capeandcowllogs | Knowing Ted = WACKY HIJINKS [CLOSED-ish]

Knowing Ted = WACKY HIJINKS [CLOSED-ish]

WHO: Ted Kord (Blue Beetle), Bruce Wayne (Batman), Tony Stark (Ironman), some hyenas, maybe Harley and Ivy?
WHERE: HOUSE OF IVY AND CLOWNS
WHEN: Approximately 5 PM on Tuesday
WARNINGS: Naked Ted.
SUMMARY: So, Harley sort of accidentally kidnapped Ted. Kind of. In a fit of misguided helpfulness. And left him naked on a bed. Surrounded by hyenas. Cue getting rescued.
FORMAT: WHICHEVER YOU FOLK WANNA DO THIS.

Well, last week had been... shitty. All around. For several reasons. But hey, Ted was ready to move on. Why not. He got a ton of ice cream, spent time with a few friends, and then.

AND THEN TUESDAY HAPPENED.

Seriously, he should have known that today was going to be shit when Bruce Wayne showed his face. Sheeeeesh. But no, somehow an EMP blast knocked him out. Really, he isn't even sure how that's possible.

But here he is. Sitting in someone's bed.

Naked.

With two hyenas staring happily at him.

And to think, he got into this much trouble without help from Booster.

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Kord had been surprisingly adversarial. A vendetta, perhaps, due to events in the alternate timeline. No matter. Right now, there was about a 50% chance he was going to be seriously injured by Harley's hyenas. Whether or not Kord tried to take a swing at him, whether or not Kord was one of the League members Batman held less than total respect for, whether or not Kord wanted his help, the Dark Knight was going to get him out of there alive.

Swinging down from the rooftops and landing near the house-- why was he not surprised it was covered in vines?-- and adjusted the small pack on his back, hidden under the cape with the pants Kord had asked for. While he wasn't inclined to be particularly generous to Kord, given how childish he was being, neither did he want the other hero running around without pants.

He took a moment to assess the situation before moving towards the house, darting from shadow to shadow towards the bottom floor entrance with the least amount of foliage around it, ensuring the least amount of detection by plants that might alert Ivy to his presence, though he kept one hand near his belt in case of traps or a sneak attack. As he reached the door, he quickly picked the lock and slipped inside as swiftly and silently as possible before stopping to listen for the faint cackle of hyenas, or the movements of Harley, Ivy, or even Kord in the house.

There was the thunderclap of a sonic boom as Tony passed overhead, making a wide arc to cut down his speed, and then he slowly made his landing. The jets cooled, and slowed, and Tony stepped forward, eyes scanning, brain scanning, everything he could to even simulate the level of autonomy he had experienced when he had been affected by the polymorph.

He had forgotten how clear everything had been, before he remembered just how many people got hurt.

He stepped up towards the doorway, perfectly aware of Batman's presence beyond the door. He'd been watching the entire time, after all.

He opened the door moments after Bruce, stepping in with less 'cloak and dagger' methods. He wore a suit of armor. Hyenas weren't going to be a problem.

And with Iron Man's loud entrance (clank, clank), Harley Quinn knew they had unsuspecting visitors. She abandoned the soup she was brewing for her patient and pulled her cowl on over her face to greet whomever decided to intrude. She poked her head out of the kitchen to check and--

"OH, C'MON!" She exclaimed, slapping her forehead. "I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHIN'!"

Despite the various unhelpful advice he'd received over the network, Ted remained sitting on the bed, working on various conversations with his mind. Strange, how easy it is to multitask like this.

...Honestly, though, he wonders about his brain. Maybe a doctor's visit would be smart. He's presuming that's what caused him to black out, anyway.

Wwwait.

Something mechanical down below?

He shouldn't be too worried (but he does anyway, grudges aside), being that hyenas aren't much in comparison to. You know. Aliens and monsters and crap every day.

And that would be Harley shouting. Aww, jeez.

Poison Ivy in turn was on her way to check on their unconscious (as far as she knew anyway) guest when the racket made her turn on her heel and... Just... Stare. Seriously? Seriously?! You break one person out of an insane asylum and they send in a freaking metal suit?!

If we survive this, I'm moving to Brazil. She addressed the one she recognized at least (and she should have known, SHE SHOULD HAVE FREAKIN' KNOWN HE'D BE HERE), but kept an eye trained on the metal suit, "My my, Batman, to what do we owe this privilege?"

Typical.

Acts just like Bruce Wayne. Plays a hero just like Clark.

This didn't have to be a fight. This could have gone quietly. There was a 70% chance he could have gotten Kord in and out without being detected, or at least quickly enough for them to escape pursuit.

Instead, he and the so-called Iron Man were now facing down two very-angry Rogues, and while either of them could have dispatched of the hyenas easily, now they were rooms away from him, making him an ideal hostage.

Wonderful.

His expression was even more grim and serious than usual as he faced the duo, due in no small part to his last encounter with the Poison Ivy of his world. He had no idea if she had done the same to the Bruce Wayne of her own world, but whether she had or not, the anger from that incident still flared strong upon seeing her again.

Still, he didn't let his anger rule him. They had the hostage. What was important wasn't taking these two-- arguably, two of the less lethal Gothamites-- but saving Kord. No use in giving away Kord's real identity- there was no proof they knew, especially given their surprise.

"We're here for the man you kidnapped."

From beneath his faceplate, Tony smirked. He delved deeper into the Extremis, the swarm of information from everything within a large radius filling his head. He reached out, curious if Kord would realize that he was in the building, and would be able to interface with him.

"Just hand him over, and there won't be any problems, ladies," he said smoothly. "I wouldn't want to bruise that beautiful skin, after all."

Smooth as butter, even digitalized, and Tony Stark was good at this.

"KIDNAPPED? KIDNAPPED?!" Harley screamed, ignoring any buttering up or threats coming her way. Who did these bozos think they were?

Harley flailed her arms and gestured towards the room where Ted was being kept. She was red in the face and about ready to throw some bombs at Batman's butt.

"I FOUND THE POOR FAT BOY LIKE THAT. NOW GET OUT OF MY STINKIN' HOUSE!"

Just one thing from Ted Kord, rooms away:

"I'M NOT FAT!"

Otherwise, still petrified where he is.

Oh, this was going well. Ivy rubbed at what was surely going to be an amazing headache in about three minutes, before leveling a glare at both Iron Man and Batman. "We didn't kidnap anyone. Harley was trying to do something good for a change, leave her alone."

She really hoped that was true and Harley didn't actually have something to do with the guy being unconscious in the first place. ...Also not mentioning Harley's less than gentle First Aid techniques...

"Then we'll take him and leave."

It wasn't entirely outside of the realm of possibility that Harley really was just trying to do a good deed. Of course, Harley's attempts at good deeds could often lead to as much disaster as her acts of villainy, and while normally there might have been a chance Batman might have felt generous enough to leave it at this, his patience was wearing thin today between Kord and Ivy, though he knew in the latter case, rationally, that she had nothing to do with Sarah Maguire or what she had done to him.

Without waiting for an answer, he started moving swiftly-- though hardly at full tilt-- towards the sound of Kord's voice. Not the most diplomatic of moves, but at this point, he was ready to leave the "diplomacy" to Iron Man.

Tony just turned his head towards Harley. "That wasn't very nice, now was it?" he questioned, a hand rising to wave slightly as he made his point, before it lowered to cross with his other arm across his chest.

He followed Bruce towards the voice, already a map forming in his head, layout, echoes, and he moved precisely behind Batman, heading directly for Ted.

"SHUT UP FAT BOY!" Harley screamed over her shoulder at her patient. OK, so he was not totally obese, but she was trying to prove a point to the dark knight who was--heyyy.

Harley growled at Iron Face before doing a few back flips to situate herself between Batman and her room where Ted was currently being held.

"Ya could try being more polite."

"Oh god, polite. Batman. Does not add up. By the way, there are still hyenas. Please don't eat me."

Oh hey.

Ted sits up a little more, feeling a bit of a head rush. Almost like--

He can contact Tony's suit? Weird.

Text message. Right right right. He'll do that. Or try to.

look i don't really know what happened but just try to be polite i guess i dunno DID BATMAN BRING PANTS BTW

Ivy had actually stepped aside a bit. As much as she hated showing any kind of give with Batman, this wasn't a fight she wanted to have now. Not when she was caught unawares and not properly prepared. So let the bat and the little tin soldier play hero and have the man, what did she care?

Obviously Harley cared quite a bit. Damn.

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Knowing Ted = WACKY HIJINKS [CLOSED-ish]

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