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WHO: Ladd Russo and Dr Franken Stein
WHERE: A fairly upmarket department store
WHEN: Mid afternoon today.
WARNINGS: Hideousness.
SUMMARY: After Ladd's successful escape attempt, he bumps into his old doctor Dr Stein. In the underwear section at a department store.
FORMAT: Quick.

[After receiving the money from the elusive Thousand for burning down some dumb, ugly science facility, Ladd had done what he always does with his money- Spend it all really quickly on things he doesn't need.]

[On today's list? Underwear. It seems that the ridiculously over expensive pairs of luxurious underwear that he had bought before just weren't enough, so he's back for some more and maybe some for his beautiful Lua.]

[Ah, and he has found the perfect pair! As he's pulling them off the rack to put into his bag, he's sure that no one is going to randomly spot him as he's purchasing woman's underwear. That would be silly!]

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[One might wonder what Stein is doing in this aisle. Hopefully he's just passing through, since he doesn't have a significant other to buy fancy underwear for.

At any rate the thing that really catches his attention in this aisle is a certain former patient. A patient who is only "former" through illegal means, and who is currently tucking away a very snazzy pair of lady's underpants. SUSPICIOUS.]

I don't think you've lost enough weight to fit into those, Ladd.

[he sounds so...nonplussed.]

[Ladd turns around pretty quickly to see... This guy. Uh. The guy with the screw in his head... He looks familiar- Then he realises what he just said. Now he remembers.]

[For now, he'll just ignore that comment, but he can't help but feel a little peeved.]

Hey, you're that doctor, ain't you? What a coincidence! I didn't reckon I'd see someone like you in such an expensive place. It's a small world, like they say!

Very small.

Don't you think it would be smarter to skip town under these circumstances?

Ah, that would be far too boring. I'm one for living life on the edge!

[He gestures a little bit, holding the underwear in one of his hands as he does so. Then he realises what his earlier comment meant.]

Oh, these are for my fiancee, by the way. I came into some money recently, so I figure I should give her some nice, new clothing. Besides, you've already seen me in my undergarments!

[He is saying this slightly too loudly for a public space.]

[Stein scratches his head, still looking a little nonplussed--but he smiles benignly at Ladd's last comment.]

Right, I remember. I was admiring a similar pair just a few minutes ago. They're not really my style though.

Really? I was just about to head over there to take a look to see if they've got any more in stock!

[Pause.]

Which way is it? I always get lost in these massive goddamn stores. Why do they make it so complicated?

I don't think they have any left in your size.

[he is so serious about this.]

Oh. It's to trick you into buying more merchandise of course.

Of course they have them in my size, considering I've bought a pair before!

[Ladd is ignoring the comments, but it's obvious that they're wearing on him.]

I never thought about it like that before. I guess they really are only after your money, huh? Explains why everything is at such a high price but also so goddamn flimsy. What a rip! But I guess I ain't got much choice in the matter.

Flimsy?...

Things from stores like this usually last longer right?

They're supposed to! But I guess they're either just not making them right or they just want you to pay more money. At least they feel nicer!

[That was totally necessary information for you to know.]

Hmm. I'm not sure the store is the problem here.

[he shrugs.]

We can go look together.

[this is a totally normal suggestion that a normal person would totally make.]

What else can be the problem? I guess the factory is the one making them, but the store still pays them for it.

[But Stein's suggestion makes him look a little cheerier!]

Sure! I always like having a conversational partner, especially if they're as intelligent as a doctor.

[And this is a totally normal response to that suggestion.]

You lead the way! I insist.

Sure.

[Stein begins to traipse in the direction of the men's underwear aisle, hands in his coat pockets.]

Should I ask what you've been up to since we last saw each other?

I'd rather you not. Nothing personal, Doctor, but you ain't my therapist!

[He's walking beside him, hands in his pant pockets in a similar fashion.]

Somehow I get the feeling you wouldn't talk to me if I was either.

[his tone of voice is totally mild, as usual, and oh look here they are in the underwear aisle.]

What a selection.

That it is!

[Ladd stoops down a little to examine the array of bizarrely expensive undergarments that fill the shelves. He stops and picks out a singular pair of wine red silk boxers and holds them up to examine.]

Hmm... Now, these look pretty nice! What do you think? There's a lot of these fancy schmancy things around here and I'm not very good about making decisions on these sorts of things.

Silk is pretty slippery right? You might slide around every time you tried to sit.

That's what I've got pants for, right? Besides, silk is comfortable enough that I'm sure I won't be too bothered if I happen to move about a bit when I'm sitting down.

[He checks the price tag!]

And they're cheap as well! Only $20!

[This price is cheap in Ladd's world for a singular pair of boxers. He is not a financial wizard.]

Is that cheap?...

They're cheap if you want quality silk! ...Then again, being so cheap, they may not be the best quality. Maybe that's why they keep goddamn breaking all of the time!

[Ladd browses through the selection again, picking out a pair of beautiful teal boxers.]

Hmmm... Now what about these ones? They're more expensive, but I don't know if I like the color.

[Yeah. This conversation is really happening.]

It certainly doesn't do much for your complexion. The red is more aesthetically pleasing.

[it's like some sort of miracle.]

Ya think? [He examines the teal pair from various viewpoints, making sure they what he's saying is true.]

Eh, I guess you're right! [He throws the pair behind his shoulder haphazardly. Someone else will pick that up.] Red was always my color, really, considering it's the color of blood. And wine. And I quite enjoy tomatoes as well!

I see.

I prefer gray or white myself.

[this is the most serious topic ever.]

You ever buy stuff as expensive as this? I can't imagine being a doctor in that hellhole pays too much!

I usually buy cheap so I can cut them up and re-stitch them without feeling bad.

But that doesn't have anything to do with my color preferences.

Why the hell would you restitch all your clothes? Ain't you only supposed to do that when they're ripped or something?

I like stitches.

Is that why you've got a big one on your face?

Naturally.

Well, I certainly appreciate a theme! A man should have always have a strong sense of style, that's what I say anyway. Mine just happens to be a more expensive sort of style.

[He returns to browsing the extensive selection of luxury men's underwear, thinking through his options.]

That being said, I won't object to buying cheaper products! I just think that if you've got the money, you've got to spend it on something nice or there's no point in having any money at all.

I guess if you like clothes that's a good way to spend it...

[sounds kinda girly to Stein though. clothes shopping.]

I put my money into other things. [like the imported cigarettes he's always smoking.]

There's lots of other ways to spend it as well. Food, cars, alcohol- Sadly, everything is so much more expensive these days! If you ask me, it was a lot easier to buy good booze during Prohibition.

Ah, the "good old days". It must be hard to adjust to modern times with so little transition time.

A lot of things are pretty upside down around here- Especially the women! But there's plenty of stuff that hasn't changed at all. I've got to say, there are things that I much prefer about this future.

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