capeandcowllogs | (no subject)

WHO: Kitty and Gar
WHERE: A movie theater/various other places
WHEN: Sunday night
SUMMARY: Kitty decides to invite Gar on a friends-only-not-awkward outing. Clearly, this will turn out badly.
FORMAT: Parawkward

To be honest, whenever Kitty had gone out with Gar before, she didn't really think too much about her clothing. After the first date, she had fallen into the comfortable routine of wearing jeans and t-shirt because he never really seemed to mind. She had been pretty sure of herself, that it didn't matter what she was wearing because he would like her no matter what. But the situation was different now. How, she wasn't exactly sure, but they were on shaky footing. All confidence in herself and this relationship had just shattered and she wasn't exactly sure how to make it better again.

And so, if only for petty satisfaction, Kitty had consulted with The Fashion Queen herself, Dazzler, to decide on tonight's outfit. A skirt for once and no sneakers in sight. She looked good, if she did say so herself. She hoped Gar missed her more than ever.

She never claimed to be mature.

"Sorry to keep you waiting!" she said cheerfully once she rounded the corner and met Gar by the movie theater.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It wasn't like she planned this-- maybe she had hoped for it, in her heart of hearts-- but Kitty knew they were going to veer right into Regretville after this. She usually had much better sense than this. She had gotten so much better at thinking before doing but these two steps forward had become three steps back.

"Gar-- Gar," she tried to get his attention, amidst the extremely loud sounds of the movie behind them. "Wait." Kitty didn't move out of his grip yet, almost afraid. She knew once she did it would be over for good.

It really sucked to be an adult. Why couldn't she just pretend it didn't bother her that he still had leftover feelings for someone else? Did she still have her own leftover feelings? Still. It had been so recent for him. She couldn't just forget that.

Shit. That was the breaks squeaking, wasn't it? He slowed at the tone that his name had carried, stopped at the word 'wait.' He didn't really have to ask and probably didn't have the voice to, anyway. It'd gotten stuck with the sudden fear that gripped him.

He couldn't look up to meet her gaze, for a moment, but finally did. He probably had the most pathetic expression, somewhere between questioning and pleading. He tried to smile hopefully, but it only amounted to a twitch of his lips. Finally, he managed a hoarse, "Yeah?"

"Do you still have feelings for Raven?"

The words had tumbled right out of her mouth, even though she didn't want to hear the answer. Didn't want to but needed to. This was why she had broken it off in the first place. It wasn't for his sake, it was for her's. Because she didn't want to get hurt again.

She really didn't know what to do.

"Because if you do, and that's understandable, we can't be like this. It's physically painful for me to be next to you--" or on top, "-- and have it be... like this! Of course I want to be with you. I like how things were before. But now they're different and we have to deal with them."

The question dried his mouth out and made him tense up. He drew his hands back and closed his fists as a way to make sure he wouldn't get grab-happy again. When she stated that being near him was physically painful for her... Not to be some dramatic little boy, but it was like a knife twisting. He flinched away, which wasn't that successful with his being pinned below her, looking quickly to the nearest wall and trying not to look upset at that.

"Fine." He said shortly, taking breathes so that his voice wouldn't gargle out pathetically. This wasn't fair. Jumping him and then admonishing him for it... He tried not to look to pout-y, tried not to feel the tiniest bit betrayed. He'd felt much worse, after all. "I don't get how I'm supposed to deal with it, but... Fine."

"I'm not saying it to be mean, Gar. I know you've been through a lot. And it's not for lack of caring, trust me on that. I want to be with you. Really badly. Embarrassingly so. But you..." Kitty paused, unsure of how to say this delicately. "You should talk to Raven. I mean, she's getting married and I know that's shocking. I just don't want to be your consolation prize."

She moved off of his lap, sitting next to him. She almost laughed at how absurd this was.

"I don't know how you're supposed to deal with this. I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this."

Gar turned away and bit the inside of his lip to keep himself from saying something short and stupid. He didn't want to feel... Well, most anything that he was feeling, but most of all he didn't want to feel angry. Even if she said she wasn't being mean, though... Saying one thing and doing another was mean.

He didn't want to talk to Raven, because... Where would that get him? It wouldn't justify his feelings. It wouldn't give him his sense of self-worth back. Seeing her and hearing her voice, having her say some perfectly-measured words about how good and true her love for Arny was-- "Fuck."

He hissed out the curse and reached impulsively for his mouth, where he'd bitten the inside of his lip open with one of his stupid freak-teeth. He stopped himself from whining out loud about it, but let his eyes tear up.

"I can't... I can't prove anything to you, you know." He spoke around his cut lip and fingers. "If I say you're not a consolation prize, you won't believe me."

"You're right. I'm the one who has to come to terms with this. I feel so petty and jealous right now," she finally did laugh, though it was derisive and dry. "You shouldn't have to prove anything to me. I should be confident enough in the both of us that it shouldn't bother me. But it does."

Kitty stood up, suddenly not very in the mood to watch a movie anymore.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't..." He started once she began speaking. He wanted to tell her to stop talking like a freaking therapist or something, and he hadn't meant to blame her, and... He wanted to reassure her, somehow, even if he'd already said he didn't know how to do that.

When she moved, he moved to, letting out a weak, "Wait." He made to reach for her, but fell short and let his arm drop to his side again. "Just... I'm so tired of everything leaving me more pathetic than the last thing, but..." He took a breath and knew, in spite of his words, that he was about to be pretty damn pathetic. "Just tell me what to say, and I'll say it."