capeandcowllogs | T-shirts, cut-offs, and a pair of thongs

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T-shirts, cut-offs, and a pair of thongs

WHO: Beach Party People!
WHERE: The MAC, the party bus, a rest stop, and the Wildwood Beach!
WHEN: Friday 11am and onward into the afternoon and evening
WARNINGS: Possible make outs? Possible fights?
SUMMARY: Teens and young adults in an RV driving to NJ to have a drunken bonfire. What could possibly go wrong???
FORMAT: OPEN! There will be sections for different locations and times of day, so feel free to tag in and collect as much CR as you like!

Jessica was beyond excited. In the days leading up to the RV trip, she barely shut up about it. Even as she boarded the RV Laura had procured for their adventure and took the shotgun seat, she could barely stop talking. It was a beautiful day in the City, and the weather reports for their destination in Southern New Jersey called for blue skies and sunshine. It would be perfect beach-going weather, and it was bound to be the perfect summer night!

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[Wow. Kanaya's shoulder is so warm! Maybe it's all that badass rainbow-drinker sun energy. Yeah, that must be it. It feels kind of nice. Vriska clings to her with one hand while waving the other a little.]

That's not true. Can't be true! Because...I can't change anyone's feelings about me. No matter what I do. People will decide how to feel about me all on their own! Like I'm some kind of puppet on spidery strings! How unfair...how unfair! Is that.

I'm not making any sense. Am I? What I'm saying is, if I make people hate me, at least I did it myself. Not my lusus or my ancestor! That's pretty important. I guess.

[What was she talking about? Her relationship with Kanaya, that was the subject, wasn't it? Nah. Talking about herself and her feelings is more important. Overwhelmingly so, as a matter of fact. At least for the moment.]

But you did better things yourself. You changed! All by yourself! I don't get it, Kanaya. I didn't think it worked like that. And of course I'm right. I'm always right. Definitely...

[She wavers.]

Aaaaaaaalways right. That was eight A's, wasn't it? Very important. Eight A's. Eight everythings. Can't do anything different.

You'd rescue me, right? If...you don't hate me. From eight anythings.

[ that the answer would be "probably" is entirely beside the point, kanaya's just getting kinda mad now ]

This is -hic- exactly the point I'm trying to make! No matter what is being discussed, it must -hic- always be reoriented to how it pertains and relates to you and no one -hic- else!

[ she pulls at her hair, there's a storm brewing in this one ]

I already have enough situations where -hic- my feelings have to be buried or ignored, couldn't any -HURK- potential matespritship be an exception to that?

[ and then there's a blinding flash as she reverts to troll form. when it finally settles into a flaring glow, reveals her to be in tears. ]

Aren't I -sobHIC- allowed to be selfish in this one aspect of my life?

[Vriska takes a step back at the flash of light, or tries to; instead she finds herself pinwheeling both arms as she attempts to keep her balance. Why is it so hard? Is she sick? The momentary lapse of concentration that it requires for her to ponder this is enough to lose her the battle, and she falls squarely onto her butt in the sand.]

I think...I think...I think.

Um!

[Oh, no. She ummed. This must be Tavros's fault! He did something to her to make her act more like him! That can't happen! Her eyes widen in terror at the thought. She'd better prove herself to Kanaya fast before whatever it is takes her completely!]

I think I should have swept you off your feet by now, Kanaya.

[She reaches out to clutch at the hem of Kanaya's sundress and pull herself slowly back to her feet--heedless, of course, of what it might do to Kanaya's balance.]

Then...you could be selfish all you wanted to be. With me.

I feel weird. Do you feel weird? Other than the glowing and the...crying, I mean...

Crying sucks. You shouldn't do that.

[Which is probably the worst possible thing she could say. The next part, though, is a little more honest.]

I wish we could just do what we want! Instead of...you know! All the rules that we still can't change. Even after ssssssssgrub. Even here.

You were doing that! Unfussying your fangs and giving the rules a good kick in the bulge. So what...what happened?

[ shit shit shiiiiiiiit all this tugging has brought her tumbling right on top of vriska! she kind of backs away defensively and sits up. the tears are still going, but she's managed to stifle the sobs ]

That's just the thing, I could never have the -hic- opportunity to be selfish. I would end up merely -hic- servicing your ego and keeping you out of trouble, there'd be -hic- nothing in it for me!

[ whoops and she's gonna start sobbing full-on again now ]

I...I thought I -hicsob- had nothing left at that point. My whole purpose in life was taken -sobHICsob- ...was taken away from me and there was only -sobHURK- one response I could find it in me to adopt.

My -hic- final duty...

[OH WOW Kanaya is awfully close now. Vriska starts a little at the tumbling, spraying sand around her as she scrambles about.]

But you still had lots of things left. Your friends! Well, not Tavros. I'd killed him. And not the ones Eridan had killed. Or the ones Gamzee had killed. But the humans were still around. And--

I don't know if it's such a bad thing that the matriorb is gone and there won't be any more trolls. We were kind of messed up, Kanaya. Maybe humans did it better. With their pathetic lack of quadrants and their terrible yet intriguing movies. And...not as much killing.

[What is she even saying! She looks around frantically.]

You don't think Mindfang heard me say that, do you? I can't...! I can't say things like that.

[She reaches out to try to grab the front of Kanaya's dress.]

If one of them finds out I said it, you'll protect me, right?

We could've been better. -hic- We might've learned with time. The new generation wouldn't -hic- have to reproduce the mistakes of our predecessors.

And I'll never be a -sobHIC- mother now... [ ;~;

she takes vriska's hands by the wrists and pulls them off of her ]

Would you -hic- stop it?! No one's going to hate you for feelings as though we've -hic- been taught to do things in a most damaging manner! It's the only -hic- idea that makes sense to me anymore!

I think we probably would've kept making those mistakes, though.

[A sniffle escapes Vriska now as Kanaya pushes her hands away.]

...I would have, anyway. I was trying really hard to. Because there wasn't any other way, you know. But--

[A bigger sniffle.]

Some of us, some of us were kind of different! And...and...!

[She bursts into tears and flops forward onto Kanaya's chest.]

You would've made a really good mother, Kanaya. Especially the way the humans thought of it. You would've been a better mother to me than my lusus ever was. I wouldn't have minded having you as a lusus, or a mother, or whatever!

[Is this the most horrible possible time for Vriska to try to kiss Kanaya? Most likely. Is this the time when Vriska does try to kiss Kanaya? You bet your ass it is.]

[ she'd finally wrapped her arms around vriska and probably would have had something to say but

what is even going on anymore

she sliiiides her head backwards in surprise ]

What--

-HIC-

What are you--

[Sniff.]

I don't know anymore! But it would...it would be pretty cool to kiss you, I thought. I just thought that. That's all.

[Because feelings! What are they even! Also, everything is kind of swimmy and they aren't even near the water.]

[ well shit, feelings, you're pretty much all over this thing. so she's just going to rest her chin on top of vriska's head ]

I...

-hic-

I never know how I should -hic- feel anymore. Especially around you. Too many -hic- directions tugging my heart around.

A part of me still -hic- loves you, Vriska, and it probably always will, but I don't think...

-hic-

...I don't know...

[It kind of feels nice. The chin thing. Maybe that's better than kissing. Just holding. Yeah. The holding is nice.]

You know. I'm starting to think. Yeah. I'm starting to think that...

That...

It would be cool if we didn't think so much about what we should feel and do. And maybe instead we just did what we really wanted.

I'm pretty sure that would be bad, though. I can't do that. You probably have some stupid reason you can't do that, too.

In the majority of instances I'm -hic- not sure what I want to do, though! Have I already -hic- said that? I feel as though I've already said that.

-hic-

But yes, I suspect everyone has such obligations and -hic- duties conspiring against them. You, myself, even Rose! But even that is -hic- unsteady ground. Tank Girl tells me that sometimes duties must be...one may have to -hic- neglect them for her own sake, but I don't know. I doubt I ever could.

She also -hic- says that some mistakes will be inevitable and instead of being -hic- afraid of them, we should embrace them and attempt to learn from them. She never did -hic- mention how not to be afraid of them.

That seems to -hic- be my response to much of her advice.

[Vriska sniffles a little.]

I'm not sure I was listening enough to tell if you said it already! Do you think I should listen to people more? Hey. Don't answer that! Don't answer that. I'm pretty sure...I wouldn't like the answer.

[More sniffles.]

Embrace mistakes? That's stupid! Mistakes are things that get you culled. That's what they are. Um, yeah. Why were we talking about mistakes? I don't make those. I don't...

I make a lot of mistakes.

[Kanaya, hope you don't mind being clung to. Vriska's at least not trying to make out with her anymore, though, so there's that.]

[ she will accept the clinging. this is just a clingy time for them right now. ]

We all -hic- do, and of the two of us, at least one -hic- has yet t be culled for it... The problem is when we b-b-b-blunder forward and repeat them again, creating some -hic- endless cycle of the same poorly thought out action for the -hic- rest of eternity.

[ she holds vriska a little tighter now ]

As an example, you really -hic- could do to listen more often. It may help you with this issue.

-hic-

[There's a long pause as Vriska tries to process that. Her brain just keeps trying to reject it like some kind of poison she's ingesting.

She tries to think of something to say about that, something Important about how she can't accept any of this because it goes against everything she's spent most of her life living up to, and even when she tries to stop that, she can only manage it for a few rushed conversations at a time before it's just too scary.]

...you're warm, Kanaya. It's nice. It's pretty nice.

[ she lets out a deep sigh...until it's interrupted with a hiccup ]

You weren't -hic-

You weren't even listening to me, were you?

I was totally listening!

[Now she's starting to sniffle again. And she'd just gotten over that, too.]

I was...I was listening. But it was scary. It was really kind of frightening!

[ kanaya pats her on the head ]

It will be for quite some -hic- time, I'm sure. It's difficult, after all, being an -hic- adolescent and growing to maturity.

[She leans into the patting a little. Why didn't she get more of this when she was little? Oh, right. Because her mother was a giant spider.]

And no one understands.

[ kanaya was taught by the best, and was lucky in that respect. grub-mom was awesome. ]

I'm beginning to -hic- believe that isn't entirely true. There are those who have -hic- lived through similar experiences, I've learned.

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T-shirts, cut-offs, and a pair of thongs

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