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WHO: Paige Guthrie and Warren Worthington
WHERE: THE OFFICE
WHEN: Friday morning
WARNINGS: TBD but probably nothing except mentions of porn on work computers :|
SUMMARY: Paige gets a job at Warren's company except she's horribly bored and finishes her work in half an hour. There is demanding of more work and joking about future ex-relationships. Really, who does that? Awkward.
FORMAT: Parablonds

Paige was appreciative of Warren giving her a job on such short notice, especially considering the fact that she didn't so much as hand in a resume or even met him before. Scratch that-- apparently in the future, they were well acquainted with each other. Okay, right. Paige was calling shenanigans on that one. Everyone was clearly joking with her and she was NOT going to fall for it! Maybe in the future she had just gotten a chance to get to know him better, he knew of her skills with computers, and that's why he hired her. Paige could wrap her mind around that one.

Half an hour into the work day, Paige was done balancing numbers and making spreadsheets. In her boredom, she had also strengthened the security on Warren's private files (which she did not look at, thank you very much), updated the company website, and also had time to go out and get coffee and bagels.

She was bored. And Paige really needed to keep busy 24/7 or else she would think of things she didn't want to think about and it would just be very messy. So, she decided she would go bother Warren for more work. Did people do that besides her? Probably not.

"Excuse me," Paige knocked politely on his door with her free hand. Her other hand was cradling all the files he had given her to work on. "I'm finished with all of this work."

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Warren had been at his desk typing up a memo on his laptop when Paige had appeared, and he glanced up at her with surprise. It wasn't even ten o'clock yet! Though maybe he shouldn't have been so surprised; Paige always had been a bit of an overachiever, after all, and it was that fact (plus her brilliant mind) that he knew hiring her would be a good thing in the first place.

Still, half an hour into the day was pretty impressive, so Warren simply invited her in to sit. Or place the files on his desk. Whichever. "Already? I gave you a week's worth of assignments to do."

Wordlessly, Paige handed Warren a bagel and coffee. She had also gotten donuts for her other coworkers and so had quickly become both liked (for bringing baked goods) and disliked (for being such a suck up overachiever). The files were put down on his desk and Paige took a seat, crossing her legs quickly so as not to flash her boss. She wasn't really a skirt person but Monet had insisted that it was all very work appropriate. Okay. Right.

"I also fixed the company website and put extra protection on some of your locked company files," she said easily. "There were some broken links on the website plus some data was wrong. Your web design guy should stop playing internet games and looking at porn and really do his job better."

Coffee! Coffeecoffeecoffee! Warren's eyes brightened happily at the sight of caffeine, and he went to fold that lid open as Paige spoke, listening to her words.

Wait porn? Don't judge him for picking up on that word out of the lot! "He's doing what? How bad was it?"

The website, not the porn.

"At first glance it's not terrible, I suppose, but some of the phone numbers were wrong, not to mention the positions open section hadn't been updated in forever. How are you going to get more employees if they don't know you're hiring?" Paige tapped her snort nails against the wood of the chair. Really. Why bother doing a job if you're not going to do it right? What kind of work ethic did people have?

Guthries were hard workers, if nothing else. It was kind of instilled in them since birth that if you were going to do something, do it right.

"I also made it look more visually appealing. It was too cluttered before."

"What!? I can't have that!" Warren grumbled and closed down his memo to check his website. Oh, that little jerk! He was paying some clown to fix things that weren't being fixed! Amidst his inner whining though, Warren's eyes widened again at the home page and suddenly he was looking rather pleased.

"You're right...that looks much better."

Yeah, she knew it was better, too. Paige tried not to look too horribly proud of her work but... well. It was obvious whose web page was superior.

"So... if you don't mind, I'll need more work to do. There's still about six hours left in the work day."

Paige took a sip of her own coffee. She had already had three energy drinks earlier-- the coffee was really just for fun.

Warren lifted his gaze off of the monitor and landed it back on her. Yeah, he noticed that smug look, but he wasn't going to say anything about it. Hell, now all he wanted to do was use that smugness for something good around here!

"You said something about him playing games and looking at porn. You know that for sure, or are you just assuming?" Because if she can monitor people and help him weed out the slackers, all the better!

Edited 2010-01-30 23:35 (UTC)

"Of course I know for sure. We actually talked briefly on the phone when I told him that his workmanship was shoddy and mediocre at best," Paige said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Hanging out with Monet again was really doing wonders for her ego. Only when it came to learning and computers, though. That is where she ruled.

Paige sniffed. "He hung up on me."

The nerve of some people. She was only trying to give him constructive criticism.

Oh well then. That was no kind of attitude Warren wanted his employees to be having! They weren't paid to jerk off under their desks here, and there was no way in hell he was putting up with that!

"Can you find a way to monitor people? See who's paying attention to their job and not just searching for...God knows what?"

That would be easy enough, Paige supposed. Was she not MAD for a mission like this? While it was a little invasive, Paige was positive that Warren had some of clause in his employee contracts that said something about internet and email privacy-- aka, there was none because they were at work.

She excused herself to get back to work and wondered what kinds of things the people in the company were up to. Two hours, three packets of paper, and five folders later, Paige was back in Warren's office. The look on her face was a mixture of amusement and disgust.

"You'll be happy to know that most of your employees are doing there job and just their job. However-- and this is a big however-- a lot of the younger interns and employees are... well. See for yourself."

Paige handed the printouts to Warren which were filled with porn web addresses, some website called "facespace", and blogging journals where they complained about "the man" and how Warren sucked.

Glancing down at the papers, Warren scanned over them with an assortment of expressions ranging from annoyed to thoroughly disgusted to surprised. What the hell was all this!?

"How come I suck!? I barely even deal with interns! Or whoever these people are..." Ungrateful bastards was all they were! "And--oh Jesus Christ, is that a man giving a horse fellatio?"

Ungrateful and severely disturbed.

Paige grimaced. That was so disgusting. Seriously, what was wrong with people. As for the angry blogging, Warren seemed like an okay boss, though people always found something to complain about. All that porn was just-- blegh. She was starting to think asking for more work wasn't the best idea.

"The boss or leader always gets the brunt of everyone's anger or annoyance. It's the easiest to channel it onto the person who is in charge," Paige shoved a few more papers his way, this porn website having to do with big ladies and midgets, not wanting to ever look at them again. "I think you need to screen your employees better, Warren."

What. That earned a double take as he stared at it, face contorting a bit. What the hell was wrong with these people!? And how the hell was he supposed to know that these seemingly normal people had the most asinine fetishes in the world?!

"I think I need to fire people is what I should do!" Warren scoffed and looked at Paige. "Do they have any way of knowing that you found this?"

She almost laughed at the look on his face but managed to keep it together. For his sake, really. "I don't think you can fire them based on this alone. You probably have to give them a warning for looking at these materials while at work. But anyway, they have no idea I know."

As if Paige would ever leave a trail behind on the internet. Hmph.

"Isn't there some kind of law against bestiality?" Warren made such a face as he referred to Mr-oral-sex-on-a-horse guy. "What if I made a policy? Ugh, I hate dealing with Labor Department crap..."

Grumbling, Warren started rummaging through his desk to look for his binder to help answer some of these questions. These were things that he probably should have known, but considering most people were hired to do the crappy jobs FOR him, he really didn't know.

"I think you should keep monitoring them when you can! Those sons of bitches aren't wasting my money!"

"You should probably speak with a lawyer," Paige coughed in an attempt to hide her laugh. For someone who always looked so put together, Warren almost looked... frantic. It was just a little bit amusing. "I'm sure they could iron out the details for you. I can keep an eye out for any other... strange activity, it's not a problem."

Inside, Paige all but squealed. She loved to mess around with security and surveillance. This was the perfect chance. Absently, she flipped through a few of the blog posts.

"One of the blog entries talks about how I only got this job because we having a secret affair," she said nonchalantly. "Where do people come up with these things??"

Yeah, yeah lawyers; like Warren didn't already speak with them on a daily basis. That just meant one more meeting to schedule between meetings, and--

What. Wait! Affair?

"It says that?" his eyes widened, and he snapped his head up to look at her. That was not a rumour that could go around! Alison would kill him and Sam and Mrs. Guthrie and...okay, probably everyone else too! With their history people would actually believe it. "That person isn't from our universe, are they?"

Seriously, who else would say that!?

"No, of course not. It's just office gossip. Why are you so worried?" She was really amused at how panicked he was. Should she take it personally that the thought made him have a panic attack? "Don't worry-- I told everyone that our future relationship doesn't last, so we decided to forgo any secret liaisons in the present."

Well, she thought it was funny, anyway.

Warren blinked, not quite sure how much she was pulling his leg here. This topic reeeeeeally hadn't been brought up between them thus far, so he wasn't sure of her opinion on the matter. Which made it. Awkward.

However, Warren Worthington rarely let 'awkward' creep into his facial expression, so he kept it cool. "Some people from our universe are a little sore on that subject still, is all."

Paige laughed at that-- very openly, in fact. Clearly, she still wasn't believing this. But that was okay. Denial was perfectly healthy, right? "Anyway," she said, "you can thank me when you look at your numbers at the end of the day-- I'm sure productivity will go up now that people are scared we know what they're really doing instead of work."

Would she get a bonus for this? If so, that would be wonderful. She had expenses, after all, and Sam could probably use some money. She would have to sneak it in quietly, though, because he would never take money from her.

Warren simply shook his head at her laugh, and got back to business. Well, okay, if she was still a bit awkward about the future then he wouldn't bring it up again! Life goes on and all that good stuff. "I'll be sending out a memo to those involved and speaking to my lawyer, definitely," he explained and got to work on pulling out the bagel she brought him.

"If you'd like to make net supervising part of your everyday delegations, then I'd be more than happy to adjust your salary."

At the words adjust your salary, Paige nearly lit up. Besides the selfish reasons she wanted money (a computer), she could help her brothers out with whatever they needed, too. No doubt Sam was working some ridiculous minimum wage job. She would probably have to sneak money into his bank account because he would be all, BROTHERS DON'T TAKE MONEY FROM THEIR LITTLE SISTERS HAYUCK.

"I'd love that! I promise I won't let you down!!"

Well, good. Warren knew she could use the money and since she was doing such a good job with everything, she deserved it. More than those other so called employees did. Hmph.

"I know you won't. Just keep building the security around the confidential files, the finance reports, and the accounts. Change the encryptions every few days to keep them secured, and continue to do the monitoring. I'll make sure to be generous next pay period."

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