ZERO IS A RUINER

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

WHO: Connor MacManus (sanctusveritas) and Lust (easytochop)
WHERE: Some kind of... abandoned warehouse or something idk
WHEN: 9/23, MORNING OF SHAME AND REGRETS
WARNINGS: NO IDEA will edit accordingly
SUMMARY: Last night, Connor and Lust mistook each other for people who they actually knew! Right now, not so much.
FORMAT: quicklog i think

[And here is this broad, slowly lapsing into consciousness in a... warehouse or subway tunnel or wherever she has ended up, I am not completely sure. Her first conscious thought is how strange these circumstances are in the first place; Lust does not sleep without explicitly intending to do it, and she never sleeps this heavily, or wakes up feeling as bad as this.

Her second thought is what on earth is that.]

Comments

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

[Connor's face-down in someone's breasts. An unfamiliar someone.

Okay, so this isn't the first time Connor's woken up in this position. It is not even the first time he's woken up in this position without any recollection of how he's gotten there. And, come to think of it, it's not even the first time he's woken up face down in someone's cleavage with no recollection of getting there, nor how he's obtained the outfit he's wearing.

Though the chickens are new...

So...Connor's not panicking outright, just makes a "Nnrrgh" sound and sluggishly contemplates moving..]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[Lust, on the other hand, is totally flipping a shit. It is a silent shitflipping, to be fair! If you ignored her narrowed eyes and the stiffening of her spine, it would be a totally unnoticeable shitflipping! But she is flipping a shit nonetheless, and before Connor can decide to move independently, there's a gloved hand grabbing him by the back of the... Comedian's... shirt uniform thing.]

Time to wake up.

[Yank yank yank, as she tries to hoist him up to eye level >:[ She's doubly pissed because she can't remember what lead to this situation, meaning that there must be foul play involved somewhere. She is a homunculus. She doesn't just forget.]

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

[BUTBUT...BOOBS why is he being pulled away from the--AKADLFAS OH MY GOD.]

What the fuck!?

[Holy lord, woman, is there any sin you haven't committed? Between that kerfuffle and his hangover, Connor is actually in physical pain. His line-face at her is actually quite impressive.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

What a broad question.

[There's maybe a hint of amusement in her eyes as she stares him down, but man her head huuuuuurts and he is still kind of lying against her, so even with someone looking at her like she is the worst thing since Barry Manilow she cannot be all that happy. SO:]

Get off me.

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

How the fuck did I get on you?

[Actually, nevermind. She has a great rack. Connor can kind of figure that out. Be he does roll off because how the fuck did he get into Eddie's costume. He just...glares at her.

This is somehow her fault.

And there are chickens. Connor shoves one away from him irritably, ignoring the squawking.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[She pauses, glaring at the chickens and also Connor, before looking back up at him and admitting the ugly truth.]

I was hoping you could tell me.

[At this point, it's sort of started to sink in that she's seen his face and heard his voice on the communicators; she can't remember his name, though, at least not with this headache.] But I know you, don't I?

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

Well I've got no fucking idea.

[Oh god if they were roleplaying and she made him be Eddie, he's going to kill someone. Possibly Eddie.]

I've talked to you on the Network.

[It's probably a good thing he can't find his gun. But then again, his gun is probably with his clothes and...having those back would be nice.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[Oh god I can only think of one Eddie right now and it is not the one whose clothes he is wearing and GOD NO. There's a considering pause, during which one of the chickens runs right up in front of her and she gives it a shove to the side while it bawwwks indignantly and feathers go flying everywhere; generous of her, considering that right now she would very much like to make chicken kebab in the most literal sense of the word.]

That's right. [And at this point Lust realizes that she can totally make fun of him so she feels less crappy!] How's your search going, then? You know--the one for the brainwashers.

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

[God why are there chickens. Nothing about this situation makes sense, apart from her boobs, because Connor totally knows what happened there.]

I got sidetracked.

[And his scowl darkens impressively because god fucking damnit that's a whole night wasted.]

Where are my clothes?

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[WHAT HAPPENED THERE]

Those aren't yours? [God she is such a bitch but she is a bitch who is getting up off this gross warehouse floor because seriously, ew, grody.] But they fit so well. I think it's a good look for you.

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

[YOU'VE GOT A GREAT RACK. CONNOR GOT ACQUAINTED WITH IT. come on Lust keep up.]

No, they're not mine. [If he line-faces any harder his face will break.] They belong to some asshole I know, and I don't know why I'm wearing them.

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

Considering neither of us know where we are, that should be the least of your issues. [She looks down perfunctorily at the ground--aww yeah, that's her pocketbook. It's on the nasty floor, to be fair, and there's a chicken pecking at it, but at least she knows her comm's safe.] And your communicator?

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

Probably...wherever I left my clothes.

[Sob he's not wearing anything under this stupid costume. Connor is so unhappy with his life choices right now.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

Someone's out of luck.

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

Well, just let me borrow yours then.

[Not that Connor knows who he's going to call. It's not like he can ring up Murph or anything.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[She ignores him and picks up her hideous chicken-handbag, then smiles as she straightens up.]

But how do I know I can trust you?

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

Don't I look trustworthy?

[Says the strange man wearing The Comedian's costume...]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[She just linefaces at him.]

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

What?

[Connor blinks at her. There's a chicken pecking at his leg.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[God bless that chicken.]

Maybe I don't want any evidence that this happened, which a message using my communicator would provide. Is that any clearer?

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

[Lust, can you see the little thought bubble form over Connor's head as he realizes what you're saying?]

Well, that's a bit insulting.

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[LMFAO wait does he think she wants to kill him because she totally doesn't she's just being a huge bitch]

Is it? [A beat.] How rude of me.

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

[HE JUST THINKS SHE'S ASHAMED OF BEING SEEN WITH HIM. although please don't kill him either that would suck...]

And I was even going to let you keep one of the chickens.

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[my goodness SHE WOULD NEVER

except that she... totally would

SHE PROBABLY WOULD NEVER IN THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT]

You're too kind. I can't say I'm hungry, though.

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

[THEN HE IS SAFE FOR NOW.]

Not to eat, to...

[Wait...what the hell is Connor even going to do with two chickens? Oh well, he'll think of something.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

I was joking. [Crosses... her arms...] But what else are you supposed to do with them?

[sanctusveritas.livejournal.com]

Well, I couldn't tell.

[Geez Lust come on.]

I dunno. Feed them. Trade them to your neighbors for their daughter, if she's worth two chickens.