capeandcowllogs | how strange that you should come to my dominion in the middle of the darkest night

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how strange that you should come to my dominion in the middle of the darkest night

WHO: [Bad username or site: niceassassin title=Elf @ livejournal.com] and [Bad username or site: fantasycliche title=dragon @ livejournal.com]. Again.
WHERE: The Delacorte Theater or C&C-verse equivalent, Central Park. Again.
WHEN: Ten minutes after this! ...For the first time!
WARNINGS: probably none?
SUMMARY: "QUIT HINTING THAT I'M A DRAGON. SERIOUSLY. I'LL EAT YOU."
FORMAT: quick!

[ As far as she can tell, the communicators leave information out in the open for just about anyone to see. It's a decidedly ineffective method of communication when you want to deliver more... sensitive messages.

Death threats, for example.

Onyx hasn't decided whether or not she'll actually kill Zevran. But she has to admit, it's an awfully tempting course of action. If he'd shown up five minutes ago, before she'd begun her qhen meditation (never easy, as a human, with their ridiculous cluttered minds and tangled emotions) in one of the empty seats at the theater, she's pretty sure she would have killed him. But by now she's considering other options, and some of them have the potential to be pleasing.

So she waits--for once, patiently. ]

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[ He would have a great deal to say about "other options that have the potential to be pleasing." That is, if he weren't well aware that Onyx is likely to try to kill him. That cuts down on the R-rated comic relief, for some strange reason.

The problem is that Zevran isn't really a long-term planner. His plans regarding Onyx have not so far progressed much beyond "tease her about dragons" and "don't get eaten." Simple infiltrate-and-kill plots are one thing--those are practically in his blood by now--but more complex and creative schemes just aren't his style. He follows where someone else leads him, and he does a good job of it. Operating on his own? That's a different story. Which is more or less how he's ended up worrying that he's going to be eaten by a dragon.

He wishes the Warden were here.

Nevertheless, when he steps out of the shadows, he's apparently unarmed and unafraid. ]

Charming place, isn't this?

[ He is not actually either of the above! There are knives up his sleeves and in his boots, along with vials of poison. Also he is kind of terrified. ]

[ She'd have been stupid to sit in the middle of an open area with her eyes closed, expecting a potential enemy. So of course there had been faint spells laid over the area, and every creature of notable size was a tiny spark in the back of her mind. Elves are no exception.

Forewarning provided, she doesn't open her eyes immediately when he appears. She takes her time, knowing well that image is especially important now. ]

Nevermind that. [ Now she looks up, golden yes intent on Zevran. ] You'd better speak plainly, and tell me what you think you know about me. [ a tiny twist of a smirk here. ] Pretend as though your life depended on it.

[ It's occurred to him that she might have other ways of sensing him. He would be long since dead if he didn't take things like that into account. But stealth comes naturally to him anyway, even when he's not using his new power.

He's saving that for later. For now, he arches a brow at her. ]

I think you are better at being a dragon than at pretending to be human. My lady.

[ She watches him thoughtfully for a few seconds, unmoving with her head cocked. Here is almost certainly where she would have simply killed him, in the anger of a few minutes ago. ]

I see. So, if I'm a dragon, and you've uncovered my ruse -- [ heavy sarcasm there, because it's better to make it look as though she wasn't trying than like he really did see through her disguise ] --What's to stop me from simply eating you, to silence you?

[ And here is where he is half-expecting her to try to kill him; he's poised to summon that strange cloak, to put a knife between her ribs before she can do whatever she does to shed the human disguise, to throw poison in her face--

--but she doesn't move to make any of that necessary. He stays still. ]

Besides the fact that I might come back? What a waste that would be...

Mmm, nothing that I can think of. Save perhaps common sense. I'm more useful alive than dead.

[ He has no intention of offering her his complete loyalty. He's done giving that to people who don't deserve it. But... ]

You need someone to help you learn how to act human. Better me than an actual human, yes?

[ She can't help a pleased look at that. Similar thinking. It's nice that she hadn't even had to propose the idea of "give me something or I'll kill you" herself. She finally stands, slowly, with no obvious weapons in hand or intent to harm (neither, after all, would be obvious), and approaches him. ]

Interesting proposal.

[ And her greed for knowledge has already latched onto this idea, even if it wasn't what she'd have thought of herself. Her mind had gone along the lines of material possessions, as a dragon's is wont to.

(And somewhere in the back of her mind come back echoes with a touch of confusion, but she ignores that. Bigger things to focus on.) ]

How would you teach me, exactly?

[ His weapons or intent to harm wouldn't be obvious, either. Isn't it nice how they have things in common? He regards her levelly, apparently unfazed. Even if he's actually at least a little freaked out. Stupid dragons. Back home, all of this would just be a delaying tactic until he could find some way to kill her. Here, that risks her coming back and eating him, and that would be highly unpleasant.

He's in unfamiliar territory. ]

By example, of course. Trial and error, as well.

"Don't grin like that; it makes you look like you're about to eat someone."

"Here is a dictionary. 'Please' is here and 'thank you' is there."

[ She stops in front of him, arms crossing over her chest as she sizes him up. He's bound to have at least a few weapons, but if they're out of sight then they're probably small, and thus not much of a concern to a dragon. So she wonders again how elf would taste. ]

I see. You'd offer me essentially nothing but occasional mockery, and call it helpfulness. [ She cocks a brow. ] And this is supposed to be more tempting than a meal.

[ And he wonders again if it's worth just stabbing her.

But if what he's heard about this place is true, that would give him a few weeks. Tops.

He lifts his hands. ]

I jest. Surely you don't expect me to stop that so easily, no?

I can't help you with this funny technology, but I can teach you how to lie more convincingly, and how to make it not so very obvious that you think humans are nothing more than food to you.

[ A shrug. ]

Or I can give you a bar of gold and some jewels and we can be on our way. Dragons like such things, in my world.

[ And fortunately for him, he hasn't yet sold everything he looted from the Major's bunker. ]

[ She makes a show of considering that, hand on her chin and eyes flicking to the sky-- but of course her choice is already made. Gold can be stolen from anyone. Tips, on acting human? There won't be many chances for that, if her disguise is any good at all.

Which isn't to say the gold is uninteresting. And she does have to remind Zevran of exactly who's in charge for these negotiations.

So she glances down again, and offers a very nearly nice smile. ]

I'll take both.

An excellent choice, my lady.

[ He reaches into a pocket of his light jacket with one gloved hand and takes out a shiny, shiny bar of gold. It's been brushed with urushiol.

He has to remind Onyx that he's not amenable to serving. ]

[ She can't help the way her eyes immediately fasten onto the gold, she really can't. She tends to prefer gems, but metals have an allure all of their own. The smile grows just a little, and she curbs her greed just enough to calmly stretch out a hand and take it, rather than snatch it away. ]

How obedient. [ It's practically a purr. She folds both hands over the gold, and it promptly disappears. ] And for the second part?

[ He didn't wear the leather gloves tonight. These are more washable. Just saying. ]

That part? Hmmm. That smile you had, a moment ago. It was a good smile. Better than usual. Practice it.

A start, yes? Later, I'll take you out to dinner. For educational purposes, of course. Not so I may try to bed you afterwards. I know, I know. It will be trying for me as well.

[ And later tonight, Onyx will be furiously thinking up some kind of counter measure. And scratching her hands. And probably her wrist, where she tucked the magically shrunken gold away. But until then, Zevran is perfectly safe.

She thinks for a second or two, then aims another smile at him. It's almost identical to the first, just as very nearly nice. ]

I'll try to contain my disappointment. When?

[ Fortunately, by then, Zevran will be far away. ]

Let's say a week from now. Patience is another thing you'll need to learn. The most successful humans have it.

I have patience, Zevran. [ oops, there goes the nice smile. now it's back to a nasty smirk again. but at least she's in a good enough mood to call him by his name, rather than his species! ] A less patient dragon would simply have gotten angry and killed you with no questions.

[ He folds his arms over his chest and gives her a meaningful stare, and not the innuendo-laden kind he usually gives. ]

Dragons must measure patience differently than we lesser species do. Only kill without questions when you already have all the useful information your mark could give you.

You don't have anything like all the useful information I could give you. And when, if you do, well. I will be far away, let me assure you of that.

[ with exaggerated patience: ] I know that. It's exactly why you're still breathing, you see.

[ She doesn't look particularly offended at the lecture, though. In fact, this is something of an improvement from Zevran's usual stream of innuendo. She knows better how to react to it, a least. It makes her feel more securely in charge again. ]

If you prove yourself useful enough, or likable enough, I might not kill you at all, even once you've given me all your information. I'm not entirely heartless. [ just mostly. ]

Oh, good.

[ He is, in fact, capable of speaking about things other than sex! He just prefers that people not know this. But, well...he has a feeling Onyx will underestimate him, and all other members of "lesser species," even if he doesn't strive for it. The problem is, she can kind of get away with it on account of being a dragon. That really helps. ]

I will do my best to reach your heart. Do you prefer gold or jewels?

[ Not that she'll be taking either one from him again after the rash develops. ]

[ Ah, yes. This is how it should be. She's looking exceptionally pleased, all but preening, and contemplates that thoughtfully. ]

Again: both. Though, if one really needs a higher concentration, jewels have a better shine.

[ Khisanth approves (+10). This is how gifts work. ]

Avoid eating me, and I will bring jewels to reward you for a lesson well learned. How does that sound?

[ He doesn't mention that he'll be pickpocketing half of them. She may run into the occasional angry previous owner. ]

It sounds fair.

[ It sounds delightful. At this rate she'll be richer and wiser. But if she looks too pleased about the arrangements then Zevran might start to feel too safely secured-- and she certainly can't have that. ]

I hope your lessons have some validity to them. I'll be upset if I discover you're a bad teacher.

[ upset meaning, of course, hungry. ]

Ha. Even I know better than to attempt to deceive a dragon with empty promises.

[ Spoilers: he does not. As evidenced by where his experiments with poison ivy have now ended up. ]

Good. [ she doubts it. ] You'll live longer with that kept in mind.

[ Welp, Zevran seems to have learned his lesson. So with one more adjustment to her general person, she starts back the way she'd come. ]

Contact me in a week.

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