capeandcowllogs | (no subject)

WHO:

slayerpreferred
WHERE: Buffy's place?
WHEN: This past monday? This monday? IDK
WARNINGS: Probably none... INTENSE CONVERSATIONS
SUMMARY: Angel and Buffy need to share words in a word sharing conversation
FORMAT: actionspamtastic

[ Angel still, had no idea how he was supposed to do this. It had almost been easier when Buffy came to visit him in L.A. because then at least they had argued. It had been easier to tell her to go home, that they both needed to live their own lives when their words were both too sharp and angry to try to fit any amount of warmth in-between. And warmth, for Angel, was enough of a rarity to begin with.

But now he was supposed to talk? And while he'd much rather do it face to face than over the communication devices, he didn't know if he could talk to begin with. The prospects were terrifying; Cordy's death, Connor's existence, how he could just go ahead and tell Buffy those kind of things when no one else was supposed to know to begin with? And how could he even expect her to speak to him afterward? He didn't really want to lose the one good thing he had here, but he didn't want to lie to her, either.

It was Buffy. She was different; she had always been... different.

Standing in front of the door to her apartment, Angel wouldn't be surprised if Buffy knew he was here before he even knocked. Which had nothing to do with why he was hesitating, and more to do with his continued curiosities as to how this place effected all of them. And then he was finally knocking on the door, somehow going even quieter as he waited for Buffy to answer. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Special enough that you'll forget I even offered?

[She let him wonder about that for a moment, then slowly shook her head.] It was a nice try, though.

Worth a shot.

[ There's a long pause where the humor of the moment fades and Angel goes right back to looking at her all too seriously. ] You know if you ever need anything.. No matter what.

Angel... [She went back to avoiding eye contact just as seriously, eyebrows knitting together.] I know.

[ There were so many things he wanted to say and it just hurt being here. He wanted to ask what she'd do now if he was a human, if all the things he kept fighting for even mattered. But it was hard enough with her not even looking at him. ]

Right. [ and he's slowly trying to inch his way off her couch. ] Then, I should go.

[That got her to look at him, eyes wide with all the pretense stripped away.]

You don't have to. I mean, it's up to you.

I just don't want us- [ Aaand, he freezes all over again, still looking at her. All things considered, he knew wht he wanted, and yet he didn't.

It always got so much more confusing; not that he blamed Buffy for that. ] I'm not looking for anything from this, Buffy. [ yeah that.. would always be a lie. ]

[She wrinkled her nose, knowing she had said the same thing; knowing it was a lie for them both.]

You don't want us...?

To do this again.

[She's not playing dumb, Angel. They've talked about a lot of things in a short period of time :(]

Care to be more specific?

[ He knows she's not, he just really doesn't want to talk about this.... not that he thinks Buffy does. ]

I should really just be glad that we're not fighting.

[Still not sure she follows, Buffy frowns slightly.]

I'm.. with the gladness too. Trust me. You're... You're the last person I want to fight with. Especially here.

[ He knows that too, and he's not trying particularly hard to clear up her confusion.

Which is his sneaky way of trying to divert from the topic entirely even if it's all he wants to talk about. He's just.. a problem. ]

Maybe we can actually make that much work this time.

[But Buffy's not really in the mood for his nonsense X(]

What are you getting at, exactly?

[ So mean. ;; ]

Nothing, didn't even know there was anything to get at.

You're the one who... [And this was why they always ended up fighting. Buffy just sighed, cutting herself off.] Right. Nothing.

Right. [ Because he still wanted things he couldn't have, and he turned into a sexually frustrated fourteen year old whenever she was around, that's why.

Which was his cue to leave. For real... maybe. ] I should give you the chance to save the rest of your evening.

I don't have plans. [she reiterated, taking comfort from his presence though she knew he was probably right. when he's around it's just all too easy to forget why he shouldn't stay.] But I'm glad... we had this talk.

[ Angel was pushing himself up and off her couch almost too quickly, terrified somehow that he was going to take the few seconds he had left here to rustle up the nerve to act on what exactly he wanted so badly.

And then he's standing, staring down at her, not doing a good job of being any less pathetic about this while he tried to turn it almost clinical. ] Good to see you again.

[She's frowning, fighting with herself before standing too.] You're welcome anytime. [she makes a point of saying, slowly going to him for a tentative hug, arms wrapping around his waist.]

[ That wasn't really helping matters, but he wasn't about to deny a hug, almost instinctively resting his chin on top of her head. ] Might take you up on that.

[Silently hoping he will, she nods against his chest, taking a selfish moment to squeeze him closer before she pulls back.]

Don't be a stranger.

[ There's a moment where he lifts his hand, lets it hover, every intention in the world to pull her closer or cup or face or do something to secure some sort of leverage. They could have their time here, with the populace not weighing on their shoulders and the temptation is near blinding.

But then he's turning his back, making his way for the door already hunched into his coat. ]

I never knew how to be one with you, Buffy.

I'm taking that as a compliment. [she insisted, tone slightly petulant as she wound her arms around herself and tried to keep the feeling of Angel's comforting presence.]

[ Glancing back over his shoulder, all he can look is abysmally dejected -- he wants to stay and there's nothing he can do about it, hand already on the doorknob. ]

Take it however you want to.

[ and then he's gone, before he can waste any more time hoping that by staring alone he could make wishes reality. ]