HE AIN'T HEAVY, HE'S MY BROTHER

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

WHO: Lust (easytochop) and Gluttony (omnivorculus)
WHERE: SOME FUCKING PLACE I DON'T CARE
WHEN: NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WARNINGS: um other than eating people I'm at a loss here. SO MUCH PATTING, MY GOD THIS IS OBSCENE
SUMMARY: MEGAVIRGINNOMORE MCGENOCIDE HAS GIVEN LUST HER BABY BROTHER'S COORDINATES. LUST IS GOING TO SEE HER BABY BROTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR. LUST IS WAITING FOR HER BABY BROTHER TO PICK UP HER SCENT AND FIND HER.

LUST'S BABY BROTHER IS KIND OF STUPID. You know, just a tad.
FORMAT: quicklog... ha... ha...

[She stands deep in an alley, because Lust just knows he's going to make a spectacle when he catches on to her presence, and she'd prefer he do it in relative seclusion, no matter how vile it is back there. She's more excited than she's been in quite some time (which isn't actually saying much, considering her general apathy, but hey take what you can get), albeit already irritated. Gluttony doing stupid things and saying too much is to be expected, of course; there was a reason she'd had to accompany him everywhere.

The most revealing thing he said, though, is the one Lust is still wondering about. She's questioned Envy about all this before, but he never mentioned Gluttony being dead. What, exactly, is happening back there?]

Comments

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[Make a spectacle? That would be a fairly good summary of what Gluttony is doing right now, knocking over trash cans and sending debris everywhere as he skids out of a side alley. His face lights up as he spots his big sister.] Lust! [He waddles his way on over before tripping on a tin can and falling flat on his pudgy face. OH THAT GLUTTONY.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[HE'S ALWAYS UP TO THOSE WACKY SHENANIGANS. It's rather unsettling to see him again after so long, but Lust pushes that to the back of her mind and waits for him to get up. NO HAND-OFFERING HERE.]

Gluttony.

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[That's cool, he manages to get back up after a couple of failures due to his little feet scrambling around too much. When he finally makes it he continues wobbling to her.]

I couldn't smell you until just now! I was lost. But there were cats to eat, so it was okay.

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[Okay, okay, fine. She gives in and pats him on his bald fatty-bo-batty head once he's close enough, smiling to herself in a rather self-satisfied manner. It's almost too nostalgic a scene to be real, but it is real. And Gluttony, of all people, is an incredibly valuable asset; she's already calculating what uses she'll put him to.]

That's good. Are you still hungry?

[WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT HE ALWAYS IS.]

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[And the head pat gets a big toothy grin. He really missed this. No one else was as nice to him as Lust, and seeing her again maybe made being dead worth it.

And of course, at the mention of food his dopey smile suddenly takes on a much more menacing look.]

Yeah. The cats were too small and that other thing didn't taste good. Can we go find someone?

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[Lust's smile, on the other hand, remains utterly benign. With her free hand, she whips out her communicator from her coat pocket and resumes stalking that shit like a bawss.]

Hold on a little longer, okay? We'll have to make sure nobody sees.

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[Gluttony tilts his head a little.] ...We still have to be careful? [Clearly he thought the point of the afterlife was to do whatever you want without fear of Chinese ninja girls putting blades through your head.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[She looks back away from the dinky screen of her communicator and at his confused little fatty face, then tips her head downward and looks at him. He seems confused; more confused than he... usually... is, anyway.]

Yes, we do. [Just to spell out the point beforehand, so he doesn't forget for at least the next five minutes. Lust prefers to keep her instructions brief when dealing with Gluttony. THEN, THE QUESTION.] Why wouldn't we?

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

Because we're dead. [Gluttony says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world.] We don't have to be careful if we're dead, right? We can't die again so we can do anything!

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[AND HERE WE GO. She exhales hard through her nose, her expression long-suffering, but when she talks her voice is patient.]

It's not like that, Gluttony. [How can she explain it to him in a way that he'll understand?] You'll have to listen very carefully.

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[Gluttony nods and flops his butt down on the cold alley pavement. If he has to listen to a story he's sure not going to stand through it.] Okay. [It at least looks like he's paying attention.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

This isn't what's supposed to happen when we die. [Lust tucks her communicator back into her pocket and looks him in the teeny tiny eyes.] You remember the machine that asked you your name, don't you? That thing brought you here after you died. It took me, too. [PAUSE, DOES THIS COMPUTE Y/N]

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[It takes way too long for this to compute but, y'know, Gluttony. Once he finally thinks he gets it he nods, wanting her to go on.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[She smiles briefly, then starts talking again.] This is a different world. That's why all of the buildings look so different, and there's no Amestris. It's called the City. We're alive right now, but we can still be killed. [DOES SHE MENTION THE RESURRECTION PART RIGHT NOW? It might make his round little head explode.] And there's lots of people here who won't like you eating humans. If they hear about it, they'll try to hurt you.

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[And that puts blobby blobbyton right in sad face mode.] So we have to sneak around like in Amestris? [His dreams of an all-you-can eat human buffet are crushed. Fortunately he snaps out of it once he realizes there's a more important thing to ask.] Is Father here?

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[OH GOD POOR BABY NO IT'S OKAY GO EAT ALL THE HUMANS YOU WANT wait no that's a bad idea... and then he gets right to the crux of the matter.] No, Gluttony. Father's not here.

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[Well that sucks. Instead of a sad face, though, he seems really confused. Again.] So then...

What do we do?

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[She pauses. Again. Then pats him on the head again, more heavily this time.]

We follow his orders as best we can.

[Oh, Gluttony, why do you need to accidentally poke at the core of her stupid existential homunculus crisis?]

Fullmetal and his brother are here, and so is their friend--the mechanic girl. We're going to keep the boys alive while they're here, alright? You know how important they are.

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[The pat works, settling him down again. He pushes any worries out of his tiny mind, which is...not hard to do. At all.] Right! I won't eat any of them this time. [Yes, he's already forgotten Lust wasn't around for that whole shenanigan.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[Wait what.] You ate them? [At this point, she forgets to say that Envy and Greed are also here because seriously what.]

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[Aaand now it dawns on him.] Oh. It was after you died. And it was just Edward! And the person who became Greed. [A beat.] Oh, and Envy. They all got out though!

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[Just how much has happened since she died? Gluttony obviously isn't the one to go to for answers, though she hasn't much in the way of another choice. So she fixates on one part of the sentence!] That Xingese boy?

Oh, and I almost forgot. [SHE DIDN'T ALMOST FORGET.] Envy and Greed are here too.

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[Gluttony was about to respond with a nod, but theeen he heard the G word. And now...he actually looks somewhat angry instead of his normal derpy innocence/creeperface.] Greed?

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[WELL NOW. WHAT SHIT HAS GREED BEEN KEEPING ON THE DOWN-LOW? She looks at him intently.] Yes, Greed. What did he do?

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[And here comes the whining.] He's a traitor! He left and then came back with Fullmetal and some people I didn't know and he was going to ruin everything! And then he helped people kill me a bunch and then Pride ate me... [He trails off into sniffling.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[She leans down to pat Gluttony on the shoulders while her brain tries to process the order of events he's describing. Pride ate him? Was that how dire things had become for them? He wouldn't have done it without solid reason, but if the situation was such that it weren't a better idea to go back to Father and have him remade... Greed being a traitor, however, is no surprise.] I thought that might be it.

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[The patting helps a bit. He rubs away any forming tears with his gigantic ham hands and goes back to his normal derpy self. Because he now has something far more important to ask.] ...So is it okay if I eat him?

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[She pauses to think about this, weighs the ups and downs of letting Greed and that boy of his die just once, and comes to the most ~logical~ decision.] Of course you can.

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[It's a good thing he can already smile wider than should be humanly possible, or else the muscles in his face would be breaking from the hugeness of this grin. It's like forty Christmases in one. Except with more drool.]

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[SHE ALSO SMILES so that I have an excuse to use this icon.] Now let's go. You have to see the place where you're going to live.

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[Gluttony uses his giant monkey arms to push himself up off the alley ground.] Okay! [He looks up at his big sis like the adorable tubby bloodhound he is, waiting for her to lead the way.] Is there lots of food there?

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[Turning on her heel, Lust starts walking in the direction of the street. There is, in fact, no food in her apartment. She has not lived in an apartment with food since the Riddler lived with her, BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T EAT and anyway it attracts mice who wants that shit if they don't need to deal with it, but obviously that's going to have to change now.] Not right now. I'll buy some [IT WILL BE GONE IN THIRTY SECONDS] before we get there, if you want.

[omnivorculus.livejournal.com]

[Paying for things is a completely foreign concept to Gluttony, but he nods as he trundles up along side her.] That sounds good. I'm really hungry.

[easytochop.livejournal.com]

[She looks forward as she walks at an easy pace, still smirking. This is going to be an extra weight on her shoulders, to be sure, but when have matters been easy for her? Looking back over her shoulder for a moment, she's still slightly surprised to find that he's here at all--but then the moment passes. She grins at him.]

I'm sure you are.

[Overall, she feels, things are looking up.]