capeandcowllogs | (a bunch of people are pissed off.)

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(a bunch of people are pissed off.)

WHO: cross marian (

ioudas) and a bunch of people who are pissed off at him (& maybe a new friend!)
WHERE: around the city
WHEN: saturday morning - sunday night
WARNINGS: once again, cross
SUMMARY: Cross is finally back in the City, not without consequence.
FORMAT: quick.

(He doesn't want to be back in the City, but he doesn't feel like he should be anywhere else. Since his travels to the many water worlds weren't all that adventurous (who knew that some things didn't change), he was restless. He couldn't stay at home because timcampy had taken to watching his every move and even when he was out, he was sure that the tiny gold golem was watching him.

So, he set out to do what he always does as a consequence of his bad decisions- make more of them.)

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(The moment that she says that she cared for him makes it even worse. He doesn't flinch when she slaps him, utterly deserving her scorn.)

I-

(He has nothing to say. Cross rubs the side of his face, Timcampy racing into the room because of the resounding noise before fluttering and showing solidarity with Lillian and settling on her lap.

Cross mouths "traitor", but even Tim's that mad at him?)

Everything is really messed up because of me, huh?

[ lil doesn't answer right away, and her expression stays angry. but at least when her hands find timpcampy, she's gentle enough -- appreciating, maybe, having someone on her side.

she knows it's not fair to blame everything on cross. it's not all his fault. some of it's her fault, and some of the blame goes elsewhere. some of it's just shit luck. but that doesn't stop her voice from sounding resentful when she speaks again: ]

Y'bein' gone sure as hell didn't make it any goddamn better.

(Somehow, Cross's golem has grown fat enough to lie on her lap like some giant cat. Even as he's mouthing the word "traitor" at him, he really can't blame either of them.)

To be fair, I was dead for 10 days.

(Timcampy might be getting her lap wet, he's going to start crying in a second and it's heartbreaking.)

... Lillian, I'm a traitor.

[ it's a small distraction, that poor crying golem in her lap. she isn't heartless -- far from it. maybe she feels everything a little too strongly. but at least she's patting timcampy right now, instead of getting violent. there's always that potential, with lil. things can always get worse. ]

What the hell's that supposed t'mean?

I betrayed God.

(He coughs, somewhat bitter. But, there's a very stark difference in him now. Rather than brushing it off with some nonchalant comment or playing the fool, he sounds tired and wry.)

Remember, I told you about something called Innocence, right?

[ she doesn't look at him, letting timcampy hold her attention for the moment. ]

Yeah, I remember somethin' like that. [ a light pause. ] Why, what's it matter now?

(He starts out trying to say so many things, but he stops. Maybe just getting to the point would help.)

A long time ago, the Vatican implemented a program where it would take children of Exorcists and implant Innocence in them. I was ... (tricked into helping? had to see a child die? who knows what his research did to them?) exposed to the results of the experimentation. They're called Fallen, or Fallen Apostles. Their tissue degrades as the Innocence punishes them for attempting to conform. They die terrible, terrible deaths, and they're completely innocent. All they wanted to do was serve God and save humanity.

(It's the one thing that gets him somewhat emotional, because while he hasn't subjected Allen to that, he's subjected him to something far, far worse.)

Then there's people like me, who hate the Innocence because of what it has done to humans. In essence, this could happen to me as well, but with a dire consequence. My body would be consumed by my hatred for it, and I would turn to kill everything in my path because of it. of course, that's just one documented case of an Exorcist that gave the location of every known one in the world, but what I am attempting to do is more grievous.

I ran because I didn't know if that would happen to me.

[ the truth is she only listens so far -- because she's lillian crawley, and she doesn't care much about explanations so much as the throbbing, visceral feelings lodged tight in her chest. madison's excuses and explanations and apologies only ever went so far with her too.

at length, she looks up at him. the anger hasn't left her face yet, even if it's subdued by her exhaustion. ]

Maybe facin' whatever y'could've become would've been better than y'just leavin'. Maybe that would've hurt less.

(That makes him so angry, that he sits up and stares at her with this incredulous look.)

So, what? You'd want me to kill all those people until I can't draw any breath and have this cycle of death and destruction be me because it spares your feelings.

(Cross is upset and scared, he can barely breathe just thinking about it.)

And you think that's it? Those are all of my problems?

I don't know.

[ she snaps back, automatically responding to his anger with more of her own. that's easier than whatever she was feeling before -- that undefined, painful something. but she never claimed she wasn't a selfish bitch -- she knows that she is -- and she isn't sorry, not really. maybe that's the worst part.

she sets tim aside, off her lap, because she knows her tendency is violence with anger. ]

What the hell d'you want from me? Y'want me t'tell you I'm sorry y'went through all that? Y'want me to t'say I'm sorry that I don't goddamn understand you? Y'want me t'leave y'alone?

(His temper flares, and something happens; the mirror shatters behind him for no reason. Cross somehow seems darker, like a fundamental shift just happened as he gets angrier and angrier at her.)

I have given you all. (It isn't clear who he's talking to because the drapes soon start to catch fire, but he doesn't care.)

Don't come to me asking for a reason and then that reason not be good enough. It isn't about Madison and it isn't about you, it's about me and my own damn problems.

[ this is going to hell. quickly. the angrier he gets, the more defensively angry she gets -- and the shattering glass, the drapes aflame, that doesn't help. it doesn't stop lil either, 'cause she's crazy and invulnerable and she'd rather argue with him than stop because of collateral damage. ]

Who said anythin' about goddamn Madison? [ it's too soon to talk about her missing husband. it just pisses her off. ] He mighta run from me, but at least he didn't do it while I was spreadin' my legs for him.

[ fed up, she storms over to the drapes, unconcerned with the broken glass and rips them down effortlessly, smothering the flames under her feet with impatience and bad temper. ]

God, just -- deal with your goddamn problems then. See if I give a damn.

I guess it's just back to the status-quo, isn't it? (He gets irritated and waves a hand, the flames going out.)

If that's all you wanted it to be, then you're in great shape to find a replacement.

(Cross needs a drink, badly. His head hurts, his face hurts, everything just hurts. It's so rare that he loses his temper in such a way, and in the state that he's in, it can't be great.)

I'm not Madison, so either punch me or leave me alone. Either way, I don't care.

I don't need or want you t'be goddamn Madison.

[ she closes distance between them way too effortlessly with the length of her legs, grabbing him by the clothes and giving him a good shake. ]

Stop sayin' y'don't care. Stop talkin' about us like it was just sex. Y'just -- [ she makes a frustrated noise from between her teeth. ] You make me so goddamn crazy, y'know that?

You made me set my drapes on fire. (Maybe he shouldn't want to kiss her, but she has him in her grip and he can't escape.)

Would you think any lower of me if I said I was- (Scared.) a little lost?

You -- no.

[ she's exasperated, maybe a little confused and definitely still angry. ]

God, I'm already so fuckin' pissed off at you. Y'tellin' me y'feel a little goddamn lost's probably the least goddamn offensive thing you've said to me all goddamn morning.

I'm going to die, Lillian. (It's so stupid to tell her of all people, but he never thought that Cross Marian would be facing his mortality.

Or, it wasn't that. Death meant that there was a finite end, a plan that had been set in motion that will come to conclusion. For Cross, it's uncertain because of the players involved.)

Y'already died.

[ her grip on him does loosen a little though. ]

No, I mean, I am going to die. When I return, I only have the cold of death to await me.

(his shoulders slump slightly. maybe it was what needed to be done, that his death would be the catalyst that would get everything turning. but, until then, it still sucked.)

It's not how I imagined going out.

I don't fuckin' understand. Why are you --

[ she stops, frustrated, letting go of him and backing away like she needs the space or she might spontaneously combust. ]

This ain't even my goddamn problem anymore.

[ she doesn't even know what she's doing there, not really. ]

(He looks at her, realizing his moment of weakness before pushing himself away and straightening himself up. He does his hair nonchalantly, as this whole thing was a huge inconvenience and becoming guarded once more.)

It's not, really. You don't have to be here and we don't have to acknowledge this ever happened.

(A slight depression is in his voice, but he's made his bed and now he has to lie in it.)

[ her voice comes accusing and demanding at once, her anger seeming to grow as he raises his guard to her again. ]

Acknowledge what ever happened? Today? You leavin'? Or us?

Today.

(He can't do this, he's too tired.) Us made me happy, but fate ruined it.

Fate ain't the one that broke up with me.

I thought I was going to die in Nepal. (Didn't they just have this argument?)

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glassbox - 2013-05-03 06:17 (UTC) - Expand

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ioudas - 2013-05-03 06:22 (UTC) - Expand

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