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WHO: Shirley and Hank
WHERE: The Pie Hole
WHEN: Tuesday afternoon
WARNINGS: None!
SUMMARY: Hank swings by the Pie Hole to discuss baked goods with Shirley.
FORMAT: Quick to start, but whatever afterwards!

[Business is slow today, and after completing all of the needed tasks for the day in the morning, Shirley is currently wiping up the kitchen for the second time that day. There's no danger in being too hygienic!

She's having a hard time focusing though, as wiping up anything is not her idea of workplace fun. At this point, she's watching the door like a hawk for a customer to enter so she can do something that doesn't involve damp cloths.]

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[Hank's been on the outside for the better part of a week by now, and hasn't quite settled into his routines yet. As much as he enjoys having access to his own kitchen again, there's never any harm in sampling the wares of another practitioner, and the Pie Hole has always had an immaculate reputation for these kind of things.

Shirley was someone he'd spoken to a couple times, but he never made it down to the shop quite as often as he should like, so what better time than today? So he strolls through the door gingerly, taking in the atmosphere as he approaches the counter. There's nothing quite like the aroma of fresh baking to his sensitive nostrils!

He offers a slight bow as he greets her.]

Ah, Mrs. Bennett. And how is the business treating you on this fine day?

[Shirley perks up at the voice, and moves around the counter to greet Hank properly. She smiles widely at the bow, always impressed at good old chivalry.]

Oh, hello! It's, um, doing just fine. But it's a little slow! If you didn't notice that already.

[She glances around at the empty seats.]

Did you come here for something to eat? I can get you a menu!

[He takes a glance around with a frown.] I had, unfortunately. Shameful state of affairs, that so upstanding an eatery would be ignored!

[Threading his fingers together, he bends down to take a look at her displays, licking his lips.] I'll definitely take a gander at that menu.

Edited 2012-06-14 10:27 (UTC)

[There's a menu under the counter, and she hands it to him. The selection has plenty to choose from.]

There's no muffins, I'm afraid! But there's always a wide selection of freshly baked pies. And you can always take some home with you!

[There's a mini surplus of uneaten pies today due to the slow business, and Shirley is more than eager to get rid of a few.]

Oh, I can do without muffins today, I'm sure. I get enough of those from my own oven, honestly!

[He glances up at her from his menu.] And while I would be remiss not to order at least one of the pies that lends you the name, I believe you've talked up these brownies of yours before. Tell me, between the White Chocolate Razzle and the Five-Layer Blonder, which do you prefer?

Oh, the Five-Layer Blender! [Which might be because it uses more ingredients.] But, um, both of them are very tasty. And freshly baked! If you wanted to order both, that is.

I'd certainly considered going that route...

[He turns his attention back to the menu, then pats his belly thoughtfully. Three months locked in a single room probably hadn't done much for his physique, whatever damage it could really have done to a six-hundred-pound muscular cat man.

But then, he'd also been three months without sweets. These weren't easy options to weigh.]

I'm sure I can give you a discount if you take two. Or three! [Hee hee!] Just kidding.

Unless you want three.

[He quirks a smile.] Well, I might do with as many pies, perhaps.

Oh! Of course, I can do that! Which ones do you want?

I've been considering my options, but the selection is a little overwhelming! I still can't imagine why more people wouldn't give them a try.

Tell me, do you have a favorite, yourself?

It's just a slow day. I've even put the cardboard cutout of Han outside, but I don't think anyone has noticed it.

But, um, I think the over the moon pie is a very delicious treat for all of your consumption needs! And, um, the tripleberry and coconut custard are also very nice.

You just named at least two I was thinking about.

Let me tell you what, the Institute's having prom this weekend, and we need some refreshments. So I'm probably taking a few home today, but a good spread for Saturday would be beyond perfect! What kind of bulk specials do you have?

Oh! Um. Bulk specials?

[Shirley just pretends to recall some numbers, but it's more of a case that she never realized to consider catering. It's pretty hard to make up numbers off the top of her head, so she buys herself more time.]

Well, uh, obviously, we would offer you a discount if you bought in a high bulk, and I'm sure we can also offer you a high range of our products. How many would be in attendance?

High range will be precisely what we're after! We'll have maybe fifty attendants or so.

Oh! Well, I think I can make enough for that. But, um, obviously with such high quality ingredients that we serve here, the price would be around- Um. $200! Or so.

[She's just making up a number there, and hoping it'll be enough. She reminds herself to think these things through first.]

Well, that hardly sounds unreasonable! That kind of volume would threaten to run a little higher.

What would $200 get us?

Well, that isn't including travel costs or, um, any other additional costs. But that would buy you quite a few pies! And, um, some of our other products of your choice.

But how many would you estimate "quite a few" to be, approximately?

Um.

[She takes a pause to consider this. Basic mathematics, don't fail her now!]

...Around ten to twelve pies, depending on the ranges you'd want, and of course we would include a selection of brownies. Around thirty slices, of whatever flavor you would prefer.

About ten pies and thirty brownies for two hundred dollars? [He does the math quickly in his head.] That...could work.

I'll want to consult with my colleagues, but I'll bring them a few samples to sway the vote. So, for today, I think both of those brownies and the three pies you recommended will do.

[He pats the menu against his palm.] You have a copy of this I could take with me, as we consider our order?

Oh, yes! Just take that one. We have plenty of others.

[She sways around the counter into the kitchen area, preparing some boxes for him.]

And may I just add that it is a pleasure doing business with you!

[He takes out his wallet in preparation.] Once I get into these babies, I expect the pleasure will all be mine!

Oh, thank you! It's just nice that someone appreciates my baking, that's all. And especially someone as talented as you!

[She starts walking around the kitchen to find the appropriate food, glad to be doing some busywork.]

Do you work at the school then?

[He puts a hand to his heart and bows slightly. If he could blush through all that blue...]

Well, we foodies ought to stick together! I think mutual appreciation of the other's work is the least we can do.

But, ah, that's something of a yes and no. I was in something of a transitional period for a few months, but I'm regaining my equilibrium now. And while I may no longer be headmaster, it's still my name on the deed.

[Shirley nods as she carries on her work.]

But you still own the school! That's very impressive. And it hasn't even burned down yet!

[He winces and knocks on the counter.] Knock on wood, of course. We've...well, had a few people who've tried.

Oh, that's awful. I think schools are, um, very important for helping future generations.

Do you have any security guards?

I would by no means disagree! Of course, I'm somewhat biased in that respect, but I think preparing the younger generation for the wider culture around them is vital to our society's continuance.

We don't so much have guards as our regular faculty is equipped to protect the students and property. We...have some experiences with these matters.

I just don't understand why anyone would attack a school. Then again, there's a lot more, um, general villainy around here.

Yes, Lachesis has never been as selective as we might hope she would be.

I still don't understand her criteria. I mean, I'm really not much help in fighting or being a hero. I just bake!

I'm honestly beginning to question whether she has any legitimate criteria to begin with!

Well. There are a lot of teenagers.

To be fair, I've known a great deal of teenaged heroes in my time. Started out as one myself, actually.

Was it something radioactive?

Well, my father was a nuclear engineer before he had to retire, but no. Not for the most part.

[He twiddles his fingers.] The hands and feet were always about this size. Everything else...came later, and was mostly my own fault!

Everybody makes mistakes! But, um, I suppose this one would be a very large one.

About six hundred pounds worth, at a guess. [He straightens his lapels and preens.]

Though, frankly, I knew what the result would be, the real mistake was not properly minding my time window. That was years back, though. Nothing left to do now but move on with my more cobalt-colored life.

Oh, you like more five hundred and fifty at most!

[She's nearly finished packing up the goods, and begins to sellotape the boxes shut.]

You always have to move on from these problems, anyway. It's good that you keep positive! And that you find clothes that fit.

I think, once you've passed a certain number, a higher weight becomes almost more impressive than any kind of shame you might otherwise have inspired from it.

I do need to have my clothes custom-tailored, but at least I save money on shoes!

[Seeing how close she is to being finished, he reaches for his wallet.] Now, how much do I owe you?

In total, it should be $35!

[She brings out all the boxes and puts them on the counter.]

[He digs out a couple twenties to take care of the bill, then takes up the boxes and wonders how the pies would fair if he tried juggling them.]

That should cover it. And I hope your day will only be lovelier as it continues!

[She takes the money quickly, slotting it away.]

Thank you! Please, um, come again!

[He moves backwards to the door, but offers a bow as he does.]

Oh, I'm sure you'll see me in a few days! Nice place like this, how could I stay away?

I'll be sure to reserve a seat!

[She curtseys as best as she can. Not very well.]

Goodbye!

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