In A.D. 2011, war was beginning.

[pacifisted.livejournal.com]

WHO: 300,000 angry nerds and the Imports who fight them. Tag yourselves in, please!
WHERE: All around, but mostly near the Porter tower
WHEN: 7:30A May 18 - 3:13P May 20, 2011
WARNINGS: There is no fourth wall. Only Zuul. And violence. And probably bad language. And other things as well. JUST ASSUME THAT THIS LOG IS NOT FOR LIL'UNS.
SUMMARY: The Crabhammers declare war on the Porter and, to a lesser extent, the Imports. The battle lasts three days, is horrible in just about every way you can think of, and this is how it goes down.
FORMAT: However people wanna do it!

"There's no environment. Use your imagination. There's no fourth wall, whether it's the first time you've told this story about her life, or the sixth time."

Everything you need to know is here.

quick links to avoid crashy computers
in the fray
DAY ONE: 7:30 AM--10:00 AM (FIRST CHARGE, BROKEN TRAINS, TRAFFIC JAMS)
DAY ONE: 10:00 AM ONWARD (CONTINUED BATTLING, PUBLIC DISTURBANCES ELSEWHERE)
DAY ONE: 5:17 PM ONWARD (CONTINUED BATTLING, FIRES AND BOMBS ALL OVER)
DAY TWO: 1:00 AM -- 6:28 AM (CONTINUED BATTLING, ENEMY ENERGY DRINKS)
DAY TWO: 6:28 AM -- 12:00 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, PIRATING THE RADIO STATION)
DAY TWO: 12:00 PM -- 7:42 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, TOY RAIDS)
DAY TWO: 7:42 PM -- DAY THREE: 12:00 AM (CONTINUED BATTLING, ENEMY IMPORT-HATING REINFORCEMENTS)
DAY THREE: 12:01 AM ONWARD (CONTINUED BATTLING, HERE COMES THE CAVALRY)
DAY THREE: 6:45 AM -- 1:00 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, CREATE YOUR OWN INSANE LAST-DITCH GEEK TRICKS)
DAY THREE: 1:00 PM -- 3:13 PM (CONTINUED BATTLING, THE MADAGASCARIAN TWENTY-GRAND HOLDOUT)
DAY THREE: 3:13 PM ONWARD (WAR OVER. TAKE PRISONERS, MAKE FRIENDS, GET HEALED, FALL ASLEEP, ETC)

not quite in the fray
DAY ONE: ALL DAY (ON THE SIDELINES, AT REST, TAKING BREAKS, ETC.)
DAY TWO: ALL DAY (ON THE SIDELINES, AT REST, TAKING BREAKS, ETC.)
DAY THREE: ALL DAY (ON THE SIDELINES, AT REST, TAKING BREAKS, ETC.)

fuck the fray
DAY ONE: ALL DAY (FORGET THE BATTLE, I HAVE HBO)
DAY TWO: ALL DAY (YOU LOSERS ARE STILL FIGHTING? IT'S AMERICAN IDOL TIME!)
DAY THREE: ALL DAY (IF YOU'RE ALL BUSY ELSEWHERE I'M JUST GONNA GO ROB A BANK)

Comments

[a_relative_hero]

[Houston blurs out of sight a moment, suddenly holding a baseball bat when he settles. A few feet away there's a confused Crabhammer looking at his now empty hands. The teen nods and discards the bat.]

Got it. I'll get them somewhere safe. Nice to finally meet you in person by the way.

[He dashes again, picking up the nearest bystander and carrying them away to safety with his speed.

[professorlionface]

Likewise!

[Hank leaped in to the mob, doing his best to pacify the group without doing too much damage. Even so, he ends up juggling a couple on his feet and kicking them into their comrades.]

[a_relative_hero]

[Houston continued to zip in and out of the area, carrying bystanders to safety. A few times he had to dodge a blow swung his way but his powers helped evade. Once he had gotten just about all of them, he came running back again. This time the Crabhammers seemed to plan ahead, several distracting him with projectiles to avoid while another threw down a bag of marbles. Houston yelped as he tripped, windmilling his arms as he fell and slid into the side of a tipped over van.]

Ow.

[professorlionface]

[Hank hopped to where Houston landed and picked up the van to use it as a barrier, pushing it against the advancing horde.]

You alright down there?

[a_relative_hero]

[Houston got to his feet quickly, embarrassment clear on his face. He nodded and forced a small smile.]

Yeah. Costume's more protective than it looks. How many of these guys are there?

[professorlionface]

[He has his shoulder braced against the van as the mob starts pushing against it, trying to flip it on top of him.]

Here, or City-wide? I counted approximately twenty-five a minute ago.

[a_relative_hero]

Let's see if I can reduce those numbers a little.

[Houston zips his way over to the other side of the bus to start pulling members of the mob away and leaving them in dumpsters and trash cans in nearby alleys.]

[professorlionface]

I'll see if I can't scare the rest off!

[Hank took the opportunity to lift the thing up and swing it around. At the very least he could look as intimidating as possible!]

[a_relative_hero]

Whoa...

[Houston stares as he watches the intimidation. A smile breaks out on his face.]

Okay, that is just awesome.

[professorlionface]

Want to see a real stunt?

[As the Crabhammers cower, Hank tosses the bus at them! The moment it leaves his hands, he's on all-fours, shooting past the retreating enemies and twisting and rolling just in time to catch the bus before it lands on them.

They gape.
He preens.
The bus creaks a bit on the edges.]

[a_relative_hero]

[Houston grins as he watches the stunt, clapping when Hank catches the bus again.]

Awesome catch!

[professorlionface]

[Hank sets the bus down and takes a bow.]

Thank you, thank you!

[He looks back up at their Crabby audience and grins at them wickedly.]

Show's over. Go home.

[a_relative_hero]

I'd listen to him if I were you. [Houston crosses his arms and tries to look intimidating as well.]

[professorlionface]

[Hank whispers toward Houston as the mob scurries off.]

Do you think we should follow them to ensure they're really in full retreat, and not simply relocating their efforts?

[a_relative_hero]

[Houston blinks and whispers back.]

Maybe. Shouldn't we get a little back up though? In case we run right into their buddies?

[professorlionface]

Certainly not a bad idea! I'll contact a few colleagues.

[I know Spider-Man was showing up to help, but we decided to handwave his involvement to keep Skalja from getting bogged down in even more tags.]

[a_relative_hero]

Great. No telling how many of them there might be.

[S'ok.]

[professorlionface]

[Hank hopped up on the side of a nearby building and glanced back down at Houston.]

Well, they'll be behind us shortly, what say we find out how many?

[And they ran off into the sunset?]

[a_relative_hero]

[Houston smiled and nodded.]

Sounds good to me.

[Yes, into the sunset!]