capeandcowllogs | Attack of the killer refrigerator [closed][in progress][TERRIBLE]

Attack of the killer refrigerator [closed][in progress][TERRIBLE]

WHO: Kyle Rayner, Guy Gardener
WHERE: near a bar, presumably
WHEN: Friday night!
WARNINGS: Guy Gardener exists.
SUMMARY: Kyle and Guy defend the city from the Decepticon's trash. No, really. Starscream's old refrigerator is on a rampage and they fight it. Many horrible fridge jokes are thrown at Kyle.
FORMAT: kvikie lawg

[well, it was a fun night at the bar, at least. Even if Guy had called his beer girly (guiness is not girly, damn it!) and then proceeded to drink it]

[it WAS Guy, after all]

[deep breath of that cold November air, oh yeah]

[So uhh, why is there screaming?]

[And WHAT IS THAT?]

[Kyle stares, tugging on Guy's sleeve a little]

... you've got to be kidding.

[Since it's a giant robot made of refrigerators terrorizing some people]

[What.]

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[Yeah, Guy has no idea either, Kyle.]

... fuck, what the hell was in that gay beer you made me drink last night, Kyle?

[Hangovers make him bitchy, did you notice?]

There was beer in it.

[hi, suiting up and moving to engage]

And I don't care how hung over you are, help me out here!

Must've been something else. Fridge robots don't exist.

[He's suiting up too, though, and if he's wobbling a bit when he floats over, well. Deal with it.]

Yeah, yeah, don't get your nuts tied in a knot.

... right. And neither do [dodges a barrage of... frozen chickens.] green martians, tentacle monsters, people with wings, and especially not rings from space that let you do whatever you can think of.

[starts building himself a glowing green suit of Gundam style powered armor while he's talking]

Yyyyup.

[Guy's just going for a pair of giant green wolverines]

It's all just been a dream.

[The wolverines snarl and pounce at the porkloin that's just been hurled out in their direction.]

One big, long fairy dream.

Oh good. Are we going to -

[HOLY SHIT HEATING ELEMENT TENTACLE COIL O DOOM PUNCHES RIGHT THROUGH THE ARM OF HIS SHINEY GREEN MECH thank god it wasn't his actual arm o_O ]

- wake up soon.

I'm with you. Although if it's a dream, it's gotta be one of yours. Mine don't get nearly this fu-

[Didges out of the way as the tentacle comes out.]

Kyle, what is with you and fucking tentacles?!

[Giant hammer is being shot at the fridge.]

WHAT?!

[the fridge is hit with the hammer. The fridge does not like the hammer, nor does it like the missiles Kyle shoots at it. It loses one of its 'arms']

I don't like tentacles at all! I hate tentacles! It's just that tentacles like me for some reason!

[speaking of which, Guy, the fridge has apparently decided that You Are a Threat, and is now lumbering over with surprising speed. It's also shooting more tentacles, because it's trying to eat you.]

Do you sweat out some kinda freaky pheromone or something? God, it's like every time we fight something, it wants to get its- Gah!

[Although he's dodging around, Guy's ankle gets snagged by one of the tentacles, then two, then a bunch, even though he's trying to cut them off.]

Fuck!

[Woot, ring lasers. He's still getting reeled in, though. it's hard to cut and dodge tomatoes at the same time.]

Hell if I know, I just -

[oh fuck]

GUY!

[drops the robot construct like last year's fashions and goes ZOOOOOOOOMING over, making little tiny robots that hover around him to laser away the projectiles automatically]

[... gets sprayed with sour milk though euuugh]

[summons CHAINSAW to deal with tentacles]

[... and gets grabbed himself and dragged right on into the damn fridge. which slams shut]

[this is what we call irony, kids]

[curses and struggles out of the tentacle remains only to be brained upside the head with the image of Kyle, dripping pale milky white and getting dragged into a fridge by a shit-ton of metal tentacles.]

Oh fucking hell. Of course. We get dragged into a dream and it's gotta be one of the weird kinds.

[just keeps muttering more as he gets out the glowing green crowbar,then shouts]

Kyle, you kinky motherfucker! I'm getting you out of there, so make sure you ring up a helmet or something!

[and here's his attempt to pry the door open.]

[TRYING TO KEEP TENTACLES FROM IMPALING HIM IN HERE AUGH D: AMIDST KETCHUP BOTTLES]

[AND ALSO TRYING TO RING UP SOME PISTONS TO OPEN THAT DOOR]

[And oh hey door opens]

[only to have tentacles grab Guy and stuff him in too]

... this is the worst ever. I'm pretty sure.

AUGH!

[Guy ends up flying into Kyle, and the fridge IS NOT THAT BIG, so they're squished up face-to-face. it is uncomfortable.]

Yeah, if not, it's pretty damn close.

[He starts tearing at what he can reach with ring-powered hands. It's denting a little, but... not that much.]

Fuckin' fridges. At least the tentacles you could punch properly.

[did we ever mention that a good fight gets guy hot?]

[don't rub too much Kyle, you might get mentally scarred.]

[... well you warn him now, he was kind of flailing and struggling here, trying to get this fridge to freaking break]

[now he's got a little D: ]

[how does he get into these situations really. tries so hard not to think]

... okay. You know what, fuck this.

[concentrates, and decides that they're fighting tentacles with more tentacles here. sort of. Imagines long, needle-thin lines radiating out from the two of them, puncturing straight through the metal of the fridge since they're extremely tiny]

[and then starts to focus on trying to cut the fridge apart with these razor thin things. And it's kind of working, but the thing seems to be repairing itself a bit, and this is obviously taking a lot of effort]

[... especially since being squished like this is REALLY FUCKING DISTRACTING THX]

Guy. Need you to keep punching the walls while I work on taking it apart.

[strain here is obvious in his voice. he starts to bend those razor thin lines of light through the internal structure of the fridge]

[nnnnrg, Guy is thinking very hard about baseball.]

Heh. Can do, partner.

[Oh hey, there's a plan. Guy likes plans and sometime she even makes them, but squished in here like this? It's a lot easier to let Kyle take the lead. It's not like he doesn't enjoy punching, either.]

[Lashing out at the wall and there might even have been a boxing glove flickering there for a little while... some things are just classics, you know?]

[the combination of razorwire + PUNCHING serves to actually break apart the walls in large chunks. The fridge makes an UNHAPPY SQUEALING NOISE (which in Decepticon was something like "HEY THAT HURTS D: " )]

Shut up, I know.

[this lets them have a LITTLE more breathing room, and Kyle takes that chance to back up and tie some of those wires to his fingers, which he starts to manipulate like puppet strings, concentrating on slicing the thing up and avoiding hitting Guy with any of that stuff]

[and AT LAST Guy's punching breaks the whole thing apart with a groan, sending them crashing to the ground amidst fridgeparts and various sorts of rotten food]

[ow. just. ow. picks up a cabbage off his face]

[Okay, punching fridges isn't quite as fun as punching people-type faces, but Guy's still grinning really wide, lying on the ground and sprawled out like he's actually tangled up in silk sheets on a really big bed.]

Heh. That was fun.

[Sits up with a grunt and flicks bits of eggshell off his shoulder, then looks around]

[Oh hey, Kyle isn't knocked out like some sort of pansy wuss. That's always a good sign.]

You doin' okay over there?

Edited 2009-11-22 16:50 (UTC)

[wipes egg off his shoulder]

I've been better. Think I hit my head or something.

[sighs, looking at the mess]

Man, we gotta clean this up...

YES, I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME, THANKS.

[aw man, guy has bad experiences with head injuries]

[he is very worried now and shuffling over to put a hand on your shoulder and look you over]

Yeah, we'll get to that after we fix you up.

[beat]

What's wrong with your ring?

[he's noticed you aren't glowing anymore.]

It's just out of power.

... which is kind of a problem because my battery didn't exactly come through with me.

Out of power?

[Guy raises an eyebrow]

You mean your ring actually came with you?

[He waves his 'ring' hand and the ring melts around and shifts shape.]

Mine's just here because I like the weight.

Yep. [takes it off to demonstrate] And... woah, that's pretty cool. [slightly envious here]

But yeah, this thing's actually here. I wasn't too worried because it's not like mine can get stolen since it's keyed to my DNA [though some have gotten around this >>; ] but... yeah.

[sighs, rubs his head] I keep hoping that maybe I got some other powers to make up for it. And well, with Saint Walker around I guess I can recharge it, but I wish there was some way to do it on my own.

[puts it back on, and stares at it intently for a bit]

[... and then there's a bright flash of green light. Kyle looks a bit stunned, before proceeding to faceplant into the pavement, out cold]

[oops]

[the ring glows softly, pulsing with a regular beat]

Edited 2009-11-22 21:59 (UTC)

[shrug]

Yeah, apparently the porter gave me GL powers without having to worry about the ring.

[oh god what just happened there the ring is glowing and kyle just fell over]

Kyle!

[Guy doesn't manage to catch him, but he rings up a green pillow so that Kyle doesn't end up with pavement marks all over him]

The hell's going on?

[saying that he's very worried is an understatement]

[goes to pick up kyle's unconscious body in a princess carry and get him to a hospital]

[well, other than being unconscious, he seems fine. mild bump to the head, a lot of bruises, but perfectly fine]

[the hospital's probably gonna put it down to exhaustion]

[on the other hand, he's not waking up, so...]

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Attack of the killer refrigerator [closed][in progress][TERRIBLE]

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