I am the egg-man, they are the egg-men

[shotup]

WHO: Steller Roy Lion, Olrus, & Wallephant Seal
WHERE: The beach at Coney Island
WHEN: Monday afternoon.
WARNINGS: Fat asshole marine mammals require a cuteness warning.
SUMMARY: A sea lion, walrus, and elephant seal bask on the beach.
FORMAT: Quick?

[It's been a few days trapped in these behemoth bodies, giving the gentlemen enough time to at least sort of adjust to their newfound states of being. It isn't easy, let's be honest, but there are worse creatures to be than 2000lb marine mammals. For starters, passersby seem mostly content to leave them alone. And swimming, as it turns out, is really fun now. Then there's the pastime known as basking, and boy is it delightful! Who knew that flopping into a heap at the water's edge could be such a calming way to pass the day?

It might be freezing here at the beach, but these fellows are built to cope. Roy, now inhabiting the body of a Steller sea lion, is especially enjoying the weather. He finds a nice spot right near the boardwalk, where the snow fades into the sand and let's out a loud bellow to inform the others of his discovery.]

Rooaoaoroaoaoaororrrroroaarrrrrr!!!

[Translation: "This looks like a good spot."]

Rooooooooaarrrrrrrarararaooaoaor!!!

["Hurry up, you two are slow as hell."]

Comments

[centralsgreatest]

[ Wally loves swimming. It's the only time he's really fast, and although slowing down seems like it would be good for him it's not. It's really, really not. He's bored out of his mind. Everything goes so slow. It takes years it feels like to get anywhere. ]

Crrrooooooooooooooooooooooaaak croak croak!

[ "You know I'm bigger than you." God why does he sound so dumb. ]

[longbowhunter]

[Ollie isn't the slowest of them, but it's still enough to bother him. Probably not as much as it bothers Wally, but seriously, he's never felt so fat in his life and frankly, it's an ego blow that he didn't really need.]

Fffffffrrrrrruuuuuuuu!!

["Screw you, kiddo." The sputter was meant as a retort but didn't sound nearly as impressive as he wanted. Maybe he'd growled. The growling was pretty effective.]

[shotup]

Rooooooaraaaaaaooooor!

["Stop making excuses and get over here!", comes the response as Roy plops himself onto the sand in an elegant splatting motion. He's aware that he also looks fat and ridiculous, but why fight something that feels so natural?]

Rooaaaaroaaaar!

["This is the life."]

[centralsgreatest]

[ He lets out a low moan. ]

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhh.

[ "But it's so slow."

He drags himself over to a spot near Roy (but not too close) and flops down, his enormous nose laying half on the sand. ]

[longbowhunter]

[Ollie hobbles to join them. It is really slow and awkward to move around on land. But the sun is warm and honestly, he can think of worse ways to spend the day.]

Rrrrrrruooooohhhh rurrrrrruooooooooooh.

["You don't need superspeed when you're that fat."]

[shotup]

[He waves a flipper as if to dismiss them both.]

Mrrooorrrrh. Broooooooaaaargh.

["If we're gonna be stuck like this, we might as well enjoy it."]

Boooooooork!

["You look good, Wally. The nose suits you." You could say that there is a smile on this obese sea lion's face.]

[centralsgreatest]

[ He moans, an actual elephant seal moan, and rolls over onto his back.

His life is so hard. ]

[longbowhunter]

[Ollie echos his cries for no other reason than that it seemed like a compelling thing to do. There's a few things he doesn't really understand or appreciate about being a walrus, but honestly, the ability to just kind of grumble randomly and incoherently is kind of nice.

Slowly (everything he does is slow right now, let's not lie), he drags himself closer to Roy and moves his flipper, dusting some sand onto the sleek looking sea lion. It's not fair that he's taller as a human and smaller as an amphibious mammal. Seriously not fair.]

[shotup]

[He hoists himself up in a great display of fatness, letting out a sharp warning bark.]

Errrrrrrooooooargh!

["Watch it, old man!" He uses one of his flippers to scoop up some sand and toss it toward Ollie. Unfortunately, a gust of wind carries it right toward Wally. Whoops.]

[centralsgreatest]

[ With a not impressive croaking trumpeting roar Wally rolls over.

Whether the roar is a challenge or just the effort it takes him to roll, it's hard to say.

"Don't make me come over there!" ]

[longbowhunter]

Frrrrrrooo ffffrrr frrrrrrrouuuuuh!

["Bring it, kiddo."

Ollie's eternally grateful that while Wally might have him beat in size, walruses were actually more capable of impressive growls than either of the other two species. If there was a silver lining to be found in this mess, that was probably it."

[shotup]

[Roy isn't about to back down now, not when his honor is on the line. He might not be the biggest or the loudest, but he's a scrapper and he's in it to win it!]

Ork ork ork! Broooooooaaaaarrrrrk!

["You're on!" And with that, he charges toward Ollie, ready to slap with his flippers. Look out, Wally, he's in tackle mode!]

[centralsgreatest]

[ Wally drags himself into the water. He's faster than they are there. ]

Crrrroooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakk croak crooooaaaak croak croak!

[ "If you two are going to kill each other leave me out of it!" ]