I asked how bad I should make this. I was told to make it terrible.

[bonermagic]

WHO: Dirk, a generic NPC, maybe someone invisible, and hopefully a PC of some kind.
WHERE: Outdoors, in a...park, yeah, sure.
WHEN: Noon. On...some day. A Wednesday?
WARNINGS: Probably language.
SUMMARY: Dude talks to an invisible friend whose lap Dirk accidentally sat in.
FORMAT: I'm just writing in prose style because I'd rather not have three paragraphs in tiny brackets.

Where you are in this unfolding drama is a good question. Were you...or perhaps the third person they would be more appropriate in this situation...they accompanying Dirk on some adventure or another? Meeting him in the park for some reason or another? A random bystander who happened to stand by at the right place at the right time? Excellent questions which won't be answered in this part of the narrative.

This is what he was doing: he had happened to sit down because of a sudden need to text someone or another through the network. He was more than capable of walking and typing, and yet...and yet why not? There was a bench. There was a man on the other end who was animatedly talking and it was no big deal...at least not until the point in which he stood up and started talking to Dirk.

Or it seemed like he was talking to Dirk. He was talking in Dirk's direction. He just happened to be talking to someone who didn't exist, existed in a different dimension, or was invisible and Dirk just happened to be giving him a lap dance. Given how things worked all three possibilities were actually reasonably plausible.

After a moment's pause he scooted over and got up.

Comments

[adventureboner]

((Jake's a dick (woah is anyone as surprised as I?) and just HAPPENED to be in the same area as Dirk when all this unfolds. He pulls his scarf a little tighter around his neck and watches, then snickers when he notices that very subtle 'DNW' posture Dirk emanated.

So when Dirk tries to escape, Jake's gonna tail him, catch up, and comment with a laugh.))

What, leaving your pal back there for a smoke? ((not that jake thinks dirk smokes, just that he's making a joke here.))

[bonermagic]

[Oh god.] ...you saw what happened, didn't you.

[Outwardly, he's his usual stoic self. Inwardly, see icon.]

[adventureboner]

Kinda hard to miss there, Dirk. Poor chum back there looks beside himself with sorrow. ((He turns back a little, still chuckling. Again, probably just jerking his bro.))

[bonermagic]

[And he pauses, he looks back slowly, and then looks forward again.]

The man kind of does. Maybe you oughta go back and console him in his loss.

[adventureboner]

Not sure that'll turn THAT frown upside down, there, chum. Hehe.

((pats Dirk on the shoulder.)) Well, his loss! Can't say I've heard all that much out of you lately myself, might as well take the time to chit chat a bit, wouldn't you say?

[bonermagic]

I've been busy.

[...]

Sorry. I've been trying to make Roxy her belated present. [This is somewhat of a lie. Somewhat.]

[adventureboner]

Uh... for... Christmas?

[bonermagic]

Yeah. She wanted a robot cat. I figured it was no big deal but I forgot the average tech level that we're working with. Plus the fact that I don't really have much in the way of tools. So, yeah. It's proving to be difficult. On the bright side it's not like I blew up anything. [Hahaha, imagine if something had and a head got catapulted out the window only to hit someone far below. What are the chances?]

[adventureboner]

((Yeah that'd be a weird and unfortunate occurrence. Hopefully that someone remembered to wear his helmet!!))

Or slimed any poor, unsuspecting fellows, ((bearing a chuckle.)) If you like, perhaps I could help you rummage up some stuff. My sylladex still jam packed with weird gingmabobs, I bet some old thing of my grandma's might be of use to you on your quest.

[bonermagic]

[And he found himself chuckling in return (oh memories) before he caught himself and stopped.]

You don't mind? It might take me a while to go through everything you got.

[adventureboner]

Ehhh, you know how the saying goes. Cest la vie! ((SEST la vie, yes, not C'est la vie.)) If you don't mind a little scrounging around all the crap, I don't mind letting you pick out what might help. Course I'll lend a hand!

[bonermagic]

...thanks.

[Okay, okay. He'll take one for the team.] So...you talked to Rox lately?

[adventureboner]

...

Er... Yeah, no not... really. Girl's pissed as hell. I'd love to but... I mean how the fuck am I supposed to make it up to her? 'Specially with Jane all... awol, you know?

[glowsferatu]

[ kanaya crosses her arms and just watches this unfold with vague amusement. she waits until he actually gets up before she interrupts. ]

Visiting with a friend?

[bonermagic]

[And...okay, so they're not exactly BFF OMG but thinking about it...thinking about it this is something he's okay with. Kanaya's cool. Good people.] I interrupted something. I figured I'd give the man some privacy.

[glowsferatu]

Well, then I'm sure he'd thank you for a pleasant time. [ doing what? she doesn't really want to think about it. it isn't important anyway and speculating would probably only turn the conversation in an uncomfortable direction. ]

Works perfectly well for me, I was looking for you for a specific reason.

[bonermagic]

...really. [He's getting ready to take back the good people thing.]

[glowsferatu]

I wanted your thoughts on an ongoing problem, one I've been attempting to solve. He holds you in esteem, so I hoped you might have some insight.

[ she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. maybe she's wasting her time with this anyway, i mean technically she's known him longer than dirk, but it can't hurt to try, can it? ] It's about Dave. The one who's still here, I mean.

[bonermagic]

[There is a pause. Somewhere off in the distance a wayward gull flies onward toward the sea. A student reaches for books gilded in filemot. An algid breeze slithered down the neck and down the spine of some hapless pedestrian. And Dirk Strider summoned the most neutral, bland, even expression he could muster and turned to her.]

What about him?

[glowsferatu]

[ she blinks once. twice. she screws up her lips. this isn't going quite as easily as she'd hoped. striders. ]

I'm sure you must have noticed that he turned prodigal nearly two months ago. The two of your are meant to be biologically connected, aren't you concerned?

[bonermagic]

[Oh god. With his gameface in place he's going to shrug. It's a very deliberate shrug.]

I'm not gonna say that I'm indifferent but at the same time I'm not his Bro, ectobiology aside; I don't know what you'd expect from me.

[glowsferatu]

[ it's the taciturn disposition that's the most difficult to deal with from the orange texted striders. dave had the same problem with keeping closed off, but at least his walls had an almost endearing way of manifesting themselves. ]

Well, not the same one, obviously. I'm pretty sure he's dead. [ uh. well worded there. ] I just think, maybe, it might be wise if you were. I think maybe he needs one, and, I don't know, aside from being the best candidate, you might gain some benefit yourself.

[bonermagic]

...I don't know, Maryam. Genetic relationships aside I'm not sure I'd be qualified to be anybody's Bro. [And yes, he put a certain emphasis. It wasn't merely a bro, it was a Bro.] Hell, do you even know if he'd want me to try?

[glowsferatu]

I doubt he wouldn't. [ even if he's an aloof tool who acts like he doesn't and it totally isn't a big deal or anything. because davesprite. ]

Though I'll admit that, outside of our time here in the City, I generally know the one of the less birdly inclination better. But given how he idolized you--or the other version of you, at least--I'd be surprised if the element weren't common between them.

[bonermagic]

Yeah well. Maybe. [...idolized some version of him? ...] But no matter how identical the two are there's still differences that accumulate over years that would account for...hell, that element being negated somehow. [He might be sounding like he's trying to convince himself of something at this point.]