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[youmakemesmall.livejournal.com]

WHO: Pepper and Jan
WHERE: Pepper's apartment
WHEN: Sunday night
SUMMARY: After this super intense thread concerning sentient sponges, spousal abuse, and Tony's failed love life, Jan has earned a night in and takes Pepper along for the ride.
FORMAT: parabooze



"You know? If I had Tony's money, I'd probably be an alcoholic," Jan slurred, taking another sip of the $300 champagne that she had bought. "Even the bottle is so pretty. I feel classy. We're classy, right? We totally are."

At least this time she was drinking out of a glass and not the bottle.

"I think I like my world's Tony better. He was always drunk but you know what? He was happy that way! I mean... you looked pretty happy, too. Fat, but happy."

Comments

[behisgirlfriday.livejournal.com]

Pepper deserved every single ounce of alcohol, she figured. It was a sign of the times that she had upped her alcohol consumption from Friday night cocktails to drinking bottles of champagne with an alternate-universe version of Tony's teammate on a Sunday night. Jan hadn't even called her---she'd just shown up with a bottle of white wine and a blood pressure cuff. As Pepper had stood there, baffled, she'd taken her blood pressure and prescribed her "six shots of tequila to be dispensed over the night---trust me, I could have been a doctor."

"You just missed Tony's drunken days by a couple of years," Pepper said, lying on her couch with the bottle of champagne resting on her stomach. She watched the ceiling fan turn, though she swore it was going in two different directions. Propping herself up on her elbows, she frowned at Jan. "The me in your world is fat?"

[youmakemesmall.livejournal.com]

"I mean... not really fat. Chubby. Cute! Whatever. Not important," Jan waved her hand and nearly knocked her glass over. "God, I hate men. All of them. They always want to measure their junk and show that theirs is bigger. So dumb."

Someone was getting drunk dialed tonight.

Probably Hank.

"Especially Tony. He never misses a chance to whip it out, figuratively AND literally."

[behisgirlfriday.livejournal.com]

Pepper groaned, flopping back on the couch.

"I hate men and their penis-measuring contests. Haven't they realized by now that they're the only ones interested in their contests? Maybe I'm only speaking for me, but I don't care. It's stupid. Especially Bond and Tony, jesus. They just don't stop."

She scrunched her nose at a half-itch, still trying to get her head around the idea of a more...matronly version of herself. God willing, most of it was in her breasts. God willing.

"So is important. So is. Tony isn't...I mean," she gave Jan a searching look, her face reddening behind the veil of freckles. "You know."