capeandcowllogs | (no subject)

(no subject)

WHO: Havok and Scathach
WHERE: Her dojo
WHEN: Slightly backdated to...Sunday?
WARNINGS: NA
SUMMARY: Alex goes to angst to Scathach about being a horrible person, after this.
FORMAT: Quicklog?

[He walks into the now-familiar dojo, looking around for Scatty and spotting her almost immediately-- her red hair does stand out amid the more spartan walls and flooring. Alex isn't sure why he's coming to bother her of all people, and aware that it might even be a bad idea. She did mention very recently that her hunger wouldn't be unbearable only for a few more days, but part of Alex is selfish. He can't talk to the X-Men about this, because-- he just can't.

And Scathach did offer to listen, after all.

Alex takes a deep breath and wills himself to be calm. He can't help his sadness or self-recrimination, nor his loneliness and now-latent longing, but he can do his best to make this easier for her.]

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[The second he walks in that door, her nostrils flare and the corner of her eye twitches. Oh, he wasn't kidding when he said he was emotional. But she forces away her instincts and smiles at him, standing and stepping forward.]

Alex. Would you prefer to talk down here, or upstairs?

Here's fine.

[Alex sounds a bit listless and distracted, because he's discreetly checking that she doesn't look strained or starved. But to his untrained eye she appears alright. Well-- if she says she can handle it. Millennia of self-control, right?]

[The redhead nods and settles herself back on the floor, motioning for him to join her. After millennia of watching humani, she can genuinely give her honest opinion:]

You look like shit. What has happened?

[He laughs, short and startled but sincere, as he's reminded of his own words to her not too long ago.]

Funny, I swore I just said that to you last week. When you took off. Because of-- the desire?

[Alex sits after her, cross-legged but leaning back on his palms. His voice is lower now.]

Same thing actually. The desire. I completely succumbed and just acted as my heart told me. There was a girl, Lorna. She's a much younger, different version of the girl I was dating back home before I got ported here.

I barely knew her but I missed my Lorna so badly that week I was willing to do anything to lessen the longing. So I dated her that week, led her on, told her I loved her. When the desire wore off I realised I didn't, but I wanted to be sure. So I ignored her for another week and then-- more or less dumped her via our communicators. Not even in person.

I was such an idiot. And I've wronged her so badly.

[It's long and it's rambly but he hasn't spoken of this to anyone before Scathach, and when he's done he looks uncertain-- but also a little relieved. Then it's just back to self-recrimination again.]

[With every word he speaks, she can feel his emotions unbridle a bit more, and if her mouth watered in response to such an obvious source of food, she'd probably be drooling.

But, as things stood, her mouth did not water and she forced herself to focus on his words rather than his anger-confusion-loathing. It's difficult, but she manages. The Warrior takes a moment to think before speaking, contemplatively.]

Errare humanum est.

[Another pause.]

You are human, and will make mistakes. Perhaps I am not the best person to tell you this, but it is in the past, and there is nothing you can do about it—you have already accepted that you erred, and that is all you can do for now. In time, you will find a way to do right by her. But for now—

—Now you must move on.

[She stops, watching him, looking for any sign of... anything.]

I don't know if I can ever make it up to her, or if I should. 's probably best I stay away for a long time.

[When he speaks, Alex stares off slightly into the distance. He doesn't think he can face Scathach just yet-- hell, he can hardly face himself-- because he isn't sure he can accept her words of advice and comfort, wise and well-chosen as they are. Yet.]

She's suffered enough too. Both her brother and sister were ported out last week.

[The redhead shifts where she sits; she isn't uncomfortable, per se, just restless for some reason. Her fingers twitch, and she watches him with wide grass-green eyes. Maybe it's this talk of him being human while she, well, isn't. Even though she felt as if she understood the way humani minds work, sometimes, they still surprise her.]

Whether or not you do is up to nobody but you. I suggest you take a few days to think, though. Clear your mind, settle your--emotions.

Yeah. I still have to work so I can't just take off-- though man would I love to-- but I'll try.

[And this is a step in the right direction, he knows. His eyes shift to her.]

You're taking this pretty well.

[Alex means that in two senses. He's mildly surprised that she hasn't thought less of him already, though he should've known better, but he's also surprised she's taking the whole emotion thing spectacularly.]

[She nods slightly; that's good. He isn't going to run away from his problems, which is definitely progress. At his comment, she shrugs. She thinks he's only referring to her hunger.]

Self-control. And— [She pauses, and gives a half-smile.] I am sort of thinking of two things at once. I am concentrating on you, but at the same time, other things.

[Another pause, and her brows knit together.]

I hope you are not offended.

[Alex can't and won't run away when he has duties to others. If Alison hadn't hired him he might have taken off already, but she did and he won't be irresponsible like that. But he blinks in surprise at Scathach's comment; that isn't what he's expecting.]

Nah, not at all. But-- other things?

[The Warrior Maid shifts where she sits again, averting her eyes from his face now. She almost looks embarrassed.]

I was translating our conversation into Latin in my head. It is a good distraction.

[He starts to laugh. He can't help it.]

Have you ever been called a geek, Scatty? Cos otherwise I'm going to be the first.

[Her eyes narrow, and she crosses her arms over her chest. She looks every bit of the seventeen year old whose body she has.]

Once, by a boy named Josh. You would be the second to say it.

Guess we think alike, then.

[He sort of forces himself to stop laughing, and grins at her instead.]

Relax! It's a compliment. You should hear me go on about geophysics.

[A small smile flicks over her face, and she does relax.]

I have never endeavored to study many of the sciences, unfortunately.

[He's a bit indignant since it's his pet subject.]

Not even though you've had over a thousand years?

[She raises an eyebrow.]

I have also never learned to drive. I do not have much free time in my world.

How do you get aroun-- oh, right. Running.

[He looks at her curiously.]

What did you spend most of your time doing, then?

[She sighs lowly.]

You would not believe how many daemons and creatures are lurking around San Francisco. They must be kept in line.

Was that your job, before you came here?

[Alex realises two things. Firstly, he doesn't know much about pre-City Scathach. And secondly, he's really glad for this conversation, not least because it's helping tremendously in keeping his mind off brooding about Lorna.]

I was a teacher, still. I simply had... different students.

[She tilts her head at him, maybe coming to the same conclusion.] What about you?

Unarmed combat, still?

[He pauses and tries to summarise his rather eventful life in brief sentences.]

Tried being a civilian but that didn't last long. I just...ran around with the X-Men trying to save the world, I guess. Most recently we were in space trying to stop my psycho brother from usurping an empire.

[His eyes narrowed just a little.]

Yes. Though, weapons were more in-style, then.

[The redhead snorts lowly in amusement.]

You were what they call a superhero. I have met your brother—he does not seem very psycho.

Not Scott-- my other brother. Gabriel. He--

[A pause.]

He killed our father.

[And Alex is suddenly both angry and sad again.]

[She pauses. Then the redhead reaches out to rest her hand on his arm. But she's let her defenses down and she can more or less taste his negative emotions--she simply ignores them.]

I am sorry.