capeandcowllogs | it's the path of least resistance

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it's the path of least resistance

WHO: Max & Dick (a Batwoman & a Batman)
WHERE: a school playground
WHEN: early (early) morning 4/26
WARNINGS: violence against plants
SUMMARY: Awkward Batfamily teamups! and carnivorous plants
FORMAT: prose to start because this chunk of words would be hard to read small. whatever you want from there!

Carnivorous plants.

Yup.

Max had read the old newspaper reports and stories, so it wasn't like the idea was foreign to her. (Poison Ivy had really pulled a number with them several times back in Mr. Wayne's day.)

But still, this was definitely one of the weirder things she'd had to deal with since she got here. She hadn't been meaning to go looking for the plants - it wasn't her area of science and she didn't have any special weed-killing tools in her suit. It seemed like the sort of thing best left to people who actually knew how to approach carnivorous dog eating plants.

And that list of people didn't include her.

But she'd been swinging past a school on her usual patrol route when she'd heard the tell tale rustle of plants searching for food. (How had that become a familiar-ish noise already.) And upon checking close there they were, a random patch of evil plants smack in a school playground. Perfect. She stopped and dropped to the courtyard next to the playground. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she thought over what she had on her. There was probably something that she could use to handle this. Right?

There was no way she was going to call for backup to beat plants.

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[ Getting his hands on a sample is a given. And kind of an obligation when you really get down to it, whether or not it ends up being one of those porter-inflicted black holes - a mystery without an answer and nothing to pull it together. Crazy maybe monster terroizing innocents; it's up to Batman to make the effort to come to rescue.

He's passing the playground in the first place mostly to scan for the kid he'd found the other night on the off chance he hasn't gone and gotten himself help like he'd said he would. He's not looking for the plants, and not entirely ready when the noise picks up over the comm mic. A quick flip and he's down on the ground with the blowtorch out in his hand, and that's when he catches Batwoman in his peripheral. ]

Figures you'd pick the same pumpkin patch.

[ Ah. Well. Shit. Definitely not the person she wants to see her failing at figuring out how to corral plants. She hastily takes her hand down from the bridge of her nose, trying to look like she's got this under control.

Why couldn't he have happened upon her taking down a mugger or something? Considering that the only time they'd talked or seen each other recently was her overreaction to Ghost's disappearance, this was definitely not the next impression she wanted to make on him. ]

Yeah, figures.

[ Beat. A glance down at his hand, and she raises an eyebrow. ]

You look prepared.

[ He wastes a half-second trying to decide if she's making fun of him, then glances down at the blowtorch and then back at the plants. ]

Ever see Alien?

Nope. [ She turns to stare at the plants instead. Electricity? Maybe. ]

Fire seems reasonable, though.

[ Well for that he'll reach for the spare on his belt and then hold it out, a little like a peace offering. ]

I need a sample for the cave.

[ oh! Uh. That's pretty cool. She takes it with a smile. ]

I can lend a hand if you'd like.

Must be a slow night. [ But he's grinning under the cowl while he straightens up again and scans the patch. ]

...Ookay. So we need a baseline to work with if we want to find out where they came from. We only need one, which means we don't need to waste time making all of them angry. You with me so far?

Maybe, maybe not. [ She grins back, pleased, and turns her attention to the plants. ]

So far so good. It would be best if we could find one a little isolated from the pack, yeah?

Yeah. But unfortunately it doesn't look like that's happening with this pack. At least not without a whole lot of workup first. [ Max gets a bit of a sideways look. ]

You up for some distraction duty?

They do seem to be a pretty tight-knit bunch. [ she glances back, pleased. ]

Sure. Where do you want me?

[ His instinct says to put her further away. Put her back where she won't run the risk of getting one of those things imbedded in her thigh. Only that also means maybe breaking a few unspoken rules of this almost team-up.

He really does need to trust her on this, doesn't he. ]

Set off a flare and then follow it that way? [ He points to the thickest part of the patch. ] If you can stay airborne getting all the way past shouldn't be an issue. And I'll have just enough time to grab what we need.

[ If she knew what he was thinking, she'd appreciate his respect for the unspoken rules here. Trust, he had said after all, was a two-way street. ]

You got it. [ she readies the flare, and then flashes him a grin. ] Staying airborne won't be a problem.

Good luck. [ Firing the flare, she takes off, flying low and trying to keep her speed slow enough to present at least a slightly viable target, just out of reach of the plants. ]

[ And he's out of time to second-guess himself. He fires up the blow torch again and takes a flying leap towards the opposite side of the patch, aiming for one of the low liers already stretching out a thin reedy neck blindly in Max's direction. He goes for a fast cut and misses, then has to jump back to avoid the snapping jaws of two, three, and four. Damn it. ]

Guess that would have been a waste of some good banter anyway. How's your six, Batwoman?

[ She drops to the ground on the other side of the plants, turning back to look at him, and flings a batarang at a questing plant stem. The plants pull it down. ]

Uh, okay! Want me to make another pass? [ These things are kind of creepy really. But there is no way she's backing down. ]

Try one more. [ Like hell is he going to be the one to call in more reinforcements for plants. ] I'll get it this time.

Got it. [ And she spreads her wings and heads across again, slower and lazier this time in an effort to give him more time, kicking in her jets at the last second to get gain speed and get over the patch. ] Does anyone even know where these things came from?

That's what I'm looking to find out. [ If the blowtorch isn't strong enough to phase them, maybe a flash grenade will do the trick. He twists far enough to use the cape to funnel the bright light, mostly in the interest of not blinding Max. No time to wait, he dives in again and grabs one of the stems with a gloved hand, cuts with the blowtorch and hears the hissing rustle rising up from patches around him. He jerks his arm back, not quite fast enough to stop the teeth already sinking through the armor on his calf. ]

[ She looks back to see the plant going for him and yells a too-late warning, following it up with a batarang thrown in an attempt to get it off his leg even as she lands and runs back towards him, unsure of what she plans to do once she's close enough but positive she has to do something. ]

Batman!

[ It's instinct to pull away - jerk back against the reeling pressure - but with the way they're imbedded there's a good chance he'd lose a chunk of muscle with it. He grits his teeth and cuts at the stem with the blow torch again, then stumbles back until he's free of the patch. ]

I think I got one...

[ She steadies him with a hand, looking down at his leg in slightly horrified guilt. She hasn't had someone she's working with get injured on her watch before. Without her, sure. But not while working with her, and to make matters even worse it's Dick ]

I think it got you.

What can I do?

Nothing right now. [ Yep he's gonna need to pry the fants out one by one. He grits his teeth again and reaches into his utility belt for a bandage. Something to stop the bleeding until he can make it back to the cave. ]

Actually, maybe. You think you could drive the Batmobile?

[ Wincing like it's her job, oh god Dick got hurt on her watch. ]

Yeah, I bet I can. Yeah. Definitely.

Is there anything else -

[ Beat. Forcing down the edge of panic in her voice. She needs to prove she can be professional about this. ]

Let me help you to it.

[ Man, if this wasn't humiliating enough already that body language is almost enough by itself to do him in. ] You haven't had it bad until you need fifty-nine stitches and a month in traction.

[ He'll start the slow hobble towards the Batmobile, dead plant still dangling. He's pretty determined not to lean on her to get there, but the limp is hard to disguise. ] I'll take some aspirin and go to bed early.

[ Her hand hovers near him as they walk, not able to summon up the courage to just support him but wanting to. ]

Yeah, aspirin, that's gonna be a huge help. [ Sarcasm is the only thing she's got to lighten this.

Robin's going to murder her. ]

Is there a more thorough first aid kit in the batmobile?

What do you think we keep in the glovebox? [ He reaches for the hood of the car and has to just lean on it for a minute. But losing blood is losing blood. No reason to stick around out longer when the mission he's set out to accomplish is done already. ]

But the teeth need to come out intact if we want to run tests on them.

A jukebox? [ Her mouth running ahead of her brain, as usual, and she stares at the driver's seat of the Batmobile.

Teeth.]

Let's get you home as fast as we can, then.

[ He tosses Max the keys and then manages to slide down into the passenger seat without too much of an obvious cringe. Man, it's been a while since he's been in this position. ]

I think it probably bears mentioning Bruce wouldn't let me get my hands on this thing until I was out of the shortpants.

[ Max can drive, sure. Her sister's ratty old car or her mom's trash heap. She's certainly never been at the wheel of a car with this many controls or buttons or crazy secondary and tertiary functions. She starts the engine. ]

There won't be a scratch on it. Cross my heart, hope to die, et cetera et cetera and so forth.

[ She may be speeding, though. ]

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