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bossisawitch.livejournal.com) wrote in
capeandcowllogs2009-03-06 12:06 pm
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[only want your pressure if it's to stop the bleedin'] [INCOMPLETE]
WHO: Nico and Teddy and possibly Billy
WHERE: In a handy-dandy abandoned warehouse
WHEN: Some nebulous time this weekend, which probably makes it both future and past dated. Will update when that's firmed up.
WARNINGS: Gothbeating, violence, possibly some language
SUMMARY: Great-Grandmother let Nico in on the secret of unlocking her personal power---EXTREME MASOCHISM!!!1one!---and Nico has enlisted Teddy's help to beat more power out of her. Literally.
FORMAT: Paragraph
The more pain you learn to take, the more power you will control.
Her great-grandmother, the Witchbreaker, had told Nico this as she'd sent a volley of ghostly blue imps to crawl and writhe and sink invisibly wicked teeth into every inch of her exposed skin. It'd been funny, the way she'd made it seem like she was doing her this great big favor by stabbing, electrocuting, and shredding her---no, maybe not funny. Funny wasn't the right word for this situation, because it wasn't something that Nico could laugh about no matter how far removed from the situation she was.
It'd never be funny because the torture that she'd inflicted had, ultimately, been for her benefit. Nico's stomach rolled and twisted painfully at the thought, a dry nausea that she'd been fighting since she'd woken up. Her chest burned weirdly, nerves tight and jangling until she felt like she'd throw up everything she hadn't eaten in the past two days. She'd tried to learn as much about the Minoru heritage as she could, coming up with next to no answers as to why she'd been born into a line of wizards and witches who put whole new spins on suffering for art.
Nico's lips twisted hard into a frown. And that was what today was all about, wasn't it? Suffering for the dark arts, pushing herself further than the Witchbreaker had just so she could feel like she could handle whatever this city threw at her friends. She hated to ask Teddy to do something like this, but...who else could she ask? Who else could she trust?
She picked nervously at her peeling nail polish, waiting for Teddy to arrive.
WHERE: In a handy-dandy abandoned warehouse
WHEN: Some nebulous time this weekend, which probably makes it both future and past dated. Will update when that's firmed up.
WARNINGS: Gothbeating, violence, possibly some language
SUMMARY: Great-Grandmother let Nico in on the secret of unlocking her personal power---EXTREME MASOCHISM!!!1one!---and Nico has enlisted Teddy's help to beat more power out of her. Literally.
FORMAT: Paragraph
The more pain you learn to take, the more power you will control.
Her great-grandmother, the Witchbreaker, had told Nico this as she'd sent a volley of ghostly blue imps to crawl and writhe and sink invisibly wicked teeth into every inch of her exposed skin. It'd been funny, the way she'd made it seem like she was doing her this great big favor by stabbing, electrocuting, and shredding her---no, maybe not funny. Funny wasn't the right word for this situation, because it wasn't something that Nico could laugh about no matter how far removed from the situation she was.
It'd never be funny because the torture that she'd inflicted had, ultimately, been for her benefit. Nico's stomach rolled and twisted painfully at the thought, a dry nausea that she'd been fighting since she'd woken up. Her chest burned weirdly, nerves tight and jangling until she felt like she'd throw up everything she hadn't eaten in the past two days. She'd tried to learn as much about the Minoru heritage as she could, coming up with next to no answers as to why she'd been born into a line of wizards and witches who put whole new spins on suffering for art.
Nico's lips twisted hard into a frown. And that was what today was all about, wasn't it? Suffering for the dark arts, pushing herself further than the Witchbreaker had just so she could feel like she could handle whatever this city threw at her friends. She hated to ask Teddy to do something like this, but...who else could she ask? Who else could she trust?
She picked nervously at her peeling nail polish, waiting for Teddy to arrive.
no subject
Philosophically he understand what is that he was meant to do, what Nico in turn was trying to do and the reasons why she was doing it; but still there was the very large, very obvious hump, the thought that I have to beat the shit out of Nico, that made Teddy feel sick and anxious and not ready for this meeting at all. In the end, though, Teddy knew -- if not him, then who? Nico wasn't only a friend, she was a friend from back home, and as much as some of the other heroes were honest and trustworthy and good, Teddy knew that kind of connection held much more meaning. A kind of unspoken understanding that he could tell Nico got too.
"Right," he said simply as the warehouse materialized out of blue light around them, Nico a dark smudge at the far end of the long empty room that turned to look at them both. He gave Billy a sideways glance and then muttered with a kind of grim moodiness: "Great, the gang's all here."
no subject
Nico gave Teddy and Billy a smile of greeting, but it was stretched thin and wan. She couldn't dredge up even that, much as she tried. It wasn't like this was a tea party that she'd invited them to, much as she'd like to pretend that it was.
This was a witch breaking. Round two. Hopefully.
"Thank you," Nico said, mostly because she didn't know what else to say. Hi, glad you showed up. Refreshments and torture devices will be in the lobby? "I owe you one for this, you know?"
Teddy looked grim, more the face of a guy going to the firing squad than a guy holding the gun.
The worst part of it was, bringing him into this, someone she knew and trusted, was what would make it effective. It was all just so twisted.
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So instead, Teddy just nodded, glancing to the side to break eye contact, before looking at Nico again more squarely. "Thank me when this is over, Nico. Not now."
He stepped towards her, but kept a wide berth -- as if somehow that distance would translate in his mind and through some mental smoke and mirrors, make this situation seem not nearly as messed up as it actually was. It didn't work. Teddy sighed.
"So," he said quietly, his hands playing with the hem of his shirt.
no subject
"So," she echoed, raising her chin to look up at him.
Somewhere along the way, Nico had forgotten exactly how big Teddy was. It was a hell of a thing to forget. He was tall and muscular and yeah, okay, usually just as much of a softie as his bear nickname, but Teddy deserved every inch of his 'Hulkling' moniker, too. And she had just asked him to beat her senseless.
When had this seemed like such a good idea?
Nico swallowed hard, hoping that he couldn't hear the way her heart was trying to slam its way out of her chest. She'd planned for this, steeled herself for it. She'd even picked out clothing that was loose and dark and wouldn't be missed if it got too ripped or bloodstained.
This was for her family.
She took a deep, cleansing breath.
"Hit me."
no subject
After a moment his face softened into something much more apologetic as he took a step closer, standing in front of her now with his shoulders slouched. "And you and me?" he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up into an almost sad looking smirk. "We're not Tyler friggin Durden, last I checked."
Up close, Teddy was struck by now slight Nico suddenly seemed -- how thin her arms were, the delicate bone structure of her face, how far she had to tilt her head to look up to him. It made him uncomfortable to know that in a few minutes, she'd seem smaller still. It made the reality of what he was supposed to do to her all the more clear. He frowned again. When he spoke again, his voice was lowered into a whisper, even though there was nobody there to keep secrets from.
"We need. We need a word or something." His frown deepened.
no subject
This time, she all but had to beg for it. No, she wasn't so crazy that she wanted to hurt like this. Nico didn't want the power or the cold confidence that went with it. It was large and way scarier than even getting beat up by Teddy could ever be. All she wanted was the assurance that is anything happened, she would be ready for it. She could tap down deep into that well of darkness to and pull out whatever she needed.
And if something came at them that was bigger and badder than she could handle, then she had to know there was nothing she could have done to prepare for it. If something came at her that she couldn't defeat even after all this, then there would be no guilt in losing.
Nico balled her hands into fists at her sides, bitten nails digging into her palms.
"'No' and 'stop' aren't gonna work. You'll---you'll have to ignore that. How about something stupid, like...poodle. The safe word is poodle."
no subject
Sighing, Teddy lifted his shoulders and then rolled them, tilting his face up towards the blown out ceiling of the warehouse and breathing steadily. He let his eyes fall shut, trying to concentrate not on the gross, twisted-up feelings he had worming away inside, but rather the physicality of his own body, how it felt when he changed. He almost didn't want to open his eyes again, to have to look down at Nico (so much smaller, he was right, then before), but Teddy could hear her breathing, could feel the promise that he'd made her clawing away already at his conscious, and so he did, tilting his head to one side to look at her questioningly, as if to say are you ready. When he raised his hand towards her, resting it lightly on her shoulder, a whole section of her torso seemed to disappear beneath his fingers.
"This. It's for a good reason, right?" Teddy asked then, quietly.
no subject
This was going to hurt so bad.
He was the biggest, meanest, greenest brick wall possible, even with his face all screwed up with his own uncertainty.
Breathe in, breathe out. You give as much as you get. That was the fundamental rule for almost every kind of magic---even in hocus pocus, there was no such thing as a free lunch. It was accepting that fact and thriving on it that would open up the dam.
Teddy's presence was large and warm, and any other time she might have found herself really liking him. He was a genuinely good guy. A good friend. He kept his word, even when he didn't want to. How could you not respect a guy like that? It was too bad he played for the other team and Nico wasn't sure she was capable of romantic games to begin with.
Breathe in, breathe out. It was all about control. If she kept herself centered, she could do this.
"It's for the best reason I can think of," Nico said finally, evenly. "Don't pull your punches, Teddy."
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Because Teddy was a nice guy and he had made a promise and nice guys like him didn't break promises like these. Even when they wanted to. And boy, did Teddy want to.
The longer that he stared at her, the more that the thoughts about these things, the more of Teddy's sadness seemed to fall away, and even though it didn't really disappear (it simply moved to another place, away from his face), his expression eventually grew harder, more resolved. Until Teddy realized his hands were now clenched to fists at his sides and his breath was coming hard through his nostrils -- barely under control.
He took a step forward, raising his hand slightly, his face faltering into regret for only a moment as he blurted out (barely loud enough for Nico to hear): "I'm so sorry, Nico."
And then Teddy hit her.
no subject
Some little voice in her head had been so sure that he'd chicken out at the last minute and say that he couldn't do it. She had mentally prepared herself for that, thought up backup plans and other methods of hitting that terrible high note she was looking for. She'd even tempted herself a couple times by thinking that if Teddy couldn't do it, maybe it wasn't meant to be---maybe she wasn't meant to push herself that far.
But Teddy was just too good and morally-bound.
His fists were even bigger than they looked when she was up close and personal with them. All of the air left Nico in one pained woof; she doubled over instinctively and crumpled. Tears sprung to her eyes, bitter---she'd skipped on the mascara today for JUST that reason---but she managed to bite down on the groan that wanted to claw its way up her throat.
Breathe in, breathe out. Her lungs were momentarily paralyzed, so dampening down the pain was a struggle. The aim of the game was to feel nothing. No anger, no sadness, no pain: she was just a conduit for the Staff, an extension of it.
When her breath came back, it was ragged. Hulkling was aqueous in her vision, but she stared him down stonily.
"Harder," she hissed.
no subject
This, he realized in that moment -- this was the hard part. Because as difficult as it was to hit Nico the first time, having to do it again almost felt unimaginable. Especially now that he could see the results of his handiwork all over Nico's face, had heard it in his ears and was now watching it dangle a few inches from the floor. It made his stomach reel, but still Teddy looked Nico levelly.
In the back of his mind, he was still very aware that Billy was somewhere there with them, watching. Perhaps searching for that moment when Teddy would start to buckle, show signs of hesitation, something that would indicate to Billy that this was at least half of the really bad idea that they had all thought it was. And when that happened, Teddy knew that Billy would make him stop. Rather than allowing himself to openly falter, Teddy glared a bit longer a Nico, his free hand clenching and releasing like a pulsebeat at his side. Conviction, that was all that he needed, and he had it, but it kept slipping away from him every time he pulled back his arm to take that second swing.
So instead of taking that second swing, Teddy paused to remind himself exactly why he was bothering to spend his Saturday afternoon doing something so royally fucked up. He thought about what he would do if he was in Nico's position -- if he had an opportunity to try and protect the things that he wanted and cared for and loved. How far he would go. How many things he would pull down or destroy to keep those things safe -- even himself.
He thought about Wanda and how she had unmade the universe to make Billy and Tommy. And he thought about Billy and the Warden how hard he tried to want the bastard dead. He thought about Sarah.
And when he did, Teddy's fingers found the will to make a fist again. And when he hit Nico a second time, he didn't regret it.
no subject
She wondered how much further that'd push her. Not enough. She was still grounded, still attached to her body and the pain.
There was a plateau. It'd taken her feeling like she was being ripped in a million different ways at once with her great-grandmother, but she'd hit it: she'd hit that plateau and everything else had faded away. There hadn't been anything. It was the closest to being dead that she'd ever felt, ever known was possible. She hadn't even been glad or relieved when the Witchbreaker had let her go with her Staff. There hadn't even been a sense of accomplishment until later, when she'd crashed back in their rightful time and gotten the shakes and adrenaline to a point where she'd been scared---and then, swiftly, glad that she could still feel scared.
There had to be a way to get past that peak. The first step was in the cold flatness of Teddy's voice, the second in the fist slamming into her stomach again. Nico coughed up blood this time, the inside of her mouth coated with the taste of fresh pennies. The Staff of One pushed against her chest experimentally, a creaking weight against the inside of her ribs that wanted to get free now that she'd shed some blood for it. She pushed back, though, sucking hard on the inside of her cheek to keep from calling it.
Not so long ago, she'd been so normal. Wonderfully normal. She'd been raised with good Christian morals by parents who did good normal things like worry about her music choices and levee Oprah's sagacious teachings against her lukewarm attempts at rebellion. Nico had gone out on dates every once in a while, wondered which college she'd go to, planned out her life, and complained loudly every time her parents got together with their rich friends and shoved her off to play with the other kids.
Her life had done so many kinds of plot twists and turns it would have made M. Knight Shyamalan sort of jealous. She knew what her responsibilities were, and she'd failed them way more than she liked.
Not anymore. Never again. Not if she could help it. Nobody would get hurt, and nobody would die. The Runaways were her family, and she'd do anything.
"Again," she rasped. "I can take it!"
no subject
He wanted, in that moment, to hate Nico for bringing him here in the first place, for relying on him and trusting him, for so many things. None of these things, of course, were actually Nico's fault; so much of their lives just were -- regardless of blame. But still, Teddy needed a way to make swallowing his own guilt a bit easier, and since there were alone, far away from anyone and anything else -- it fell to Nico, and fell hard. So Teddy tried and, oh god, did he come close, but in the end it wasn't possible. It wasn't him.
He simply felt hard inside, but only because he knew he had to be and in a way that felt barely held together by the knowledge of what he had to do. It was like the way his body grew scales and armor and plates of bone over every one of his knuckles, and Teddy knew his emotions needed to be covered in the exact same way -- protected, unshatterable -- at least for as long as was necessary to get the job done. Whether or not it was possible, whether he'd hold out long enough, Teddy didn't know, so rather than waiting for that moment to happen, he lunged forward again and grabbing hold of both of her shoulders, threw her towards the nearest wall.
The impact made a dull cracking noise as the plaster split and cratered slightly, Nico dropping heavily to the floor as Teddy growled out an angry: "You have no idea."
no subject
Teddy definitely wasn't pulling his punches. A sob tore out of Nico before she could reign it in. She curled up instinctively, rational thought slammed down into gasping, ragged thoughts. It took about thirty seconds before she could fight through it and push herself back up. Nico wiped her bleeding mouth off with the back of her hand, leaving a stain of pinkish saliva.
Teddy was still staring at her steadily, fists clenched. She panted wetly. Seeing Hulkling from the point of view that his enemies saw him in was a little bit disorienting when superimposed with the gentle guy she'd come to know. It was hard to negotiate her feelings about this when the whole aim of the game was not to feel at all.
Nico straightened, eyes flashing briefly.
"Is that it?"