Heads of state who ride and wrangle

[out_of_time]

WHO: Jack Bauer and Sue Storm
WHERE: NoHOPE
WHEN: Monday afternoon
WARNINGS: Probable discussion of violence and torture
SUMMARY: As part of Jack's therapy, Susan is going to interview him and work out what makes him tick.
FORMAT: Prose

They were going to make him talk to someone new today. Part of some new therapy they wanted to try on him. Jack didn't exactly like the sound of that. He had generally cooperated with the staff so far, but he didn't want anything experimental anywhere near him.

The first step was apparently an interview. That was manageable, he had done lots of interviews. Some of them had involved acid, beatings, electric shocks. He'd handle this one like the others, Jack told himself as he was led into the room and sat down behind the table. Just like his previous talks with the staff, he'd keep his cards close to his chest on the personal matters. On the things that could hurt the most.

Comments

[invisibly]

"I'm not a counterterrorism expert, Mister Bauer, or a psychologist. I'm simply a scientist." A biologist, with no credentials to be having this conversation, and letting this man spill out his soul to her. But here she was anyways, listening to his story, imagining a world she'd never even wanted to consider before.

Their worlds were so different. Not just the builds of them, but the arenas in which they operated. She had no exposure to anything like that in her world, though she had no doubt such people existed. She wondered if Jack had ever seen the things she had, the pure beauty of humanity working as one to solve scientific problems, to search for medical cures, to improve the status of those around them instead of invoking fear.

"You worked your way through the ranks rather quickly. Your department... S.T.A.R.S., can you tell me about them?"

[out_of_time]

"Yeah, I can tell," Jack grumped at her. He had gotten used to people like her- which was to say most people, honestly. Most people didn't understand worlds defined by bullets, bloodshed, and betrayal. Jack was usually fine with that, except when those people tried to understand him. It rarely went well.

He sighed and looked off, remembering. "I've worked with a lot of fine people," he said. "People in the military, people in intelligence services. Brave, dedicated, intelligent people willing to die defending their country. The people I commanded in S.T.A.R.S. were some of the very best. It was a good team- while it lasted."

Jack restrained himself from sighing again. Over time, the Porter and budget cuts had not just eliminated S.T.A.R.S. itself, but its former members. He was almost sure Abby was the last member still in the City. There were names there he dearly missed, friends like Yusuke and Seras.

[invisibly]

She didn't take his grumpiness personally. She'd been around that sort of attitude too much to let it truly bother her. Besides, she could be just as grumpy when the mood struck her. She had a job to do, whether or not Jack Bauer thought she should be the one doing it.

"And was that the only team you've commanded?" She didn't bother looking up from her paper and she scribbled down her notes. The page was getting messy. She would have to better organize her thoughts later.

[out_of_time]

Jack shook his head. "No, I was a Captain in the military before I joined the intelligence services. After that I was Director of Field Ops at C.T.U., that put me in charge of field agents. I also had rank over most Imports on the police force after my superiors were Ported home."

In the City there had been the Dependables as well, and various ad-hoc team-ups to handle sudden crises, but Jack wanted to keep the talk away from those if he could. Questions about his allies could end up dangerous for them.

[invisibly]

"Were there any particular field missions that stand out in your mind?" She raised one eyebrow, wondering if perhaps a mission gone wrong could unlock the key to Bauer's mental state. The stress related to a situation like that could easily have pushed him over the edge, or in turn be manipulated to allow him closure on some of these career path related hang-ups.

[out_of_time]

He wanted to duck that question, stay away from the answer, but it wasn't possible. The events had been too high-profile, and he'd been involved from the beginning. It was bound to come up sooner or later.

Jack took a deep breath, suppressed a sigh. "About two years ago Los Angeles was taken over by a group called the HIVE. They seized the civilian population as hostages, kept them from leaving. I and several other Imports were deputized by the federal government to help with evacuation."

And after days of intense urban combat in one of America's most important cities, that government had bombarded most of Jack's hometown to rubble. It was definitely the kind of thing that stood out in Jack's mind.

[invisibly]

Susan had heard of that incident, though she would certainly need to look into it further now that she knew how important it had been for Jack. She made a note of it before looking back to him, ideas making themselves right at home in her head.

"I think I have an idea of what I'd like to suggest to Danger."

[out_of_time]

Oh, now Jack did not like the sound of this at all.

"Yeah? What's that?" He raised his eyebrows as he asked.

[invisibly]

"I'm going to recommend she create a program that will simulate what happened with the HIVE. It may not be the root cause of your stress, but I think working through what happened then will be good for you, cathartic even." She offered him a polite, sympathetic smile.

[out_of_time]

Sometimes Jack hated being right.

"You're going to put me in a simulation of that crap? You can't be serious," he snapped. "How the hell is forcing me to relive a war and the destruction of an American city going to help anything?"

Cathartic his ass.

[invisibly]

"Sometimes pushing through your trauma is the only way you can overcome it," Susan said, gathering up her paperwork again.

[out_of_time]

Jack stood up, arms tense against the table. "Don't start to leave. You don't even know I have any trauma from that mission! You are not putting me back through that and calling it therapy!"

[invisibly]

"I'm not doing anything, Mister Bauer. The final decision about your treatment will be determined by the doctors overseeing your care."

She tried to look sympathetic, even as she stands up from her chair.

[out_of_time]

"I'm not interested in any excuses," Jack snapped. His knuckles clenched on the table's surface. "If this therapy puts me through that again, I will hold you responsible."

[invisibly]

She looked down at him, eyes narrowing. "I hope for your sake that wasn't a threat."

[out_of_time]

"It's a promise." Jack narrowed his eyes back.

Maybe she would back off if he could make her understand why he never, ever wanted to do this. "Look, a few months after the battle in Los Angeles, there was an attack on the City. I got put into a... magical sleep, trapped in a nightmare. Reliving my wife's murder-" He swallowed. "Reliving the moment I found her body. I held her and cried for two days before I finally woke up."

Jack looked down, then back up. "I never want to go through anything like that again. But now you're talking about making me relive watching my hometown get burned, by my own government. That's why I'm serious when I tell you that if you put me through this simulation, I will make sure people know what you've done."

[invisibly]

"What I've done is try to help you. You're a troubled man, Mister Bauer. You're paranoid, prone to acts of violence, you have a lot of trauma that it would seem you've never dealt with." Susan's voice was calm, not spiking any even though on the inside she wanted to scream. She didn't like this, not at all. "If you're not willing to experiment and try, things will never improve for you. Are you really willing to give up your chance for recovery because it might be difficult?"

[out_of_time]

"You don't get it. I'm not sick. I don't need a cure," Jack insisted. "Yes, I've been through a lot. Yes, it's painful, yes I have to live with it every day. Yes, I've had a violent career, I've done bad things. But I accept that. It does not mean I am not in control of my actions. Aside from the crap Vulcanus put in me, I am willing to take responsibility for everything I've done. Those were my choices, not the result of any illness that I'm recovering from."

The ideal of owning one's decisions was deeply ingrained in Jack. So much so that he would rather be considered a criminal than be treated as though he wasn't fully accountable for the calls he'd made. He was in the asylum instead of back in Superjail because of the idea that he couldn't be held legally culpable for what he'd done. The entire premise of his treatment here cut against the core of what he believed in.

[invisibly]

"Forgive me for being blunt," Susan said, pushing her chair in so that she could rest her hands firmly on it's back. "But if you're taking responsibility for your own actions, why are you in this hospital instead of a prison? The lawyers and judges and doctors who decided your case felt strongly enough that you needed help that they chose to send you here. These people, everyone in the facility, we all want to help you, Jack. Don't give up before you've even tried. If you do that..."

Sue trailed off, thinking a moment. She'd seen too many people lose themselves in insanity. Reed had seemed to teeter on it so often. She'd lost and been betrayed by Victor twice. True, she barely knew Jack, but she didn't want to lose another person to the terrors of their own mind.

"If you don't try, you could be here for a very long time."

[out_of_time]

"Maybe it's a political move," Jack answered immediately. "Maybe putting me here keeps them from having to decide whether to extradite me to Mexico or Venezuela, did you ever think of that? Or maybe all those people made a mistake. It wouldn't be the first time." If Harvey Dent could be found cured, Jack thought it was completely plausible he himself could be wrongfully diagnosed as well.

"Either way, it was the wrong call. The system you're serving doesn't always work," he continued. "Sometimes it's corrupt, sometimes it's incompetent, and each time there's a price to be paid. That's why I lost my job- because I wouldn't stand for that anymore. Going along with it now, that's what I'd call giving up."

[invisibly]

"This hospital has undergone a lot of changes since Danger took over. She doesn't have the political motivation to keep you here if you're not really sick." She shook her head sharply. She could be just as stubborn as he could.

"The system isn't stagnant. It's changing, Jack. Our presence is altering this world, for better or worse. Giving up isn't going to fix it. It's going to break it and leave us with nothing. Think about that."