capeandcowllogs | (no subject)

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WHO: Pete, Jan, THE MALL
WHERE: THE MALL
WHEN: Saturday.
WARNINGS: Consumerism. What not to wear.
SUMMARY: Pete needs new clothes. Pete really, really needs new clothes.
FORMAT: Word salad.

"But, like, this is okay, right?"

The place: a department store in a mall outside of The City. It's what you'd expect from that sort of establishment: fluorescent lights, pop muzak, that new clothes smell.

Pete is holding up and referring to a very large, very plaid shirt.

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Jan is staring at the shirt like it offends her.

Actually, it does.

"Let's stay away from plaid, shall we? Try a solid, dark color," she all but shoves a dark blue button down shirt at him. "Just try it and see what you think. And give me the plaid."

Before someone gets hurt.

Pete reluctantly releases the lumberjack uniform. That's probably why it appeals to him: the guy has a thing for uniforms. He squints at the shirt she has suggested.

"Okay. I guess. It's just..."

So not orange.

"Can I help you with anything?" A fake-ly smiling salesgirl chirps. She seems intent on getting all up in their business.

Said salesgirl looks as orange as the shirt Pete is longing for. Fake tans were really not attractive.

"No, thanks. We're fine."

Jan is trying to nudge Pete towards the dressing room before this woman can inflict anymore damage to his already low shopping mojo.

Can you blame him? It's like some kind of mindgame: every size is different (which makes no sense), and there are letters and numbers to navigate, and it's like they hide the large sizes out of shame or something. Don't get him started on matching.

Pete lets Jan herd him. Saying no to women is hard.

"Um. I still need pants," he points out. And that will be the real challenge.

"You'll need slacks. Maybe jeans to knock around in," she taps her finger to her chin, looking thoughtful.

No huge belt buckles, sorry buddy.

"Any preference on color?"

Hey. He may be Southern, but he's not Texan.

"I got jeans."

Jeans overalls.

"Whuddaya mean 'color'?"

Aren't jeans just jeans color?

"Well there's--"

Jan can almost feel the saleslady looking. And maybe laughing a little bit.

"Let's find you a pair of dark colored jeans. I promise it'll look good."

Pete slinks toward the denim section.

"I hate when they look at you, like they're judgin' if you're good enough to buy their clothes," he grumbles.

Oh god: it's a sea of jeans.

"So let them judge. It's just that they hate their jobs and they take it out on the customers. It has nothing to do with you as a person," Jan is already expertly sifting through the ocean of denim.

A pep talk and a shopping trip all rolled into one. Jan wonders if she should have gotten her PhD in Psychology.

"If any of the jeans are a little too big or long but look good, you can just get them tailored. A dark colored belt is probably good, too."

Pete just stares at her for a moment. At six feet tall, and somewhere around 200lbs, "too big" or "too long" are not problems Pete has.

"I dunno, I think a tailor'd just laugh at ya."

"It's their job not to fix clothes. I'd doubt they'd laugh if they wanted to stay in business."

Was it possible she had found someone with worse self esteem than hers? Truly amazing. "Really, the best thing to do is try things on and just see how they look. Ancient shopping technique. It never fails. Worse comes to worse, something looks bad and then you just don't buy it."

He stares at her again. That's...practically genius. Something looks bad and then you just don't buy it.

"I never thoughta it like that."

"Don't think. Just do."

And he's getting jeans thrown at him and being shoved once more towards a dressing room. For someone who is only 5'3" and a little over a hundred pounds, she can have a lot of power when she wants.

The salesgirl looks like she's ready to come over again. Jan prepares herself for an epic showdown.

Once Pete is safely in the fitting room, the salesgirl strikes. She takes a different tactic this time: girl talk.

"Men, huh?" She pouts, theatrically. She clearly decided Jan is the one who is holding the purse strings today, and that if she's going to get anywhere, she'll have to build female raport. "It's a wonder some of them don't just go around naked."

She's all eyerolls and glossy lips. Then she adds:

"We do have a big and tall section. Maybe I should just duck over there for you guys?"

This was not the week to even be talking to Jan. She was so cranky. Ex-husbands and boyfriends running around the city, work, Tony being a jerk-- just not good. But still. She has to be polite. She is practically a public figure not.

"No, thank you. If we need you, we know where to find you."

She smiles back, almost as saccharine as the salesgirl. People have to make a living, yes, but God. Do not want.

The saleswoman's smile wilts, and she marches away to lurk behind a rack of shorts.

Please: don't make Pete wear shorts.

The dressing room door opens. Pete's wearing the dark blue shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. It's a lot of dark blue, but it does hide his belly a little.

"I dunno about this."

When you're used to wearing trackpants, jeans are stiff.

"It looks good!" Jan admires her handy work. She really did have an eye for this sort of thing. "It looks really good. The jeans will take some getting used to but I promise it looks good."

The salesgirl is looking on.

Jan feels just a bit smug.

"The blue is okay?"

Orange is a hard color to match. Also: it doesn't rhyme with anything. But it is the color of Pete's hair, and even with so little of it, it's bright and dominates him utterly.

Seriously, the salesgirl staring her down is starting to freak her out a little. Were there no other customers that she could help? Clearly, Jan had challenged her authority and she didn't like it. But she really couldn't afford to get into a fight with a civilian. Tony would murder her.

"Let's go-- uh-- adjust your jeans," once again, Pete is getting shoved into the dressing room, except this time Jan is coming along with him.

For moral support or something.

She's a retail sales associate. Is that really a civillian?

Oh, it is?

Oh.

Well, but it still feels like war.

"Yeah, I really think they're kinda tight," Pete says, behind the closed fitting room doors. He slips a finger under the waistband, and looks at her expectantly.

You're driving, Jan.

"Really? I think they fit perfectly. It does take some getting used to if you've never worn jeans before." She's looking him over, pulling at the waistband a little. "If you're really uncomfortable, we could look for the next size but in my opinion, it looks good."

Positive encouragement was always good, right? Right.

"But it really all depends on how you feel since you're the one wearing them."

"Yeah, but: you would really know."

He's trying to suck his belly in a little now.

"You really think I look good?"

Who doesn't like to hear that? Especially from somebody they like.

She sees that and bites down a smile. Oh Pete. Why so amusing and cute?

"I wouldn't say so if I didn't think it," Jan says with a wink. "Very handsome. The salesgirl might even try to fight me for your phone number."

And just to sweeten the deal, she leans up to kiss him on the cheek.

Well that seals it: he's buying this. And wearing it every chance he gets. Handsome. Pete is beaming.

He leans down into her, and steals a kiss on the lips.

"I got a pair of handcuffs in my pocket," he whispers. "Uh, not these pockets, my other ones. But I am happy to see ya."

"Good to know, I'll keep that in mind for later," she grins, wondering if the guys in the other dressing rooms could hear them. Talk about a scandal. "So is this a success? I think it's a success."

A start, anyway.

Maybe she should thank those zombies for exploding all over his clothing.

Let them hear: it's not like they can see...

Pete runs his hands up her back.

"About...later. We kinda been seein' each other for, like, a bit now, an'..."

He's actually not getting at what you might think he's getting at.

"...an', like...well, I wanna call you my girlfriend, okay?"

He's thinking about that other thing too, but that's sort of a constant.

She really had been expecting him to ask about sex rather than what he actually asked about. Jan hadn't been someone's girlfriend in over eight years. It was just a word. A name. But it obviously meant a lot to him.

"That's fine with me."

Jan doesn't really have to confidence in herself to be someone's girlfriend. Now with Hank and Steve in the City, things were going to be that much harder. But didn't she deserve to be treated nicely for once?

"I've never really been a girlfriend before. Hope I don't disappoint you."

Baby steps. Girlfriends and boyfriends sleep together, after all.

"Cool, cool, totally."

He sounds all nonchallant, but his antenna are twitching and giving him away. He's psyched.

"It's okay, babe. I got you."

(Pete has never been a girlfriend either. And his boyfriend resume is almost as short.)

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