capeandcowllogs | The weary world rejoices

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The weary world rejoices

WHO: OPEN
WHERE: The Church
WHEN: From today and onto the New Year!
WARNINGS: Kirei.....
SUMMARY: Rejoice, Cityzens! The Church is hosting an event for the holiday season: accepting donations and offering dinner for all those in need during this harsh December! Donate yourself or take part in some free food. You don't have to worship to take part, but you may get a priest breathing down your neck about that.
FORMAT: Whatever you please!

Even in this day and age, certain tired methods of communication remain. A Church flyer is a old tradition and the City has had several passed by hand, or stapled onto walls. They are all advertising open invitations not just for worship but for food on behalf of the City's generous inhabitants -- regardless of beliefs or credo. On top of that, there is a certain tagline which appeals to the City's imPorts:

Be a Hero to one less fortunate than you this holiday season.

It's a sticky, blatant piece of baiting; hamfisted and obvious. Of course, no Church has ever really excelled at subtlety. Guilt is a powerful motivator, especially this time of year. That shows in the turn out: there is quite a few natives already participating, which leads to generous spread.

The Church is welcoming all without distinction -- however, you'll only get to taste wine if you're one of the faithful.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I thought not. [ He props his arm on the back of the pew, resting his elbow against it while he rests his head against his fist. He regards her on a tilt, his lips still smiling. ]

And yet here you are, so something must have drawn you here.

I would not be so self absorbed to assume it was myself.

[ she doesn't answer immediately, perhaps because there isn't any one simple answer that can be summed up in a few plain words. it's any number of things-- her desire for a quiet place, the presence of a friend. at length, she settles for: ]

I was curious, I suppose. Considering the traditional significance of today, I thought a church might be an appropriate place to observe humans for a while. I had noticed how the behavior of those who observe this holiday changes significantly in correlation with the season.

[ a light pause, then less clinically, though no less unreadably: ]

I also expected to see you.

I see: more attempts at education. You certainly have come to the right place.

[ He smiles, faintly, at the admission. They're different, the two of them, but alike in enough ways to matter. Danger doesn't understand humanity, unlike Kirei who can -- he simply feels no satisfaction from the endeavor. ]

You can always ask questions of me, if you would prefer. [ The offer comes easily. ] I have quite enough experience in these matters.

[ she's a curious, inquisitive being-- naive in ways, despite the vastness of her manufactured intelligence. it might be difficult to imagine that behind that passive, alien face is a young and inexperienced entity, distant and separate from the other living things around her.

she watches him now, still memorizing that smile, still learning its shape since the day he returned to her, ten years older.

at length, simply: ]

But you are not like them.

[ Ah.

Perhaps another person would not speak so boldly out of courtesy -- or simply because they did not know that as the truth. Danger does not speak with accusation, it's a simple statement, and Kirei's expression shifts slightly.

He lowers his arm from the back of the bench, folding his hands neatly in his lap instead. ]

No, I am not.

[ He is past denying that -- especially to her. With Danger, he can speak freely. ]

But I can understand them.

[ she thinks she can too, sometimes-- but then, just when humans begin to make sense to her, they manage to somehow surprise her. maybe it's because she isn't one of them. maybe it's because she hardly understands herself.

her eyes follow his hands as he folds them before coming back to rest on his face. ]

We are outsiders, Kirei. We can only ever have an outsider's perspective.

[ Something in his face changes. His smile thins, into the more stoic expression which she is more familiar with.

The truth is, it would be easier if he could not understand humanity. It would be simpler if he was incapable of knowing right or wrong, if he was senselessly and unknowingly twisted. The fact that he can tell the difference, that he knows good from evil, makes his damage deeper. He knows what a normal human is meant to do, and meant to want -- he simply does not feel it himself.

It would be easier to be ignorant.

After a moment, his hand moves again: leaving his lap and extending towards her. ]

Are you at ease with that fate?

[ her attention drifts to that hand, how he extends it to gesture towards her. unconsciously, in a thoughtless way that's nearly impossible in her mechanical form, her fingers tighten in her own lap, curling of their own accord. ]

It is possible that I will exist for a very long time. [ she finally speaks, her voice ever quiet and steady, mechanical in its own way. ] I don't wish to be an outsider forever.

[ she doesn't know what makes her crave understanding so much. is it merely a symptom of her sentience? or the neglect of her creator? ]

I want to be accepted.

[ When he sees her fingers tighten, he wonders if that is an unconscious withdrawal from his advance. He takes a moment, before he lays his hand over hers, where they rest in her lap.

He hadn't thought of that: her prolonged existence.

Danger is like no one else he has ever known. She is not like his father or his teacher, who misunderstood him. Nor is she like Gilgamesh, who fashioned and fed the flames of only what appealed to him as entertainment -- she is genuine. She supports him. ]

I accept you.

[ she allows him to touch her without comment. ordinarily, she might outright refuse it-- after all, she is always overly conscious of how sensitive and fragile her human skin can be-- but instead, she purposefully uncurls her fingers under his as she quietly considers the weight of his hand, the way the skin of his palm feels.

but what he says immediately draws the weight of her attention. she stares unreadably, that passive face impenetrable for a long moment before her expression subtly changes, softening at the edges.

she's moved. ]

...Thank you, Kirei.

I accept you too.

[ It's something he has never been offered.

Claudia loved him, while being aware of his darkness, but she did not have the experience which binds himself and Danger so close. Claudia wanted to prove there was a goodness in him, that he had the capacity for love, and in that she was misguided. Danger has none of those very human expectations. She simply listens, and she accepts what he tells her without trying to resolve him in what image she imagines is correct -- not like Claudia, or Gilgamesh. Those two both thought they had the answer, on the very opposite ends of the spectrum, but neither carried a true solution. Danger has no such issue. She simply wants him to find satisfaction... the same way she desires that for herself.

Danger is a friend: one made without deception or misconception. She is real. ]

Considering the date, I should have prepared something for you.

[ After a moment, he takes her hand in his own and turns it around, leaving her palm upright. That done, he withdraws to remove the cross from around his neck, resting it in the center of her hand.

His lips quirk, and he speaks, mirroring her earlier response: ]

I believe it might suit you.

[ she allows him to turn her hand without resistance, a little curious as he takes the cross from around his neck and sets it into her palm. a gift, she realizes. he means for her to keep it.

she closes her fist around it, feeling the edges of the cross bite into her skin before she lifts it, draping the chain around her neck. the religious significance of it means very little to her-- but perhaps it can symbolize something she does understand. something more personal.

her fingers carefully center the cross against her chest, her attention lingering on where it hangs in a considering way. the question is curious and sincere when she responds: ]

Does it suit me?

[ Kirei watches the motions as she places the cross around her neck, his smile spreading.

For a moment, he expected her to reject it. She has no fascination for God, or faith, and yet she accepts this gift. Perhaps she accepts it as a token from his, rather than a token of God? Regardless, it pleases him to see her wear it. ]

I believe it does -- and very well.

I am glad you came today, Danger.

[ it's a strange sort of kinship. despite knowing his vices, and understanding what he calls his defect, she feels a certain solidarity with him, something reassuring in being with someone that is like her in the ways that would separate her from most other people. she had spent so much time alone in the darkness, wanting someone to hear her. it's fulfilling, this companionship.

when he speaks again, she looks up at him, something a little more open in her face than the usual flat passivity. ]

I am also glad. [ she pauses slightly, hand lingering on the cross another moment before it falls away. ] I had thought that perhaps things might be somewhat uncomfortable between us.

[ Absently, he wonders if either of them can really be called 'glad' by the usual definition. Then again, maybe that has changed -- and between the two of them, they can reach some mockery of regular emotion.

When Danger continues, he pauses. ]

And what makes you imagine that? [ Then, it occurs to him: ] Ah, do you mean that incident two week ago?

[ maybe true gladness is still foreign to her. she never smiles-- not even now, with the weight of his gift resting against her sternum and the reassurance of his acceptance easing the turbulent thoughts in her mind. but there's a quiet sort of satisfaction about her, something like contentment that makes her serious face just slightly less severe when she glances at him. ]

Yes. [ she confirms after a beat. ] I was unsure if it would somehow affect our friendship. Humans can be particular about such things.

[ Even without her smile, he does not doubt her sincerity. Danger has no reason to lie to him -- and as far as he knows, she never has. Nor has he lied to her, or even misled her. It is a humbling sort of thing to realize. ]

Ah, but you already pointed out that I am not like other humans. [ He reminds lightly. ] The most complaint that can be made was how you did not ask permission.

[ she takes a moment to consider him before replying, gauging his face and voice. the incident doesn't seem to have caused any irreparable damage after all-- and he is more amiable enough, given the circumstances. probably more so than she would have been, if it she had been subject to such a spontaneous display.

at length, she answers: ]

I will accept your response at face value then. If it was not so unpleasant for you, then it seems impractical to let it trouble me further. [ a slight beat, before she goes on: ] Taking into account my inexperience, I'm appreciative of your honesty.

[ Kirei chuckles, softly, under his breath as he replies. ] Not unpleasant at all.

[ Perhaps if he found more pleasure in such things, displays of physical affection, he would have cause for offense. But such things have never moved him. He has not learned how to use such gestures in a manner which appeals to him.

Her mention of inexperience, however, draws his attention. ]

Yes, I remember: the man you loved disliked such things.

Pity.

[ by contrast, maybe she is too affected by such displays-- especially for a being that can hardly feel them in her natural form. still, she's never forgotten the emotions that swelled in her circuits the first time madison jeffries kissed her cold metal mouth. it had made her feel like a real woman, something she'd never had before.

there's something in kirei's company-- in the way he acknowledges her, in the weight of his gift around her neck-- that evokes a similar feeling. ]

He could only accept me half-way. In the flesh, I was not the same to him. He feared me. [ her tone is quiet and somewhat distant, clinical in the way she separates herself from the words. ] Skin and bones ruined the illusion of what he imagined me to be. Or perhaps what he hoped I would be.

It is his loss.

[ Kirei supposes he is used to a similar sentiment. Tokiomi Tohsaka imagined him to be something he wasn't, as did his father, and as did his wife. However, he was never pained by this. Empty as he was, it was difficult to make him sink any lower.

Danger, in all her artificial nature, still proves more human than his pure flesh and blood. ]

Are people not often afraid of you? [ He says suddenly. ] In all your power?

[ she finds herself both appreciative and skeptical of what he says first. the thought itself is reassuring-- the idea that it was madison who had lost something, and not her-- but she still feels the pangs of being without him sometimes. for all his flaws, he had been her companion, and he had claimed to love her. love is something she craves, even now.

kirei's question draws her attention again. danger pauses before responding: ]

Yes. Humans especially are commonly afraid of what they cannot understand. To them, I am alien and separate. But their fear is not always misplaced. I have been, at times, an angry and violent entity. [ another light beat. ] But you are not afraid of me, are you, Kirei?

You have given me no reason to fear you.

[ It would be easy to attribute that confident to his own strength, and assurance that he could hold his own against her. Or, perhaps, his own empty life, how he has no real fear of death (once, he may have had the desperate desire to see his wish fulfilled, and that would cause him to fight for his life tooth and nail, but now there is no Grail to strive towards). However, it is not that; it's something more. ]

Because I understand you. It is not any more complicated than that.

Your anger is only justified.

[ because i understand you.

unconsciously, she takes a soft, but audible inhale. logically, they're only words-- simple words, the kind that anyone could say, but something about him saying them strikes a chord in her. some part of her had never let go of wanting to be understood more than anything. without understanding, she was isolated-- neither fully belonging with humans or machines.

her hands tighten in her lap again, compelled by emotion that is deceptively muted on her face and in her quiet voice. ]

That may be true. But your understanding of me doesn't protect you. I am more volatile than I seem.

[ That actually gives him pause.

He has understood Danger is a being designed for violence; it was her purpose. Likewise, Kirei was trained as an Executor when he was still a child. He thought the two ideas compared, but what Danger implies now is something else. ]

What do you mean by that?

Do you imagine you might hurt me?

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