It's beard day beard day

[liverletdie]

WHO: iron_liver and meowminx
WHERE: Selina's Apartment which Tony knows where it is lol
WHEN: Saturday Afternoon!
WARNINGS: BEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARDDDDDDSSSS
SUMMARY: Tony and Selina hang out on beard day
FORMAT: WORDS


So. He had a beard. It was roguish, and not terrible, but he would much prefer to not have a beard. Unfortunately, no matter how many times he shaved the mess away, it didn't actually go.

So he'd decided it had to be magic of some sort, and he'd been watching for signs that other people had beards. Most were silent, and ashamed that they had them, which was to be expected, especially if they were female, so he took to looking for signs of who had one. Surprisingly, through his orbital investigating (through some rather nice satellites he'd managed to keep hacked) he'd found that Selina did.

He felt bad, he really did. Selina was a lovely woman, and having a beard...well. It was hardly fair.

So here he was, at her door, knocking softly. His eyebrow quirked slightly in amusement, but he kept his mouth flat and solemn. It wouldn't do to laugh at her.

Comments

[meowminx]

Selina had been completely horrified of course. First Harley ported out on movie night (and she was actually a bit sad about it to her surprise) and now this. She'd messaged Bruce not to come over and wrapped a scarf around her face. She didn't even want to see herself looking like this.

The knock at the door came a bit later. She knew who it was, of course. How many people knew where she lived?

"I told you not to..." She broke off when she flung open the door. So maybe she hadn't known who it was.

[liverletdie]

He grinned. "You thought I was your rich boyfriend? Well, I won't say that you have half down right, but I think the boyfriend part would make the good Mr. Wayne a little jealous, don't you?"

It was a jaunty grin, but it was the first time he'd broached the fact that he knew that Selina was in a relationship. Not that it was actually hard to find out. It was everywhere. He paused, and leaned against the door.

"Can I come in?"

[meowminx]

Her eyes narrowed at him just a little bit. She'd almost forgotten Tony knew Bruce. There was Christmas dinner. And before that, the charity auction. Maybe someone's ego was still a bit bruised that his $10 million hadn't gotten him very far.

"Why would I let you in?" The scarf muffled her voice a bit.

[liverletdie]

It was. Slightly. Then again, he hadn't been willing to go much further just for a date. There was reputation to be considered, after all.

"Maybe because I know you have a hair problem under that scarf, and obviously I'm fighting one too. I thought you might like some company. I promise I won't laugh."

[meowminx]

She crossed her arms, looking a bit grumpy. "Seems like it's going around," she muttered, the closest she would come to admitting he was right. But she wasn't going to take that scarf off at all. Not until said problem went away.

[liverletdie]

"Just a little bit," he mentioned, and he shrugged. "So can I come in? I promise, it can't be that bad. Look at my face! I look like a mountain man."

[meowminx]

"Pretty typical for the male of the species." But she edged aside just enough to let him in. Maybe because he did look like an idiot and it made her feel the tiniest bit better.

[liverletdie]

He smiled, and slid in, crossing his arms as he did so. He looked aside, trying to see if there were any cats around.

It wasn't that he disliked cats, or was allergic. Animals just made him uncomfortable. They weren't controllable, an unknown element that wouldn't do what he said. Thankfully, he didn't see any around.

"Please, I much prefer my facial hair to be completely tamable, and it looks so much better," he paused, and shrugged. "You know I've already seen it, you don't have to hide, you know."

[meowminx]

The cats had retreated to the bedroom in the face of her anger at the City's latest stupid stunt. Which seemed to be coming back at his statement. "Excuse me?"

[liverletdie]

"I mean that I've already seen your beard. It's quite fetching." he said simply.

It was. It looked like his, and he did have impeccable taste.

[meowminx]

"Do you want me to throw you out?" And now she was wishing she'd just been turned into a cat again or something. At least that made a bit more sense than this.

[liverletdie]

"No?" he said simply, and sat down on the couch. "Fine, fine. Leave your scarf on and be miserable, Selina. I was just telling you I'm not going to poke fun, or make you uncomfortable. Bearded ladies aren't exactly my thing, you know."

[meowminx]

"I'm not miserable. I'm just tired of this crap." She sinks into an opposite chair, yes leaving the scarf on forever. And perhaps a little bit miserable.

[liverletdie]

He lifted an eyebrow, and leaned back. "Same, believe me." He ran a hand through his hair, and shrugged. "It's never a dull moment, that's for sure. It would be nice if just once we could have a week where nothing bad happened. Absolutely nothing."

[meowminx]

"And no one was ported out." Not that she was good friends with Harley. Most of the time she was nothing but an annoyance. But knowing that maybe that changed in her future if she ever made it home...

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She was getting a headache.

[liverletdie]

"Oh yeah, that one for sure," he paused, and amended that with a smile. "Or rather, nobody we like was ported out. I could live with some of the unsavory types leaving. Might make things a little more normal anyway."

He shook his head. "Oh, and while we're playing the unrealistic expectations game, can I ask for an airtight security system?"

[meowminx]

"About as much as I can ask to not be spied on." Oh yes, there was a sharp note to her voice there.

[liverletdie]

Oh. Ouch.

"It wasn't spying! I was recording data on who had beards for my records. It's not like I was looking for you specifically. I just figured you wouldn't mind having some company. It beats spending the day alone, doesn't it?"

[meowminx]

"I was planning on sleeping." Which was the exact same line she'd fed to Bruce.

[liverletdie]

"You didn't have to let me in if you were going to sleep off the beard. Then again, you could wake up and still have it, so I think you'd get sick of sleeping after a while."

[meowminx]

"Maybe." Sorry Tony, your use of logic isn't making her any less grumpy.

[liverletdie]

He was perfectly happy to sit and be the fault to her moping, whether she liked it or not.

"Are you that embarrassed about this? You're not the only woman who got one, you know."

[meowminx]

"I'm not a big fan of humiliation, no." Unless it was happening to other people.

[liverletdie]

"To be honest? Neither am I." He shrugged slightly at her, and scratched at his own beard. "Believe me, I know. I'm definitely not a fan of this look. Doesn't mean I'm going to hide."

[meowminx]

"The last thing I need is for the press to get wind of this crap." They had certainly been useful in capturing the public date of her and Bruce. But there were limits on what she'd tolerate about the public being aware of in her life. She'd prefer if they kept to the fabrications.

[liverletdie]

He let loose a short bark of laughter, and rolled his eyes at her. "Selina, you're not the one who has a musical written about them. I think I've got the worse deal when it comes to this. You want to talk about bad press," he trailed off, hoping to lighten the mood at least a little bit.

[meowminx]

"You're actually a public figure. Thieves aren't used to press." Although she was back in Gotham. She was just complaining to complain, really.

[liverletdie]

"True. That happens when you date one, you know. Bethany," he paused. Was he really ready to reveal some of the painful details of his history with other women to Selina Kyle? She might find it a good topic to bring up some other time.

No matter. He was over Beth anyway.

"Bethany didn't like it either, you know. She was the same way, except for the thief part. She was a bodyguard, and you apparently can't do your job too well, if you're being watched constantly." He paused. "Moral of the story is: you'll get used to it, whether you like it or not."

[meowminx]

"Bruce isn't that public a figure here." It was true, the tabloid story had focused more on her. The poor woman who that awful Osborn fellow had tried to kill, hopefully finding a second chance at love.

[liverletdie]

"That's curious, too. Guy like him? Probably should be." He shrugged the question off, filing it away for later thought, and returned to the subject at hand. "Really, you shouldn't be surprised. The tabloids are so fascinated by us. We're more interesting than the celebrities here, anyway."

[meowminx]

"Probably enjoying the break from it. And as for the tabloids, I really don't give a crap." Except when they gave a crap about her.

[liverletdie]

He laughed, and leaned forward. The tabloid line was cute, but he knew better from the way she'd spoke about the media attention. "I tell you what. When you get this beard thing up, I've got a place out in the tropics. I'll let you two borrow it if you'd like. No tabloids, guaranteed."

It was a very generous offer. His reasoning, predictably, wasn't so generous. What better way to find allies than give offers?

[meowminx]

It was a generous offer, and it was clear from the part of her face that was visible that he'd surprised her. "That's surprisingly kind of you, Tony." Considering how often he tried to get into her pants, providing a location for her to vacation with another guy was surprising.

[liverletdie]

And that was the thing about Tony Stark. Every attempt to woo a woman was lighthearted, there was no 'must' have for him. Would he love to have a tyrst with Selina? Certainly. However now, she was in a relationship. That was the off-limits category, and so he'd make a friend happy.

"It's nothing. Believe me, I don't use it often enough for my own good."

[meowminx]

"If you insist." It might be nice to get away from all this crap for a while.

[liverletdie]

"I won't insist, but if you're interested, the offer's open." And then he smiled. Congenially.

Tony Stark could be creepy when he wanted to be, even if he was being innocuous.

[meowminx]

Yes, she notices the creepy.

"And how many cameras do you have there?"

[liverletdie]

"None. Surprising, I know, but the place is there for vacations. Even for me."

It was true, too. He didn't need cameras in a place to zoom in, and he wasn't interested in recording someone's sex life. Maybe if he were a bottom feeder with no hope of finding someone to sleep with himself, he'd consider it, but he didn't need to. He wasn't interested anyway.

The watching he did of the city wasn't in that vein either. He watched the city because someone had to. He watched the city because without someone recording data, and filing it away, nobody would. He was the best equipped to do so, so he did.

[meowminx]

Selina, of course, tended to think the worst of Tony. Their history was a bit patchy.

"All right. Guess I'll have to take your word for it."

[liverletdie]

"You don't have to, but you're welcome to," he quipped back, relaxing in the seat.

[meowminx]

"Right." She shifted in her seat. "I'd offer you something, but I think only the water's nonalcoholic."

[liverletdie]

"That's fine. No need to rub it in, or anything," he muttered. He screwed his lip, but then changed it to a smile. "I can leave, you know."

[meowminx]

"Whatever. I don't care." She was doing an exceptionally great job of pretending she didn't care. Except not really.

[liverletdie]

He just eyed her. A very good, very flat look, a slight twist of his lips to let her know that her feigned disinterest wasn't convincing him.

[meowminx]

She finally sighed. "I really did want to sleep some." She got more than Bruce, but that wasn't saying much. Amy excuse to get some extra shuteye in was a good one.

And she planned to leave the scarf on even for that.

[liverletdie]

"Alright, alright. Hint taken." he stood, and brushed his knees.

"Look, if you wake up and still have a beard, and you get bored, just give me a ring, alright? Beautiful women shouldn't suffer by themselves."

And a smile to top it off. Flirtatious, but harmless. Pretty much his usual attitude.

[meowminx]

That got the slightest smile out of her. Not that he could see it. "Right."

"The slightest pause. "Thanks, Tony."

[liverletdie]

"Anytime," he mentioned, and headed for the door to let her get some sleep.