capeandcowllogs | And you're right there, but I can't see you

WHO: Matt and anyone who is visiting him in the hospital
WHERE: A hospital...
WHEN: Backdated to Sunday night through Thursday afternoon. Please specify the time and date in your post! :)
WARNINGS: ???
SUMMARY: Matt is in the hospital and people visit him
FORMAT: Whatever you like.

Matt was pretty lousy at this sort of thing. The idea of lying still and letting people poke him and prod him and study his body never sat well with him. He didn't like having to explain away gunshot and stab wounds, or deal with the inevitable vision tests that doctors always seemed to want to perform on him. He especially didn't like that these doctors were strangers to him, people who didn't know him or know his history. He couldn't really trust these people to figure out what was wrong with him, why he'd lost his memories, or why his powers were gone.

But without his radar, he was useless. He felt so paralyzed without it, like he was broken and had no chance in the world of ever being fixed again. Now instead of being Hell's Kitchen's most feared defender he was some pitiful, strung out blind guy. It was quite a way to fall. Sure, he'd experienced a loss of his powers before, but this seemed so much more profound and terrifying. Maybe it was the not knowing how it had happened or who was responsible.

Someone had to be responsible, right? He didn't roofie himself. He didn't rough himself up. But he could remember anything since Tuesday. Whoever had done this had picked the perfect target: without his powers, he wouldn't be able to identify them anyway, with or without the drugs.

As it was now, he couldn't identify the visitors in his room, not without hearing their voices or being told they were there. He couldn't smell people, he couldn't hear their heartbeats. He could do nothing but lie in that bed and wait for some strange doctor to give approval for him to leave.

Matt was pretty sure he was going to go insane.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Calmly:]

That's a cop out. That's just an excuse, Harvey. You're just making excuses.

You're wrong. This is all I have. This is how I balance the good and the bad. There isn't anything without it.

It's just a coin.

No it's not. But it is just.

That isn't justice. That's chance.

Everything is chance. Even justice. At least it's fair. What happened to me was chance, but to someone else it was justice. They're not so different.

Aha. And what happened to me, was that justice?

Maybe.

Want to find out?

You're gonna flip the coin to tell me whether or not it was just for a twelve year old kid to get hit by a truck and blinded?

[A long pause.]

Go ahead.

You're the one that wants to know. [ Bares his teeth. ] It determines the now, not the then.

Besides.

I'm sure it was fate. If you could see, where would we be right now? You'd see what everyone else sees. Not just me, everything that's broken and corrupt in this world.

It was fate. Great. Thank you.

You think the only reason I'm letting you sit here and run your mouth is because I'm blind?

You're welcome. [ He thinks that was sincere. Because he would be appeased by it... ]

You can't tell me it isn't.

[The most frustrated sight ever.]

You really think you're a monster, huh?

Doesn't matter. I know what I am. [ Pauses... ] And I'm not stupid, either.

No one ever said you were.

I'm saying it for your benefit. You don't have to see what fate's done to me; that already makes you different. You can just listen to Harvey without ever having to see Two-Face.

But you think I wouldn't do that, even if I could see you.

No. She wouldn't have either if I hadn't helped her first. I'm not stupid.

That's pretty damn presumptive of you, thinking you won't get a fair shake just because of your appearance.

You're smarter than that, Murdock. Don't play coy. I don't think it, I know it. Maybe you could continue working and leading a regular man's life after your accident, but I couldn't. When part of your soul's exposed on your face there's nothing to do except stop pretending you can hide anymore.

Edited 2011-07-18 11:02 (UTC)

[Frustrated forever.] I already told you I'm not giving you that excuse, so stop feeding it back to me. You're not a monster. You haven't got the soul of a monster.

I'm going.

[ He growls. ]

You can't see my soul.

And you can't see mine. We're even.

[A dismissive snort.]

You gotta obey the coin, I understand.

No you don't. [ He sneers again. ] But I do. I've already stayed long enough.

Go on then.

(no subject)

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