ROOMBA FIGHT

[out_of_time]

WHO: Jack Bauer, Ned, NPC bad guy
WHERE: An abandoned Roomba factory. Yes, a Roomba factory.
WHEN: Backdated to Friday evening.
WARNINGS: Cartoon violence?
SUMMARY: Remember this? With Ned's help, Jack is ready to confront the source of the horror: ROOMBA-MAN.
FORMAT: Quick

[Thanks to Ned having a word with the deceased Roomba victim and a lot of follow-up investigation, Jack had managed to deduce three key facts. 1. Someone was modifying and controlling robotic vaccuum cleaners for crime. 2. They were operating from this factory. 3. His life had officially become ridiculous.]

[But right now he and Ned had a job to do. He'd brought Ned along to confirm the scant chain of evidence which led them to this place. Crouched by the building's rear door, Jack looked at Ned.]

Ready?

Comments

[stressbaking.livejournal.com]

[Ned is already following closely and he just barely reminds himself to nod in the shadowy creepiness the building cast onto the street.] Ready as I'll ever be.

[out_of_time]

All right. Stay behind me. [With that, Jack kicks open the door. His voice rises above the bang as he moves into the building with his pistol drawn.]

City Police Department, we have a warrant!

[No immediate response. But Jack can see from the dust- or lack thereof- that this is no abandoned building. He speaks quietly to Ned, hungry for more information.]

If you found out anything else that we could use, now's the time to tell me.

[suckshard.livejournal.com]

[There's no response, but though the lights are off and none of the conveyor belts and various machinery are currently working, the place is clearly spic and span! There are a few SUSPICIOUS CRATES stacked on the margins of the large room they're walking into, and a giant map of the City tacked on the wall with various sections highlighted and circled in crazy person-looking red marker. It appears unoccupied, however, and quiet. Too quiet.

So when a chorus of whirring and buzzing sounds starts to break through the silence, that's totally a relief! Right? It grows louder as a series of green lights emerge in the shadows.]

[stressbaking.livejournal.com]

[Ned jumps a bit though he has no intention of running out in front of Jack or anything like that. Stay behind the man with a gun, he's good at that.] All he said was Roombaman... Unless he was saying, Roomba, man. You know, with a comma. Ei-either way, this is our lead.

[out_of_time]

Yeah, I think you're right. [Given what they already know, Jack can imagine what is coming towards them from the shadows.]

Ned, get on top of something. Get off the floor! Now! [Jack demonstrates by jumping on top of a stack of wooden pallets. If they're about to be attacked by killer Roombas, they should be safe as long as they're not on the ground, right?]

[stressbaking.livejournal.com]

[He scrambles on top of a few boxes, trying to follow Jack's orders as quickly as possible but he's tall and gawky and just barely makes it :( But now he is distractedly looking for a makeshift weapon of some kind.]

Death by Roomba is probably a lot more terrifying in practice than in theory. [He's pretty sure they're about to find out.]

[suckshard.livejournal.com]

[Jack is mostly right! Part of that nice whirring sound is being created by the fact that each roomba has a set of sharp, serrated razor blades spinning around its circumference. They're decidedly headed towards them, however, because you better believe that those suckers have heat sensors. Once they bump into the assorted crates and boxes, the blades begin to slice away at them, but although this is fairly effective they're not working that fast. NO BIGGIE.

However, Jack and Ned will notice that five roombas out of this massive fleet are larger than the rest and much bulkier on top, with a strange rounded construction that serves no immediate purpose.

Until one unfolds to reveal a chainsaw, and the others follow suit.]

[out_of_time]

You can't be serious.

[Roombas are trying to kill them with chainsaws. This is serious. Jack starts shooting the closest Roomblades, trying to work through them before the Roomsaws reach his perch. As he takes them out he analyzes them, trying to figure out how the hell something like this even works.]

It looks like they're using thermal sensors! If we can hide from them, they might not notice us.

[Which means they either need to lower their own body temperature, or make the factory much much hotter.]

[stressbaking.livejournal.com]

[Ned glances around for something to start a fire with, eyes wide.] Jack... [He takes a breath and gestures for the other man to hop back as he pulls a book of matches out of his pocket. May as well add arson to his list, I mean really, why not? It should be apparent he's going to light the pallets up he second Jack is clear.]

[out_of_time]

[Reckless destruction of property in a desperate situation? Jack's all for it! Especially because when he yells into his radio for backup he only gets static- maybe the Roombas are putting out some kind of interference. He puts away the radio, shoots a couple more Roomblades, then gets ready to jump.]

Do it, do it now!

[suckshard.livejournal.com]

[Jack used shooting at inanimate objects! It's actually super effective! The smaller Roomblades are the easiest to handicap, and they start rolling around in wide circles, sparking and making sputtering electric noises. The big ones, on the other hand, are coming on in for the kill! Momentum makes them move faster as they power towards Jack and Ned, but also towards the highly flammable area of pallets and crates.

And then there's a put-out, slightly nasal voice from somewhere high above.]

Oh, come on!

[stressbaking.livejournal.com]

[Ned drops the match and looks up, peering into the dark recesses of the lofty ceiling. Arson was one thing, but murder wasn't high on his list of things he'd be willing to do for the general good. Cue terror face.]

Where is he? I can't see... anything, really.

[out_of_time]

[Fortunately, Jack has never been murder-averse when it comes to people trying to kill him and civilians with robot minions. He shouts upward anyway, as a formality.]

C.P.D! Turn off your machines and show me your hands, now! Or we will use force!

[He immediately turns to Ned, not expecting surrender from someone this far gone.] It dosen't matter where he is, the smoke will drive him out.

[There's a whirring screech as one of the Roombsaws starts cutting into Jack's pallet-stack, chips of wood flying onto the floor. Jack shoots it, but there are more right behind it. Jack umps for dear life as Ned's match starts to do its work among the cardboard and dry wood...]

[stressbaking.livejournal.com]

[Ned coughs pointedly, the sleeve of his jacket coming up to protect the smokey assail on his lungs.] We need to get out of here. [He points out s-so astutely, actually reaching out to put a brief hand on Jack's shoulder before beginning his brave descent toward the exit. As smoke starts to fill the space, however, he becomes even more blind, stumbling to freedom as quickly as he can make it out.]

[suckshard.livejournal.com]

[Oh man, that rising smoke is not pleasant.]

Force? Force? I'll show you how to use force, you cretins! Who do you think you are, coming here--

[A RRRRRRRRR sound starts in the background, accompanied by some clanging noises.]

--wrecking my things--

[It grows louder and louder, to almost a dull roar.]

--trying to obstruct justice--!!

[LOUD... CRASHING... NOISE...]

[out_of_time]

[Jack grabs Ned's arm, trying to guide him out of the fire and toward the nearest exit. MUST SAVE TERRIFIED CIVILIAN.]

Stay close to me. We can't get separated here.

[At least the fire appears to be working- the thermally-guided Roombots are leaving them alone. But what the heck is Roomba Man up to there?]

[stressbaking.livejournal.com]

Justice... [Ned coughs again, following after Jack quickly now that he has someone to lean on.] Will he be okay? [Only Ned would wonder about the fate of their murderer.]

[out_of_time]

He'll be fine. If he can build vacuum cleaners for murder, he can get out of a damn fire. [Ned will have to be concerned for both of them because Jack is clearly not giving it much thought. He lets go of Ned's arm for a moment to wrap a handkerchief around his nose and mouth for the smoke before resuming his guiding. Almost there...]