capeandcowllogs | there is no title

WHO: Alastair and Kiryu
WHERE: Hell Towers 1006
WHEN: Sunday night
WARNINGS: none that I know of
SUMMARY: depressed boyfrands have a chat about why life sucks
FORMAT: paragraph

Alastair had already been doing a fair amount of moping and hiding, ever since the nerds invaded and he found himself unable to control his power again. He only used it to get himself safely out of the downtown area and back across the river, at which he consciously chose to release the three souls he had captured. It was good to know he had that ability, but he spent a lot of time afterward thinking about the ramifications. Then Hiruma, ever-reliable, always-there Hiruma, disappeared and didn't come back after a few days, and Alastair pretty much didn't leave his room except to go to work and eat. The only person he didn't withdraw from was Kiryu, though they weren't really talking much to each other.

Sunday evening found him yet again in the quiet hidey-hole of his room, most of the lights off and only the glow of his laptop screen showing anything. He had been searching around for information about any of Hiruma's underhanded exploits, but the guy hid his tracks so well that even a hacker of Alastair's caliber couldn't trace most of his steps. He had given up and was now idly trolling online conclaves where people were still discussing the nerdvasion, ruining the dreams of anyone who supported the movement to send Imports home. It was beyond malicious for him - he wanted anyone who held that view to pay for the loss of his friend, and everyone else he had lost. Funny cat pictures weren't enough, there were accounts being wiped and identities stolen over this.

It didn't make Alastair feel that much better, but it did pass the time.

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Kiryu didn't really feel like he was the right person to talk about feelings or help other people feel better, but he seemed to be taking on that role more often lately. Maybe it was because they didn't have Saitou around anymore--not that he'd been great at it either, but he was at least better at it. Kiryu didn't really think he was getting any better at it.

But he also really hated seeing his friends so upset, which was how he'd been ending up in this position so much now in the first place. He let Alastair have a few days to himself--Alastair had always been much closer to Hiruma than he was--but then he felt like enough was enough.

He frowned a little at the darkness as he walked into the room, but he wasn't going to bring it up. Whatever made Alastair feel better...

"Hey."

Alastair looked up and smiled very faintly. No matter what was going on, Kiryu always brightened his day, or at least his moment. Such was the power of the sappy love he had fallen into. "Hey. You're home."

Out of instinct he shut down whatever he was doing, though he left the laptop on. Utter darkness was no fun except in certain situations anyway.

"Yeah. I didn't have anywhere else to go today." And he'd been getting more and more worried, but that was not something he would admit.

He walked over to the bed and sat down next to Alastair, though a little farther away than he usually would. He wanted to be able to face him a little too. "How are you doing?"

Alastair sighed, knowing exactly what he meant. "Getting over it," he said quietly. "I don't know why I even bother sometimes. Everybody leaves sooner or later. Should've known it'd take pretty much every last person I ever considered a friend." He looked away for a moment. "Only you and Bakura are left. And Kaiba, but I get him back home." He heaved a dry, humorless laugh. "The only people left here that I care about are people from our world. One by one we're all going to go..."

He didn't sound particularly upset about it, just resigned. As if he had finally decided not to care so much every time someone got ported home. That didn't mean he wouldn't lose his mind if the Porter took Kiryu or Bakura, but...

"We're not going to leave," Kiryu blurted out, sounding almost a little too adamant. He didn't want to snap at Alastair, but after so many people had left and not come back, or kept coming and going, he was really trying not to have those thoughts himself, and it was steadily getting harder to ignore them.

And he immediately felt bad about it and looked away himself. Alastair might not look like he was upset, but how could he not be?

"If we do, it won't be for a long time," he murmured after a moment. "I'm not going anywhere. So you don't have to worry about that."

Alastair breathed a quiet sigh. He wanted to believe that, but he knew they were both only deluding themselves. It wouldn't last forever. He reached out, wanting to draw Kiryu closer to himself. "If we're gonna make crazy promises, maybe we should start with a few we can actually keep. Like, not getting so caught up in normal life and live every minute to the fullest. Stuff like that."

He didn't take the snap personally, at least. It was a sign that he wasn't alone, that Kiryu had those thoughts, too, and somehow that was a comfort. But a little tactile contact would be even more comforting.

Kiryu smiled a little and scooted over into Alastair's arms, giving him a brief, one-handed hug as well. "I do that every day. Crazy promises are my thing."

Alastair wrapped himself around his boyfriend and rested his chin on Kiryu's shoulder. "You're doing pretty good with most of 'em. Still not dead, at least." It was a grim, morbid reminder, but in that place? It was almost common and expected by now. "Not even Hiruma could say that. I'm like...the only one out of our group who hasn't died yet, aren't I? Damn..."

He laughed and shifted a little to get more comfortable. "Yeah, I've been trying with that one. Dying really sucks."

He paused, thinking about that little fact. It was true that Alastair was the only one, and with good reason, and he definitely needed to stay that way. And it was a little disturbing to think about. But...

"It felt like you did, when you lost that duel," Kiryu murmured. "Only worse, 'cause no one knew how to fix it. I really thought I'd lost you..."

"Oh yeah..." Alastair tried not to think about his failure too much. "I didn't know what would happen, either. There's no...no Leviathan, here, nowhere to permanently store souls, but...technically there shouldn't have been a way to reverse it either. Not unless someone with the same power releases the soul."

He turned thoughtful for a moment, as he sat there curled around Kiryu, but he didn't come to any new and brilliant conclusions that he hadn't before. He still didn't fully understand the mechanics of this new City-borne Oricalchos, but he was afraid to test it too much. Just in case.

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orz. i'm sorry this took so long. /o\

hiiiiiiii

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