capeandcowllogs | I want to search for her

WHO: Willow and Tara
WHERE: their apartment
WHEN: sometime after the whole Buffy is gone and Skrulls are here revelation!
WARNINGS: None that I can think of? Will update.
SUMMARY: The world seems to have gone crazy... which is their standard but, still. This calls for a private moment between the girls over dinner.
FORMAT: Quick

[There was something surreal about watching the world around her fall into paranoia and despair and not having a certain blond Slayer here. Tara can see it so clearly in her mind; all of them sitting together brain storming. They'd come up with something that resembled solid plan and through a lot of improvising the day will somehow be saved. Moments like these were when Buffy and the rest of the Scoobies by association shined brightest, Tara thought.

Buffy was gone though. The Scoobies were down to just two witches. Tara wasn't sure where they could fit into things here. All she did know for certain was that she had little intention of leaving Willow's side until this blew over. If it did.]

Baby... [Tara calls out from her spot by the stove. She's trying to make a spaghetti dinner for the two of them.]

Do you want some garlic bread or mashed potatoes with this?

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*Willow's been trying to do some reading online. Productive is good, right? It's distracting, and goodness knows that she needs to be distracted a little bit lately. Whether or not it's working is debatable, but it's something.

She's quick to shut her laptop and join Tara in the kitchen.*

You need help? 'Cause either of those sound pretty good, but I feel sorta lame not participating at all.

[Tara perks up once Willow joins her in the kitchen. Just having her around was enough to lighten the mood around here.]

I could use a good masher. I think I go a little too easy on the potatoes.

Well, that I can definitely do. I mean, I'm not so much with the culinary ability, but potato-mashing is definitely feasible.

*A big smile. Things don't seem so overwhelming when they were having their semi-silly them time.*

[Tara laughs.] Then the job is yours.

Perfect. Useful time is good indeed.

*So she'll get right to it.*

[Tara simply cooks for a few moments before glancing at Willow.]

How are you holding up?

I've -- y'know, I've been better.

*Siiigh. Smile.*

But it's gonna be... okay.

[Tara nods.] Of course it'll be okay. [She can't leave it there though.]

We can talk about it. If something is getting to you.... I just think we should be talking about it. Both of us.

[The world has gone insane without the Slayer to set it right. To say Tara was worried was an understatement.]

Mostly I'm just -- I'm worrying. Kind of a lot.

*Big deep breath.*

And it feels strange and wrong and I don't know what's gonna happen, and that's also... really not good.

*Nervous laughter, now.*

[Tara places a hand on her shoulder.] We'll stick together. That's the only way we're going to get through this.

*Willow tries for a smile.* Yeah. Together's the thing to do. Definitely really is, and we'll -- we can do it.

*Together means she's a little less afraid of herself.*

[She lifts her hand and gently runs it through Willow's hair.]

What are you so afraid of? Getting taken away or...? [Fill in the blanks please?]

That, that's -- part of it, yeah.

I'm afraid of what could happen. I just don't know if it can be made okay, and it needs to be.

And I think I'm also afraid of -- *Her voice drops.* y'know, what I might do. If and when the going gets tough. Which is seriously selfish and unhelpful, but.

You think... you'd take things too far? [The Willow at this moment wouldn't but, they both knew that would change eventually. Unfortunately.]

I think -- I don't trust myself enough to know what I would or wouldn't do.

We're prepared this time. Between what Buffy and I have told you... you know there's a line. You know you can cross over it if you're pushed hard enough so just don't.

Remember who you are right now and hang onto that no matter what this city throws at us.

*She's reaching for one of Tara's hands to hold onto now.* I'll try. As hard as I can, maybe even harder.

*Then, almost anxiously:*

What about you? How's all of this... what are you feeling?

Overwhelmed. [She gives a tiny shrug.]

If Buffy was here I know things would work themselves out. Without her... I don't want to doubt the others but, I don't feel good about this. It's going to get messy.

There always was, y'know. A certain sense of we-can-do-it with her. Now it's... yeah. Not so definite.

I know we're all supposed to be in this together but, it doesn't feel that way. I mean with Buffy we could pull in anyone to get the job done. We could put everything aside.

[They had Spike join the group for crying out loud. Though Tara had no grudge against him. He did his part to protect Dawn and showed her the truth about her heritage. It's the principle of it.]

Everyone here... they all just seemed to turn on each other the second they had an excuse to.

*A heavy sigh.*

Sometimes I think this place just brings out the worst in people. A lot of them are so... something that they can't just help each other. Which isn't at all good.

I agree. They get so caught up in their differences and all the drama from their own dimensions... which is fine normally. Just not now.

[She's sighing too.] Do you think there's anything we can do to help them?

I --

*Frown. Well, there might be. But she's not going to do it, or suggest it, or even think about it too hard.*

I think if we do whatever we can, it must count for something. Both in a getting-things-done way and maybe a showing-examples way, maybe.

Setting a good example might count for something. Maybe we can set some of them at ease that way.

[She's grasping at straws. Tara just wants to believe in them.]

Yeah. Like... "look! You don't have to be angry with each other, you can do things like this!"

Or something like that.

*Doubtful, maybe, but hopeful.*

It's a good start. [She reluctantly let's go of Willow to stir the pasta.]

Maybe that's all we can ask for right now.

*Yes, right, potatoes that need to be mashed, too.*

Sometimes that's -- yeah. There's not a lot of other choices.

[Tara smiles as she glances over at her.] Thanks for talking this out with me. I really needed to... you know.

[Hear her perspective? It does make her feel better about it.]

*Tara's smile makes Willow smile, too.*

Of course, baby. I'll always.

I want to search for her

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