capeandcowllogs | The sky is red and the sea is blue

Entry tags:

The sky is red and the sea is blue

WHO: Tsundere #1 (

swordedpast) and Tsundere #2 (

gandere)
WHERE: Near the MAC
WHEN: Monday, January 28th
WARNINGS: Probably nothing except general emotional dysfunction.
SUMMARY: Archer nearly gets dragged into the Wild Hunt; Rin intervenes.
FORMAT: Prose.

He's late coming back from work tonight. Actually, he's not even coming back from work exactly, because he got off a couple of hours ago. It's just that since then, Archer has been weaving his way through the side streets and alleys of the City, trying to shake some pursuer he knows is after him. Whoever or whatever they are, he knows he can't bring them home to Rin. If he confronts them, it has to be somewhere safely far away from her. Or at least, that's what he spent about an hour and a half doing. After that point, he realized that there's no singular pursuer on his tail, but that something dark and magic is afoot. In which case, Rin could be in as much trouble as he is already.

The thought also crosses his mind that maybe Rin could help with this malady--after all, she's the master of magecraft here. He dismisses this thought quickly--he's already making plans to shield her from his troubles when he goes after that girl in Southwest Phoenicia, after all. He can't let himself rely on her for this.

He's still thinking that he can't let himself rely on Rin to help him when he's two blocks away from the MAC and the sky opens up above him. It's midwinter, but thunder roars in his ears and lightning blinds him. Hail falls--hail, at the end of January. Now he's certain this is magic, but that certainty doesn't help him, because he's just as certain that his pursuers are here. He goes from a swift walk to a run, trying to suppress the rising dread, or at least channel it into a productive urge. It doesn't matter if they're chasing him, but Rin may be in danger, and that's something else.

Archer makes it almost to the MAC itself before he realizes that it's not just rain and thunder he's hearing--it's hoofbeats. And they aren't just chasing him: they're asking him to join. He comes to a stop in the middle of a small park. The lights of the MAC would be easily visible through the rain, if he weren't surrounded by the ghostly cavalry roaring past him.

He's two hours late for dinner, and he's trying to remember why he shouldn't take up arms against all sinners and ride. It's something to do with what he's two hours late for, and who's waiting there with it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Do we even have enough money for a vacation?"

Rin knows the answer well enough to that. Archer can barely support the two of them, right? She's not very good with money, but she is aware that they are doing what they can to get by.

"Well, we should stick around regardless. If those fiends cause too much trouble, we'll have to do what we can to help the people here. There are those who don't deserve to be hurt by them."

She thinks of Calvin to start with, but there are others. Charlie, Kat, Kanaya. It's weird to think about that, but try as she might to dismiss it, they continue to intrude on her thoughts.

"I'm not talking about a vacation, Rin." He keeps speaking even though he knows that it's impossible. "I'm talking about moving and spending whatever time we have in this place away from the mess of this City. You'd be safer and less troubled by these stupid spirits."

He keeps talking about things like that. It's not like trying over and over again to jump a hurdle even though you know you can't make it; who would do a thing like that, anyway? (He can't remember who would do a thing like that.) It's more like standing beneath the hurdle punching yourself for not being able to make it.

It's because he can't give Rin a life free of those troubles. Even if he were physically capable, he'd refuse to walk away from this City and its heroes, and the people they need to save. So he has to remind himself of how he's failing her. But it's strange; she doesn't seem to mind.

He presses a fist to his mouth for a second, forgetting that it's something he's seen her do, to try to erase any trace of a smile. Any hint of gratitude for the fact that he knows she'll choose to stay, just as he would.

Out of the corner of her eye she witnesses it and while normally this is when a devil like herself will be quick to call him out, she remains silent in thought. Moving? Does he mean away from these apartments?

"We can't afford two apartments on our own." It comes out abruptly as she continues to dig herself into the grave that is accepting a life alongside Archer. "We'd have to move into the same place together and even then it'd be tough."

With a laugh, she leans her shoulders into the back of the bed. "I wouldn't mind that kind of hardship."

Someone should be there to lean against her. It can't be him. Does that make him feel regret? He can't tell. There's no way to feel a gentle rain on the bottom of the ocean.

"Yeah, there are ways in the City to provide for us, like this building. Maybe that's why so few imPorts leave." He keeps looking at her so long as she's not quite fully looking at him. "Of course, I know you could handle it. Rin Tohsaka is the kind of person who decides she can do something, then sets her mind to a task and conquers it, even if others might whine about its difficulty."

He finally looks down, smiling in a detached fashion. "But I couldn't. You must be aware that getting used to a life like that would conflict with my goals. In fact, I fear that if I spent long enough here with you that I'd forget about my purpose in the Holy Grail War entirely."

It's safe to say this, he figures, because she doesn't know what his real purpose in the Holy Grail War is. She's allied with Shirou Emiya, shared her body with him, even hinted that he's still hers--so there's no way she'd consent to live at the side of the wiser and more broken Emiya if she knew his goals. Naturally she'll just assume he's talking about the Grail, like any other Servant would be.

"I'm a really unreliable Servant like that."

"Is that what you want to do, Archer?"

Soft-spoken even though the topic upsets her, she manages to keep a level head. "Return to the Holy Grail War. Conclude your business there and win us the war. Is that all you care about?"

She desperately wants to ask him to just stay at her side. Forget the war, forget trying to kill Shirou Emiya, and choose instead to remain here with her. They were partners so they could fight crime together, work on taking that woman down, and live a life here away from the rules of the Mage Association.

Why does she immediately think of how nice it would be to raise siblings together?

"Ugh... that's so stupid. Are you saying you only want to live for two weeks at most while the war concludes?"

"What I want to do?"

He only wants one thing, and that's an end; silence inside his ribcage where self-loathing and despair now nest in the shape of a heart. It's the first thing he's ever wanted, so what right does she have to question it?

When did he ever give her the authority over him to deny him that peace?

The smile fades off his face. His eyes go blank and dead.

"It's a weakness of yours that you care what I want, Master. It always has been. It made you waste that first command spell...it's no wonder you turned to Shirou Emiya to help you win the war. For some reason you don't know how to use a real Servant properly."

"You're right. It should have been at least a couple more decades before I had to fight in that war, but I made do with what I had."

Was this the first time she felt regret for the conclusion of the Fifth Holy Grail War? In the end it all happened to work out, but she was selfish in pursuing the end in the manner she did. By denying her Archer his goals, but without Shirou would they have won? Doubtful; without him, Lancer may have never joined their side and if that hero in particular failed to save her...

Thinking of that mess still made her nauseous. It had almost been here. Archer almost gave her to Shinji Matou. She's a forgiving person, but it really pisses her off when he has no knowledge of the acts he'll inflict upon her later on.

("I have promised Emiya Shirou that she will not be harmed. But that promise is over at dawn. You can do as you wish when the time comes.")

And he has the audacity to say these things to her.

What if he betrays her here in the City? The thought rarely crosses her mind, but the strange time gap between them reminds her that it's a possibility.

"Faker." She says out loud just to test his reaction and to relieve just a bit of her annoyance at the situation.

He draws in a sharp breath and opens his mouth to retort--

'I know.'

But nothing comes out. He can't say that to Rin. He can't admit to her that he's completely aware that he's a fake and a fraud and always has been. No, for his Master he has to be the powerful and confident Servant she summoned.

He hates that. He's never met anyone as inconvenient as her before.

Archer bites his lip to keep those words inside. Really, he looks like he's sulking. "Please. Don't toss out insults whose meaning you don't understand."

Someone like her can't understand, because she's never been fake herself.

"I understand."

Rin says all too quickly as she leans her head back to look up towards the ceiling. "That's pretty much what I am."

If she wasn't faking the hero act here in the City (magi are self-centered after all), it was acting as though she were a cold-blooded magus (when all she can think about is others). Everything she's done up until now has been an act just about; being tough when she's weak, saying it was alright to be alone when it was ripping her apart, and allowing Archer to continue down his self-destructive path when she promised otherwise.

Automatically, he starts to reply with a negation. She can't understand. Rin Tohsaka is too real for that. Even when she's weak and awkward and hurting from trying too hard to be cold and alone, her kindness is more real than anything he's known. Her smile holds more meaning.

He wouldn't say something like that, of course. He'd just tell her she's wrong--

But she says more than that she understands. She says it's what she is. His eyes widen, and he shifts forward abruptly, going forward from sitting down against the wall to on his knees and reaching out to her. He can't say why, but he wants to touch her to affirm to her that she's anything but fake.

It doesn't work, though. She's sitting too far away, behind a pile of blankets and pillows, and anyway he can't touch her right now, she's in her underwear! It was a stupid thought anyway. He drops his outstretched hand and looks down at the floor again. "...as my Master, you should know better than to say that, Rin." That's all he can say instead. Even if a minute ago he accused her of not being a proper Master who could really use a decent Servant.

"I'm not a very good Master or a magus, hell I think I'm an awful human being too at times."

He's not the only self destructive individual in the room and it shows even though Rin follows all of that up with a light laugh. If she laughs about it, then it's not as serious as a topic as it really was.

"I like to think that this place is giving me another chance. Maybe this time I'll be a Master fit for a Servant of your caliber and we can do good here. That's my goal at least. It isn't an ideal one, but it's something to get me up in the morn--achoo!"

Sheepishly diving her face into the pillow, the rest of her words are drowned out by the fabric muffling her embarrassment.

His hand lowers to his side again. His fists clench. He doesn't believe her when she laughs. No, she can try to hide it if she wants, but that she can say things like that to him is only more proof that he's not the one who can support her. Someone should be with her to keep her safe and keep her smiling, but--

The sneeze clears his head of such thoughts. It's not that it's anything profound. It's just that she made a sound like she's sick, and now he finds himself rising to his feet, all the familiar self-loathing and regret suddenly fenced off in his head behind a more urgent need.

Archer gets to his feet and glances down at her. "Shall I pick you up and put you back in the bed, Master? You'd probably kick and scream, so that's a bad idea. Instead I'm going to make you tea. I'll be sure to have soup for you tomorrow."

"If you do that, I'll certainly kill you."

Rin doesn't hesitate to throw out a typical death threat as she hides her face behind the pillow. If only she can catch on to the trick behind Archer's mentality, that he constantly needs to be taking care of her no matter what, then she just might have discovered a weakness. For now, she just cranes her neck to look up towards him with a red nose.

"I'm fine, Archer. It'd be irresponsible of me to grow sick after what I did and even if I do, then it's a consequence I should handle myself."

She's cute when she glares into the pillow like that. It's not exactly that he stands there and thinks, 'Rin is cute like this'; it's more that the knowledge comes to him as if granted by the Grail. Before he realizes it, he's leaning down and reaching to touch her hair.

His fingers are, well, a hairsbreadth away from her when it occurs to him what he's doing. Hurriedly, before the unthinkable can happen, he diverts his hand and instead pulls a corner of a blanket more tightly over her shoulders. "Unbelievable," he says, his tone as exasperated as ever. "Well, I'm going to make tea and soup for a sick woman, and if this one who can't possibly be sick wants to take it instead, that's fine."

"Stupid Archer. I never gave you permission to make food for anyone else so you should cut that out. I'll just get jealous if you're off spending meals with other ladies and then I'll be forced to act drastically. I'll kill them and then the heroes of this City will want to hurt me so I'll have to take them out too. In short, don't push me into taking those measures."

It spills out suddenly and despite it being laced with her anxiety over Archer caring for someone else more than her, the effect is lost only by how horrible it sounds when she tries to breathe out her nose.

"Besides, if you want me to get my rest proper you should help me into bed." Didn't she just tell him otherwise? Yes, yes she did. Her mind changes as much as her mood at times. "You'd have to tuck me in and feel my forehead to make sure I don't have a fever. Oh! I'll be expecting a kiss too."

Teasing gone too far? Possibly.

It's really easy to dismiss it when she says things like that to him normally. They're mostly meaningless. He touches Rin when he needs to protect her or assist her, and if she speaks of jealousy and kisses, he rolls his eyes and ignores it. So why has it gotten so difficult lately? Why is it difficult now, when he just barely refrained from stroking her hair fondly?

"Lower your expectations." He tries to snap it, but it comes out as an embarrassed mutter, and he has to turn his head away so she doesn't see his blush. "Ah, however...no matter what you do, expect tea."

"Aren't they already pretty low?"

Talking about being kissed by Archer and all. No matter, she enjoys the teasing well enough. "Fine, tea. I can settle for tea."

"That's acceptable." He turns to head for the exit leading back to the rest of the apartment. Once he's there, though, he hesitates, one hand on the door. "Rin. Do you want me to stay with you after the tea is done...?"

He knows he shouldn't ask. But the thought of waiting here at her bedside, knowing that she's happy to have him there...it's good, it's a good thought.

He's asking?

Maybe it would be alright if she got dressed and could sit up in bed with Archer nearby. Even then, falling asleep with him sitting beside her might be nice just as well. Before she knows it, her mind is off in another place where if she's cold, Archer's arms are there to warm her. With his breath on her ear, she wonders why he still has to breathe if he's a Servant and--!!

"GEEZ!" It's a sudden outcry to cut herself from thinking as she hides her completely red face in the pillow. "What do you think?!"

Before he knows it, he's smiling smugly. Like when they first met in her shattered living room. When he could make her blush with just an expression of confidence. "I think you're unduly flustered, Master." He likes it when she's unduly flustered. "You let the last cup of tea I made you get cold--" He nods towards the nightstand. "So I'll stay here to make sure you drink this one. There's no reason to make a face like that about it."

"Oh, I can still put it to use. Come here and bend over so I can dump it over your stupid head!"

He may be unable to make most of that out due to her mouth eating folds of fabric as she attempts to hide. Maybe if she shoves her face in deep enough she'll disappear into the feathers.

"...This pillow does have feathers in it, doesn't it?" She doesn't wait for his answer before she's holding it out away from her despite how exposed that leaves her. "I've been sleeping with a cheap pillow this entire time?! I'm going to kill you!"

"Agh--" And like that, his composure disappears. It was one thing to undress Rin when she was soaking wet and needed to be drier, but looking at her in her underwear like that? He slaps one hand over his eyes. "It has feathers! They're synthetic, but why should that matter? You're impossible as usual."

But he's fine with that. If she's feeling well enough to be impossible, she can't be too ill.

"I want real feathers."

Mostly so she can bitch about them poking her in the middle of the night because Rin has to have something to complain about at all times. She doesn't even comprehend that she's baring herself for him. It's only after she throws the pillow at him in her frustration does she realize it.

"Don't you dare look, Archer! I'll kill you! Then I'll go to the tower and kill you again!"

"These are better for your neck than real feathers," he starts to insist, but he's swiftly derailed by her fury.

He clasps his other hand over his face as well. "I'm not looking! I have perfectly good self-preservation instincts, you know."

He's too caught up in his panic to even realize the irony of that statement.

"Are you really that worried for my neck that you'd deny me the simple pleasures of life?"

Right now she doesn't catch on. Later on, when she's thinking back on this moment, she'll remember that Archer said that about himself and it'll make her smile.

"Please... please just make your way out of my room and get that tea."

The sky is red and the sea is blue

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