capeandcowllogs | (no subject)

WHO: Charlie and May (Misfit and Spider-girl)
WHERE: A random rooftop in the city.
WHEN: Late at night on Monday, the 5th.
WARNINGS: Teenage angst?
SUMMARY: Charlie has been avoiding May because she kinda blew up her double and feels really guilty about it.
FORMAT: Para to start, then whatever.

Charlie was perched on the edge of one of the taller rooftops in the city, her feet tucked up under the edge beneath her and her cape fluttering behind her in the breeze that always seemed to wrap around the upper reaches of the city. She'd been out patrolling but hadn't really accomplished much, a statement that could have applied to almost anything she'd done in the last two weeks. She was faking it well enough, she hoped, but she knew she was just going through the motions of things.

Every time she had a free moment though, her mind would flare up the look on the Skrull May's face when she'd grabbed her, the moment she'd done something she'd sworn she wouldn't do, and bounced a living, breathing person.

Absently her gloves ran over her arms, brushing away the after-memory of feeling the skrull burst in her arms, the wave of viscera, seeing the shock on Spider-man's face even with his mask on...

She tried to shove the thought away and sighed. So much for patrolling to clear her mind.

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For all the jokes she made about the superhero checklist, May couldn't help but note that none of the cliches were any easier to go through just because they were cliches. Soap Operas might have nothing on the Spider-family, but just because clones were common and dimensional travel nearly mundane to the experienced cape didn't make having your own clone any easier or not being able to return home any more bearable. Cliches didn't teach you how to keep going. Just that they happened.

It wasn't much of a surprise that finding out she'd been replaced by a skrull for a weeks wasn't any different. It wasn't as though she were missing memories when it came to her friends and loved ones, here. That time, as far as she was concerned, just didn't exist. But the actions of the one that had been there in her place did. What else could she do, then, but take on those actions as her responsibility to deal with the consequences of? She was the one who'd let herself get snatched, after all.

So after a week of being avoided, May finally got over her own dread over the conversation and went in search of Charlie. Whatever the skrull had done, it was better if she knew. Then May could at least feel the appropriate amount of horror to go along with her guilt when she thought about it. She landed on the rooftop almost noiselessly, and stayed a good dozen feet away from the other superhero as she called out.

"Hey."

Charlie almost left. For one thing, she hadn't actually noticed May arriving, but that wasn't entirely unusual given the spider habit of being unnervingly silent. But besides that, she just...didn't know what to say to the other girl. She'd been avoiding her all week, really, and with what amounted to good reason, she thought.

Still...she managed to catch herself, letting her hands drop to the edge of the roof, gloves gripping the stone hard enough she could feel the pinch through the thick material. She didn't look back as she answered, though her voice was relatively normal, she hoped.

"Hey."

Well, the first major hurdle was covered. For the moment at least. Having an anti-touchy feely cousin with teleportation had taught her just how hard serious conversations could be when the other person could leave for Argentina at a moment's notice during them. But Charlie was at least willing to give her enough time to get the first few sentences out. May more or less slunk a little closer to the other woman, nearing the building edge.

"I'm sorry."

She was sorry.

Charlie had no idea what to say to that, though she half-turned, suddenly surprisingly angry, and caught herself before she shouted something...she didn't even know what. Was she angry at May? She'd been assuming she was upset, distraught...but maybe she was angry.

If May had just not gotten kidnapped, none of this would have happened and Charlie wouldn't have had to kill that Skrull. It...made sense, in a twisted sort of way, but the moment the thought entered her head she knew it was wrong, too.

After a couple seconds, the fire that had flared there in her blue eyes faded and she slumped slightly in her spot, turning back to look out at the city again.

"It's not your fault."

"I'm a superhero. There's a hundred imports in the City who it wouldn't have been their fault."

Despite the urge to run a hand through her hair, the mask was a god send in moments like these. It let her stare out over the City and really look like she was in control here. Calm, composed. Not on the edge of freaking out over how, ever after years on the job, she was still this person. Still here, messing up and hurting those she cared about.

"I should know better."

"You and everybody else," Charlie sighed. "I mean, it was like...a couple big superhero types and some kids and some random people and one of those Hogwarts dudes. And Sherlock Holmes. How freakin' weird is that?"

She trailed off and shook her head. "Nobody could even tell. I-" She frowned. "I couldn't tell."

She glanced back at May for a moment after she said that, her eyes slightly narrowed in her mask, considering her friend. She knew it was her, it had to be her...the skrulls were gone.

"You can sit down if you want," she forced herself to say it before she turned back to the view.

May hesitated for a brief moment, then moved over to crouch next to Charlie in typical spider fashion. Sitting normally just wasn't something that was done, when it could be helped.

"They're supposed to be undetectable...but kidnapping? I seriously have a power dedicated to that not happening to me. It was just- I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Charlie had nothing to say to that, oddly enough, so...she said nothing. She just sat there, quietly, for what felt like an eternity. The moment kept replaying in her mind...the skrull attacking spider man, Charlie stopping it, Spider-man's look of shock even through his mask at what she had done...

Damn it she was crying again.

She pressed her hands into her eyes, sucking in a deep breath to try and ward it off.

May hesitated for a long moment, pretty sure she was making this situation worse. The only thing that kept her from just jumping off the ledge and sparing Charlie...whatever this was she was causing her, was the fact that if Charlie didn't want to be here she wouldn't be. Bouncing was the ultimate conversation ender.

Rather than fumble through another apology, May finally just moved, wrapping her arms around the other woman and resting her chin on her shoulder.

That little motion seemed to break Charlie, and for a moment the crying got worse, her hands pressed into her eyes still, hard enough that she could feel the contours of her gloves under her eyelids, hard enough that it hurt.

Eventually though, it settled, whether she was in control or she'd just run out of tears was hard to guess. She just leaned against May, trying to gather herself up, trying to gather her thoughts up, and mostly failing.

She finally sucked in a long, deep, slightly ragged breath. "I killed you. Her. It." Each word was a little stronger but somehow less forceful. "S-he...it was attacking Spider-man, and I knew, I knew I couldn't stop her, not just by fighting her, so I..." Her words were stuttered, broken up, coming out in a jumble of pauses and repeats.