It makes me proud, so proud of you

[magicalworld]

WHO: Calvin and Monster
WHERE: Monster's home, the Raccoon Fortress of Doom
WHEN: Forward-dated to September the 15th, after Calvin returns from the dragontrip
WARNINGS: RACCOONS
SUMMARY: Calvin goes to visit Monster, unaware he lives in the home of the terrible Raccoon Queen.
FORMAT: Quicklog

[Calvin missed Monster while he was gone. He saw so many amazing sights, he was sorry he didn’t have a friend like the Monster around to share them with. So once he was back and rested and had caught up with his guardians, the first thing he wanted to do was make a surprise visit to Monster’s house to tell him all about his journey.]

[Calvin didn’t know about the raccoons swarming the property when he landed on the lawn and knocked on the door, but he found out in a hurry. The discovery involved teeth, running, and yelling.]

AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!

[Lots of yelling, from the terrified super-kid tearing around the house ahead of a pack of irate procyon lotor waddling after him.]

Comments

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

[ Monster was doing something very important, which is to say, he was eating. Recently he never seems to be able to stop eating, but as that's normal for him he doesn't really care.

What isn't normal was someone screaming around the house. The Monster goes out onto the yard, spotting the raccoons all excited. ]

Um.

[ He's looking around now, standing just outside the house, curious but too lazy to fully investigate.]

[magicalworld]

[The screaming fades as Calvin goes around the back, then rises again as he comes back to the front, then fades once more after Calvin zips by where Monster is standing, raccoons snapping at his heels.]

HEEEEEEEEEELLLLP!

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

Hi Cal-- oh.

[ He frowns, unsure of what to do. If April were here, he'd ask her. And he can't quite ask Calvin what to do since he's running around in circles.

Therefore, the only people left to bother are -- ]

Mr. Racoons! Racoons! Hey!

[magicalworld]

[Calvin, meanwhile, has finally remembered that he can fly and raccoons can't. He ka-pwings upward and hovers as the animals shake their angry little paws below him.]

Monster! Do these things actually listen to you? Get them away from me!

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

Um, they mostly only listen to April. But I know what they like. [ Monster goes back inside a moment, and comes out with the bag of popcorn he was eating. He kinda shakes it. ]

Mr. Raccoons! I have food!

[magicalworld]

[The raccoons immediately turn and descend on Monster in a furry tide. Calvin is aghast. Surely they'll devour him along with the popcorn!]

Monster, don't! They'll tear you apart!

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

[ He's now almost covered in raccoons, so he tosses the popcorn aside and most of them go for it. One of the raccoons tries nibbling on him, but the monster doesn't seem to notice.

He waves at Calvin.]

Hi Calvin! So you can fly, huh?

[magicalworld]

[Calvin drifts over to his friend, amazed that he's still alive.]

Yeah, it's one of my Porter powers. What the heck are all these animals doing here? Why don't you have a warning sign or something up?

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

[ The monster blinks at the raccoons for a second, then turns back to Calvin and shrugs. ]

I dunno, there've always been raccoons here. I think April's their Grand Leader or something.

[magicalworld]

Well tell the Grand Leader to put up a big neon sign or something! Make it with big red letters: 'DANGER! FLESH-EATING RACCOONS! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!'

[Calvin glares down at the raccoons. Now that he's not fleeing from them, he can afford to be angry instead of terrified.]

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

That sounds like a good idea! [ One of the raccoons is tugging at his pant leg, though Monster doesn't seem to notice. ] Um, I think that sounds a bit rude though. Maybe something like, "Warning! There are raccoons living here! They are nice but sometimes bite!"

[magicalworld]

I don't care about being rude! Do you have paint and stuff inside? We can make it right now!

[Staring at that tugging raccoon]

Hey, you've got something on your leg.

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

I dunno. We could check, though! [ He stops and looks at the raccoon, shakes his leg a little -- and the raccoon goes flying like, five feet. ]

Oh no, I didn't mean to do that. Sorry Mister Raccoon!

[magicalworld]

Whoah, how strong are you?

[But Calvin immediately forgets about it because he's Calvin. Instead he swoops down to fly inside the door Monster emerged from.]

Quick, get inside before they regroup!

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

[ Monster just sort of walks inside, possibly a little more leisurely than quick, casually wondering if he should tell Calvin there are raccoons inside the house too?

Oh well. ]

The flying thing looks totally useful. I wish I could fly.

[magicalworld]

You should. It's really great.

[Calvin looks so smug. For a moment. Then he sees sinister raccoon claw-marks on the floor in the house and freezes dead still.]

Oh, no. They figured out how to open doors!

[yelloweyesdarksomething]

Huh? They have? [ He blinks at Calvin and then looks around, as if expecting to see raccoons opening doors all over the place. ]

Oh no, they could get into my closet! [ SUDDENLY ANXIOUS ]

[magicalworld]

Ugh, yeah. Imagine what they could do to your clothes. [Calvin can just picture it.]

You don't have any guns around here, do you?