[Closed] Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies

[shiromadoushi]

WHO: Bakura & Alastair
WHERE: Hell Towers, the Bachelor's suite
WHEN: Tuesday evening
WARNINGS: Awkward. So much awkward
SUMMARY: After near two weeks of trying to avoid/ignore/deny the issue, Bakura is finally taking everyone's advice and confessing to Alastair.
FORMAT: Para



He wasn't quite sure when he had started really avoiding being home. Sometime after the party. Avoiding Alastair as well. Just like Fakir said would happen.

He'd spent the afternoon in the park, weighing his options.

All the advice he had been giving all amounted to the same thing: Tell Alastair how he felt and hope for the best. And just trying to ignore the problem hadn't worked and putting distance between himself and Alastair...

If that was going to happen anyway...


He had planned to talk to Alastair when he had come home from work.

But he hadn't.

He had planned to talk to him before dinner.

But he hadn't done it then either.

Every time he thought he had gotten up the nerve, a thousand worries petrified him and stilled his tounge and he looked down, utterly unable to do or say a thing.

So now, quite a few hours after he had first intended to, he was standing in front of Alastair's door, heart beating hard and fast as if it were the door to a new school rather than to his brother and best friend's room.

He could do this. He could do this. It was just-- telling Alastair something other people already knew. What others had even guessed, much to his utter embarrassment. It wasn't as if Alastair would think he was a horrible pervert or something... right?

He took another deep breath-- he'd lost count of how many as he'd been standing there-- and with a shaking hand, reached out to knock on his brother's door.

Comments

[hackeralastair]

Though he was by nature an asshole, Alastair wasn't completely insensitive. He realized his initial knee-jerk reaction probably wasn't helping things at all, so he slid his laptop over onto the bed next to him and sat up, awkwardly combing some of his unruly bangs back from his face. "Sorry, you kinda took me by surprise, there," he tried to explain. "Shit...Bakura, I thought you...I mean. Okay, let's try this again."

He took a breath and let it out, his shoulders heaving. "So you've got a crush on me or something, huh?"

[shiromadoushi]

Bakura gave a small nod, not looking directly at Alastair, the self-recriminating litany of 'stupid' continuing on in his head.

He didn't trust himself to speak right then. Nor did he want to elaborate.

[hackeralastair]

Sighing again, Alastair rubbed his face and then swung his feet off his bed, so he was sitting on the side of it in a less closed-off manner. "I...I'm sorry, but I don't have...I mean. It's not gonna happen. I told you a long time ago, I'm not good for you. We're supposed to be friends - like brothers, right? I don't wanna ruin that..."

[shiromadoushi]

Bakura gave a very small nod again. "I don't want to ruin it either, I-- I just--"

He looked down at his hands, trying to keep himself from freezing up and shutting down. "I've tried... tried a lot to not-- but when you--"

He tensed a moment before taking in another deep breath and forcing his mind to settle like Ben had taught me. "You're too good looking for your own good, Oniichan..." he finally said softly.

[hackeralastair]

Alastair snorted; his usual retort would be some vain take on "tell me about it," but he held his tongue this time. "Can't change that," he said, instead. "I can't really...I mean, I don't know what to tell you. I've never had to let down somebody I was close to, before. Most of the time it's just blowing off some guy in a club who gets too grabby or wants my number, that's easy." He gestured a little with his hands as he spoke, shrugging. "It's not that you're not dateable material, I just...don't feel that way."

[shiromadoushi]

Again, a small nod. "I shouldn't-- shouldn't have said anything. Sorry..."

Bakura turned to head back to his room. Stupid stupid stupid stupid WHY did he think that would help, he should have known that--

He rubbed almost angerly at his eyes as they threatened to water. He didn't want Alastair to see. He'd already upset him far enough with his stupid self, he didn't want to make it worse.

[hackeralastair]

Alastair just sat there, unsure what else he would even dare to say to Bakura in this situation. There wasn't anything he could do - no comfort, no advice, nothing. And so he remained sitting on his bed, awkwardly silent, his hands dangling in his lap.

He had been afraid of this, a while ago. There was always the risk. But he never hid anything of himself around Bakura even to appear to be a stronger, better brother. If Bakura liked him despite his asshole tendencies, then it was Bakura's fault, not his. Never mind that Alastair still privately harbored subtle feelings of his own for Kiryu, and would hop into bed with Hiruma if the guy so much as looked his way. No, he was definitely not the guy for Bakura, that was no different now than it had been when they first met almost a year ago.

Alastair shook his head slowly, wondering, why me?