In A.D. 2011, war was beginning.

[pacifisted.livejournal.com]

WHO: 300,000 angry nerds and the Imports who fight them. Tag yourselves in, please!
WHERE: All around, but mostly near the Porter tower
WHEN: 7:30A May 18 - 3:13P May 20, 2011
WARNINGS: There is no fourth wall. Only Zuul. And violence. And probably bad language. And other things as well. JUST ASSUME THAT THIS LOG IS NOT FOR LIL'UNS.
SUMMARY: The Crabhammers declare war on the Porter and, to a lesser extent, the Imports. The battle lasts three days, is horrible in just about every way you can think of, and this is how it goes down.
FORMAT: However people wanna do it!

"There's no environment. Use your imagination. There's no fourth wall, whether it's the first time you've told this story about her life, or the sixth time."

Everything you need to know is here.

quick links to avoid crashy computers
in the fray
DAY ONE: 7:30 AM--10:00 AM (FIRST CHARGE, BROKEN TRAINS, TRAFFIC JAMS)
DAY ONE: 10:00 AM ONWARD (CONTINUED BATTLING, PUBLIC DISTURBANCES ELSEWHERE)
DAY ONE: 5:17 PM ONWARD (CONTINUED BATTLING, FIRES AND BOMBS ALL OVER)
DAY TWO: 1:00 AM -- 6:28 AM (CONTINUED BATTLING, ENEMY ENERGY DRINKS)
DAY TWO: 6:28 AM -- 12:00 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, PIRATING THE RADIO STATION)
DAY TWO: 12:00 PM -- 7:42 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, TOY RAIDS)
DAY TWO: 7:42 PM -- DAY THREE: 12:00 AM (CONTINUED BATTLING, ENEMY IMPORT-HATING REINFORCEMENTS)
DAY THREE: 12:01 AM ONWARD (CONTINUED BATTLING, HERE COMES THE CAVALRY)
DAY THREE: 6:45 AM -- 1:00 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, CREATE YOUR OWN INSANE LAST-DITCH GEEK TRICKS)
DAY THREE: 1:00 PM -- 3:13 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, THE MADAGASCARIAN TWENTY-GRAND HOLDOUT)
DAY THREE: 3:13 PM ONWARD (WAR OVER. TAKE PRISONERS, MAKE FRIENDS, GET HEALED, FALL ASLEEP, ETC)

not quite in the fray
DAY ONE: ALL DAY (ON THE SIDELINES, AT REST, TAKING BREAKS, ETC.)
DAY TWO: ALL DAY (ON THE SIDELINES, AT REST, TAKING BREAKS, ETC.)
DAY THREE: ALL DAY (ON THE SIDELINES, AT REST, TAKING BREAKS, ETC.)

fuck the fray
DAY ONE: ALL DAY (FORGET THE BATTLE, I HAVE HBO)
DAY TWO: ALL DAY (YOU LOSERS ARE STILL FIGHTING? IT'S AMERICAN IDOL TIME!)
DAY THREE: ALL DAY (IF YOU'RE ALL BUSY ELSEWHERE I'M JUST GONNA GO ROB A BANK)

Comments

[newbvampire]

"I will, sir. Don't worry." There was no way she was going to let any of those creeps get anywhere near Jack. With a final nod Seras grabbed the grenade launcher. Pulling it up to her shoulder she fired three rounds through the stores windows, spread out for maximum effect. After giving the gas a minute to deploy she moved forward to take up a position to cover Jack.

[out_of_time]

Jack ran forward through the department's parking lot as the gas billowed within the store, dashing from vehicle to vehicle for cover. At least some of the enemy must have had protection against the gas though. There was a mighty shout of "Cobra-la-la-la-la-la!" and then shots started coming from the front windows, the soft pops of modified air rifles. Jack ducked as the rounds streaked past, specially-modified tracers made to resemble lasers. He couldn't believe it. They were actually using 'Cobra-la-la-la-la-la' as a serious battle cry. These people were beyond all reason.

[newbvampire]

God, these freaks were really mental. Totally and completely mental. So much for resolving this easily. At least the gas would help to conceal Captain Bauer from them while letting her see them just fine. Using her third eye Seras laid down covering fire, being careful to aim for the Cobra Troopers' chests. While the rubber bullets weren't normally lethal they could be if you shot someone in the head.

However when used properly they were very effective as Seras shows when two of her targets slide to the floor groaning, the wind knocked out of them.

[out_of_time]

Sprinting from cover, Jack made it to the front of the store and pressed up against the wall, ducking beneath the window while Seras and the Cobras exchanged fire over his head. According to the schematics, this place had a side entrance...

Crawling, staying out of sight of the windows, he worked his way around the building. Between the gas and the shooting, Seras was doing a great job of keeping the opposition occupied. It was easy for him to spot an open and unguarded window at the side large enough for him and his gear to squeeze through undetected.

Jack crept further into the store, surrounded by swirling white clouds. It was clear that many of the enemy had not been protected against the gas. He passed two blue-suited troopers curled up on the floor, coughing and crying miserably, all fight gone from them. Despite their actions, he found himself hoping they didn't have asthma.

Once past them, he crouched and raised a hand to his ear. "Seras, I'm inside."

[newbvampire]

Seras dropped another trooper before she slipped back into cover and replied to Jack. "Yes, sir. Do you want me to keep them busy out here, or try to advance inside?"

[out_of_time]

"Advance inside and keep them occupied. I'll contact you again once I've reached the bomb. Out." Jack stood up and got moving. According to the initial report, it should be near the center of the store...

"INCOMPETENT MICROBES! Destroy the Joes- er, police! THIS, I COMMAND!" Jack followed the sound of the ranting until he came up behind the enemy leader: a young man in what looked like a snake-themed outfit, standing on top of a customer service counter while yelling into a radio. The gas mask over his face fit awkwardly over his headdress, shaped like the open mouth of a cobra. Beneath him, behind the counter, was a sinister assemblage of wires and canisters. The bomb.

Jack crept up behind the Cobra leader, who was demanding to know why his forces kept falling. It was easy to approach undetected, seize him from behind, throw him to the ground, and catch him in a choke hold that rendered him unconscious in seconds. Jack put handcuffs on him, then bent over the bomb and raised his hand to his ear again. "Seras, I'm looking at the bomb. Just give me a few more minutes."

[newbvampire]

"Yes, sir!" She knew she shouldn't have sounded so excited, but she couldn't help herself. Getting to grips with these creeps just felt right somehow. Dashing out of cover Seras ran toward the store, sliding into cover just outside the door. Thankfully she didn't have to use said door as her previous fire had already smashed out a couple of windows and she easily vaulted inside through one, delivering a swift kick to the poor trooper who had been foolish enough to stay behind cover instead of falling back.

"I'm inside, sir. I'll keep the busy, don't worry."

[out_of_time]

Trusting Seras to her word and her work, Jack focused all his attention on the bomb. It didn't look too advanced, but it was clearly powerful. The really difficult part was that every single piece of the bomb seemed intended as a pop culture reference. There was a large red button that said 'do not push.' There were blinking red lights that served absolutely no sensible purpose. There was a row of red, blue, and yellow wires, none of which led anywhere. There was a wad of clay shaped like plastique. There was a fancy digital timer permanently stuck at one second left, and Jack could tell it wasn't actually connected to any detonation mechanism.

He growled under his breath. Figuring out which parts of this bomb were the actual bomb and which were theater could be harder than he'd thought.

[newbvampire]

After initially being taken off guard by her assault the troopers finally got some backbone and rallied, laying down a much more intensive wave of fire on Seras' position. Slowly her cover started to be chewed up, one of the bullets finally zipping through and glancing her cheek. Rolling out into the aisle Seras fired off some more gas, mainly for concealment, and then booked it to the counter, jumping over it to hide.

"Uh, sir? I think they might not be scared of me anymore."

[out_of_time]

"Make them scared!"

He almost had it. Jack could see now that all the bomb's pop-cultural add-ons were assembled around a functional core. The fake bomb was built around the real bomb. The meaningless beeping and ticking noises were just distractions So if he removed this panel and pried loose that false pressure gauge, then... there.

The actual bomb was fairly simple in its timing and detonation mechanisms. The timer was a digital watch, connected to the detonator by a single wire. No fail-safes, no backups, no hidden tricks. Jack peered inside, trying to look at it from different angles. It couldn't possibly be that easy, could it?

[newbvampire]

Seras clenched her fist and got her focus back. She wasn't going to let Captain Bauer down. He needed those troopers scared so she would make them scared.

Pulling off the flashbangs she had on her vest she pulled the pins and threw them toward the troopers. The second after the detonated she clambered over the counter and ran forward planted her fist in the face of the nearest trooper. His friend suffered a kick to the gut and an elbow to his chin. By this point the rest had recovered from the flashbangs and realized they had an angry vampire in the middle of them. Total panic set in as they all ran and tried to get away from Seras as quickly as they could.

[out_of_time]

That was the space he needed. Drawing a precision tool from his jacket, he slowly and delicately reached deep into the innards of the bomb, and touched the 'stop' button on the wristwatch. There was a beep, and then the countdown stopped. Simple as that. He wished all bombers could be this amateurish.

Not satisfied, Jack took a moment to disconnect the watch from the detonator, and the detonator from the explosives, before standing up and yelling "We're clear!" With the bomb defused and the hostiles subdued or routing, it looked like the store was well on its way to being secured.

[newbvampire]

Despite the violence of Seras assault all of the terrorists were alive. Though if their cries were anything to go by some of them would've prefered they that weren't at this exact moment. Even though she really wanted to run down the ones that were fleeing, Seras resisted the urge. The other officers outside could get them and she needed to stay put in case they had any last minute surprises. Sighing, she got to work handcuffing the ones that were down.

"Sir, I've got everything secure over here. Some of them got away, but I'm sure the officers out front and back will catch them. Is the bomb taken care of?"

[out_of_time]

"It's safe." Jack nodded. "The bomb people can take it from here now." He looked down at the faux-Serpentor, then around the store. The gas was beginning to subside, and he had a view of all the hostiles incapacitated by Seras's rounds and fists. He looked at her and smiled behind his gas mask. "Good work, Seras."

[newbvampire]

Seras stood up from handcuffing the last trooper and beamed a little. She was proud of her handiwork and the fact it bought Jack the time he needed to disable the bomb, well that just it made all the better. "Thank you, sir."