capeandcowllogs | The weary world rejoices

Entry tags:

The weary world rejoices

WHO: OPEN
WHERE: The Church
WHEN: From today and onto the New Year!
WARNINGS: Kirei.....
SUMMARY: Rejoice, Cityzens! The Church is hosting an event for the holiday season: accepting donations and offering dinner for all those in need during this harsh December! Donate yourself or take part in some free food. You don't have to worship to take part, but you may get a priest breathing down your neck about that.
FORMAT: Whatever you please!

Even in this day and age, certain tired methods of communication remain. A Church flyer is a old tradition and the City has had several passed by hand, or stapled onto walls. They are all advertising open invitations not just for worship but for food on behalf of the City's generous inhabitants -- regardless of beliefs or credo. On top of that, there is a certain tagline which appeals to the City's imPorts:

Be a Hero to one less fortunate than you this holiday season.

It's a sticky, blatant piece of baiting; hamfisted and obvious. Of course, no Church has ever really excelled at subtlety. Guilt is a powerful motivator, especially this time of year. That shows in the turn out: there is quite a few natives already participating, which leads to generous spread.

The Church is welcoming all without distinction -- however, you'll only get to taste wine if you're one of the faithful.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Which raises interesting questions about the Original Sin, as it implies that either humanity wasn't meant for that knowledge, or that their punishment had been within the plan from the beginning. It's difficult really to tell which, but from the narrative, you would imagine it's the first.

[ she speaks very much like someone in a book club, because she might've done a bit more recent reading due to knowing she'd be here tonight. and that's how they talk about the bible in church, right? ]

Er--

[ He hesitates, considering the story; not that he's unfamiliar, because who doesn't know Adam and Eve, but biblical analysis always makes him hesitate. Nelson has complex feelings about the bible. ]

That must be why they tell you "ignorance is bliss" -- though I think there are limits. Some things you're happier not knowing, but others... well, I'm sure everyone has one or two things they don't feel they could live without knowing.

[ and complex feelings are difficult to appreciate when you're approaching the subject like a tourist, the way she is. ]

But it didn't seem as if the choice between those facets was available. Just all or nothing. If you could forget the things you didn't want at the cost of the things you couldn't part with, would it be worth it?

I think I'd rather live with both, personally.

Well, in the barest of terms. We're not limited the way they were in the story.

[ His lips tighten and he rubs his mouth nervously before taking another sip from his cider. ]

But I do think you need both. You, uh... need one to appreciate the other. Difficult as it may be. Life can't just be a picnic -- it's the struggle that makes it meaningful.

And often the struggle is itself to derive meaning from it, yes. I suppose it's like good and evil that way, in that it's difficult to practice the one with no conception for the other, your appreciation for joy is deepened when you know suffering.

[ which is maybe not entirely true, at least not always, but she certainly wants to think it might be. ]

Precisely. Really, you can't know success until you've had to climb your way out of failure first. There's nothing like having to work for something to make you appreciate it.

[ He smiles uneasily at that. It's a very simplified summation, but in his eyes no less accurate. ]

As long as you remember that sometimes you never stop working for them.

[ her brows knit in thought, but mostly agreement. ]

Oh, absolutely. Few things worth having are freely given. [ but that bit of thought gives her pause. ] ...Though I suppose it's the ones that are most significant that are impossible to earn. Which is still no excuse to make no effort, as the most we can do is hope to deserve them.

[ Oh, ouch. For a teenage girl Kanaya has insights that startle Nelson a bit... intimidating if only because they are often things he'd rather not face the reality of.

Still, there is an easy way to frame it in his mind. ]

Difficult, yes, I wouldn't say necessarily impossible. Maybe it's the Marine in me speaking, but you don't go in to fight a battle you have no hope of winning. Or resolving at the very least. Sometimes the odds may be against you, but victory is rarely out of reach completely. [ He pauses. ] And if you have earned something, there should be no question about deserving it or not, if you ask me.

[ she shakes her head. love is a very complicated thing, but if there's one thing she knows about it for sure, it's that the only battle she fights for it is with herself. ]

But when it must be given, I don't think the attitude that we've earned it is the right one. Often it can be more in spite of our striving than because of it.

The best we can do is make ourselves someone worthy of being offered that gift.

[ Nelson's brow furrows uneasily. ]

Um...

[ He has conflicting feelings about that sentiment, though it's difficult to pinpoint why. ]

Well-- in those cases, how are you ever supposed to know if you're good enough? Sometimes it isn't about being worthy, it's about holding on to what you have while you still do have it.

[ "because they haven't left you" is on the tip of her tongue, but she could do better as far as phrasing goes. ]

I don't suppose there really is a way to be certain. Just to know what you are receiving, and that even you are is itself a miracle.

Tell me, is it really something you have, or is it something that has you? [ is it as simple as that? hardly, but it's the way she at least wants to think she sees it, more possessed than possessing. of course, she's far too clingy in practice for it to be entirely true. ]

[ Listening to Kanaya does wonders for the self-esteem, truly. Nelson mulls over the words, though, unable to find much fault in them. He can't deny that anything he has now is a miracle, nor that there's any question of real possession when it comes to himself and Hooded Justice. ]

... Something to always think about, I suppose. Better to know where you stand than let yourself be blinded. [ In general, at least. Preferences aside. ] It's the only way you can prepare yourself for what you should expect. People are unpredictable, after all.

[ she could be a self esteem repellent, it's true. if she were more enterprising, she could even be paid for it. become a professional downer. ]

I suppose. But that really only necessitates that you know both yourself and them, as you should generally in these situations. It will rarely be made explicit, but if you're aware of what to look for already, it isn't too hard to recognize.

Right. As one should.

[ Though he's not particularly convincing, frowning still. He can't really claim to know Hooded Justice at all. Nelson has some more cider and sets his glass aside. ]

It's funny, you have got a way of cutting right to the heart of the matter. But then, were it only as simple as acting upon what we know is reasonable, there would have been no Garden of Eden dilemma to begin with.

[ she's going to feel a bit vindicated by that. you can't imply that she's wise beyond her years without expecting her to preen a little. ]

I think it's likely that my heart is older than I looked. Perhaps it started beating long before the rest had formed.

[ she hums thoughtfully, tilting her head to the side as she considers the rest of his point. they'd gotten a bit off track, hadn't they? ]

But I think that is the problem. They had no opportunity to make a decision reasonably, as reason is something they lacked until the decision was already made. It is said to be a significant step in a child's development to rebel against their father, and this one disowned them as a consequence.

I'd rather be without than have a father like that. [ but then, she's without already. ]

[ Bask in it, Kanaya, because you may well be t he only teenager he's ever said that to. ]

That's-- well. Some of us just catch onto the way of things early on, it isn't a bad thing. If anything it prepares you for all of life's challenges you'll encounter as you grow old.

[ He smiles uneasily, nodding in, if not agreement, at least understanding. ]

My father was always a very patient man... better to learn that way, I think, than to have it all taken away at once when you aren't even quite sure what it is you've done wrong.

My mother was much the same way. [ whether in spite of or because of the fact that she never did anything more than clicking and chirping for the first thirteen years is anyone's guess. ] I never had any sort of mystery to solve when I'd done something wrong, and she always stressed understanding over punishment.

[ if there were any greater proof that kanaya is not her mother, well, there you have it. ]

Though, even with the expectations I had on me, I can't help wondering if she hadn't treated me too lightly, if I hadn't come out of it unprepared. Things have certainly been more complicated since she died, but I think that was inevitable, given the circumstances.

[ He nods again in more sincere understanding. ]

Both my parents did what they could, but my father was the one invested in preparing me for the world; my mother was more concerned about protecting me from it. I'm thankful now for their patience. [ But though his father might have passed, his mother is actually still alive. ] I'm sorry to hear it. Granted, loss does force a person into independence, but that doesn't make it any easier to bear.

[ she just smiles somberly. it was a big deal to her, but she will never be ready to openly discuss how big a deal it was to her. ]

It couldn't be helped, we both knew that it was coming, and how important everything that followed would be. And learning to move on beyond the past will always be just as important a part of life.

[ The significance is of course lost on him -- the specifics of it, that is -- but death and loss themselves Nelson can understand very well.

Learning to move on beyond the past tho. What does that mean? ]

Preparing yourself for that sort of thing always does help you to accept it once it finally happens. But-- well, a person can't help how they feel. All we can really do is try to be at peace with ourselves.

[ it's a bit like a ball chained to her ankle, the past. something she'll cheerily acknowledge the lock on as if it's such an easy thing to open. yet, in the meantime, she still lacks the key. ]

I don't know. I think on some level we can help it. At least we can control what those feelings lead us to do.

[ It should be straightforward, but it isn't, it still isn't after all this time. Nelson considers what she says regardless, but it's with an uncertainty that he rejects it as possible for himself. Surely not. Why wouldn't he have been able to already, then? ]

Yes... of course we can control how we act on our feelings, but-- well, it isn't the same thing.

[ He smiles slightly, though, shrugging his shoulders. ]

It's all in perspective, of course.

[ but it's so much easier to blame yourself for them if you think you can control them. ]

It is, but part of keeping that perspective is knowing how to reign them, to prevent them from leading to anything rash. Or having them expressed in any visible way.

[ This is where denial and hypocrisy are good tools to have at the ready. It applies to other people, for sure...

He nods his head. ]

It takes practice. If you can make it a habit to keep the feelings inside and not let others see them, sometimes you can even hide them from yourself and feel all the happier for it. [ AKA, "Denial and repression, would recommend," AKA Nelson you are being an irresponsible adult right now. ] Eventually you start to do it without even thinking about it.

[ she furrows her brows, looking down at her hands as she wrings them together. earlier this year, she'd be right there with him on that recommendation, but it never seemed to work out for her. maybe just another opportunity to blame herself, can't even repress properly. ]

It never made me happy. Not even happier. It was only enough to pretend nothing else was there, and I suppose I couldn't quite cut it with that much.

[ she looks back up at him, trying to force a smile. ] I suppose more practice is precisely what I need.

(no subject)

retropolis - 2014-03-13 13:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

glowsferatu - 2014-03-17 05:57 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only