulgar a nature! I always did clean up afterwards.

Hehehehe! Breaking the law is disgusting all by itself, Kanaya!

Yes, but disgust is practiced in various degrees. Not all disgust is likely to inspire oral evacuation!

I would puke if you really broke the law!

Therefore, your lack of such action must testify to my innocence!

Obviously, Kanaya, we are role playing here! Durrr!

Then I must find you guilty of breaking character! What say you, Senator Berryrump?

[the senator quivers his proboscis and terezi gasps dramatically!!]

What's that?? You agree?? Unacceptable!!!

[oh god where did she get that dagger from?? hopefully no one around is paying attention!]

Prepare to be fired, Senator!!

[unless kanaya stops her senator berryrump shall soon be no more!!]

[ with a gasp, kanaya makes a quick grab at terezi's wrist, keeping the knife from striking it's fatal blow ]

Aha! And the accused stands guilty, in the presence of all these witnesses gathered, of the act of assassinating the bailiff! Surely, there is no mercy present in the court for such action.

Stay your hand, criminal!! For behold!!

[terezi quickly pulls a couple of troll caegars from her pocket and scatters them on the floor near the unfortunate berryrump!]

The Senator is a corrupt fiend!! How dare you come into this court as an officiate of the law when the very spoils of your corrupt means line your pockets as we speak???

[terezi...really gets into these scenarios, okay...]

[ kanaya glances between terezi and berryrump awkwardly, not sure who to believe ]

The evidence may have been planted, given that the prosecution s in possession of a multitudinous reasons why the witness should be discredited. The motivation is plainly apparent!

Gasp!! Does the accused dare to accuse her accuser????

This is technically the second occasion on which I've done so. Madame prosecutor must really pay better mind to her courtblock.

[ she places a hand to her chin thoughtfully ] Or was it the third?

Your sheer impudence is disgusting!

[oh, but she's starting to giggle. the prosecutor's tough exterior is beginning to crack!!!]

[ she folds her arms and grins mischievously ]

You must never underestimate the cunning design of one certain fashionable sylph. Her capacity to surprise you with her cleverness is inimitable.

The sylph may be clever, but the seer retains the upper hand! Soon she will be forced to pull out her secret weapon!!

You'll have to pardon me as I quiver in fear from the unmanageable degree of anticipation this possibility inspires!

Just remember, you asked for it!! Those in the audience with weak stomachs should look away!!!

[oh noooooo, what terrible weapon could she possibly be about to utilize???? she leans toward the accused, slowly and menacingly, and then.......

gives her a kiss right on the cheek. SURELY VICTORY SHALL NOW BE HERS.]

Hehehehe!

[ kanaya just blushes and flusters ]

O-objection! The prosecution is, um, leading the w-witness!

[terezi, with her face still pretty much pressed against kanaya's, slyly takes on the part of judge!!]

Overruled!

[ kanaya turns to cup terezi's face in her hands ]

Very well, it appears my defense is inadequate against so skilled a legislacerator! You may commence sentencing.

[terezi beams at her in return.]

The prosecution finds the deplorable Miss Maryam guilty of about a billion counts of being fussy, meddling, and resisting shooshes from her moirail!!! The duty of the courtblock is clear!! Miss Maryam must immediately report to.....

[wow look at her drawing this out dramatically]

...the scalemate pile!!

I will accept this punishment, but I would request a postponement of the execution of my sentence.

We are, might I remind you, currently withheld in an interim period for which we anticipate the receipt of our new electronic communication devices.

[terezi huffs at this reminder that they are actually waiting in a gigantic line.]

I guess we can put it off.

[ kanaya grabs her by the wrist and pulls her in close ]

Oh, don't fret so quickly! Once these matters are concluded, we can follow through with the consequences for my most heinous of crimes immediately!

Just imagine with anticipation the fact that you will be given the most opportune occasion on which to don the black hood of the Executor.

[naturally, terezi has no objections to this.]

Ahahahaha!! You will be shooshed and papped like never before, you fiend!

[ they'd be overruled anyway ]

Assuming, of course, that I don't see fit to issue a reversal.

I guess there would be no point in objecting to that kind of behavior! The judge just won't go for it.

In some matters, His Tyranny holds little jurisdiction. Whatever ruling he might attempt in the courtblock of pale maneuvers would be cat aside into the shameful abyss which is an appeals hearing of the absolute lowest circuit!

That's because pale maneuvers are a matter of love, not justice! Um, except for when we're playing courtblock drama like we just were.

Only as much as we allow it to have such an effect, yes.

Next time you can try your hand at prosecution!

Should the resulting context render such a decision appropriate, I will not hesitate to make good on that offer.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only