capeandcowllogs | (no subject)

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(no subject)

WHO: Heine, Nill.
WHERE: Danny's house.
WHEN: In the very wee hours of the night after this post.
SUMMARY: No one revokes Heine's visitation rights gdi.
FORMAT: Quicklogs are the best logs amirite.

[ He didn't go back to the church. He didn't do anything except run until he was out of break and fuck, his hands were shaking and he hadn't meant to do that. The Dog was a smug, sated presence in the back of his head, and it wasn't that Heine regretted it, but he regretted doing it like that, so sloppy and public and fuck, fuck, fuck.

He scratched two fingers on the window, so softly he wasn't sure Nill would hear. The last thing he wanted was to see Danny and Luke. He was furious when he thought of what Danny had said, telling him that he wouldn't let Heine see Nill. It was better for everyone if he didn't see either of them.

He was still covered in Angelica's blood. It was making his skin crawl, and he tipped his head back towards the sky, wishing for rain, watching his breath puff white in the air. ]

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[She had spent most of the day in her room. She hadn't gone to school that day, had hardly looked at Luke and Danny since they had spoken to Heine. She had put on her nightgown to make them think she was going to bed. She had also thought a lot about just sneaking out the door and going to the church, because she was almost positive that Heine would be there. But her fears had been eased a little when he'd said he would visit her. But only a little.

Nill had made sure she'd stay awake by sewing. Keeping her hands busy was the only way to make sure she didn't miss him. So when the scratch came at the window, she was there almost immediately, wings quivering but not flapping. She didn't want to make any undue noise. There was already a chair pushed in front of her door, just in case.

Pushing the window open, she reached out towards him, towards his face, making sure he was real, was there. His skin was scratchy, sticky, and she knew why.]

Nill.

[ He exhales slowly, keeps very still as her hands graze his face. He wishes she hadn't done that. Nothing of Angelica's should ever touch Nill; he hates the red stains on Nill's fingertips. ]

You shouldn't have had to see that.

[Nill shakes her head. She has seen him kill before. He was protecting her, and now he had been protecting himself. She knew what that woman had done to him; he had told them all that day in the church, right before she had left.

She leans out the window towards him, starting to climb out. She didn't think it was a good idea for him to go inside. It would be too easy for his words to be heard. At least outside, they could be safer.]

[ Immediately, instinctively, to steady her, to lift her out himself. She weighed practically nothing, feather-light in his arms. He set her on the ground gently, as if she were made of china.

His hands left bloody smears on her nightgown, and he grimaced. He should have at least tried to find a place to wash off but he hadn't even though about it. Half the blood was crusted, dried onto his skin and clothes, and the other half was still thick and tacky, sticking to things. He exhaled slowly. ]

Nill, I'm sorry.

[She ignored the blood. There were other things to worry about now. She didn't mind when he lifted her up, and carefully settled on the ground once he set her there. The ground was a little damp, and it was cold outside, but she didn't care as long as she was with Heine. He needed her, and she needed him. There was no getting around it.

Her wings pressed close to her back, and she patted the ground next to her. She just wanted to be near him right now.]

[ His jacket was a mess of blood, but still, he takes it off before he sits and puts it around her shoulders. It's too cold for her to be out here in just her loli-garments. And then he sits, slowly, as if his very bones ache. He's not injured, not in the slightest, but his entire body feels stretched too thin, trying to accomadate the Dog as it paces its cage.

He leans forward, face in his hands. He reeked of her blood, and it was almost too much to bear. ]

I didn't mean to. I lost control and fuck, Nill. I didn't mean to do it like that.

[The weight of his jacket was comforting around her shoulders, even though it was a little heavier because of the blood. But the warmth it brought from his body was almost instant. She was worried for him, seeing the way he moved so stiffly; it wasn't usual for him, and it made her uneasy.

She reached out to touch his hand, worrying her bottom lip for a moment. She wasn't sure what to do for him, exactly. Just being there was as far as she could get in her mind, and that was what she would do.]

I fucked up.

[ He'd meant to do this quietly, so steathily that no one would have known it was him. And then...then he'd lost control, dropped the leash and gotten swallowed up in black and darkness, and woken up to blood on his hands. He couldn't think of it without everything flickering around the edges, and hearing the delighted growl from the Dog. ]

I fucked up and everyone knows now.

[She gripped his hand tightly, her small fingers grasping at his as if her life depended on it. And in a way, it did. He was her savior, her best friend. She wasn't going to let anything bad happen to him if she could help him. She knew that he'd had to kill that woman, but she would never understand why he had put it on the network.

But it didn't matter. She cared for him no matter what he'd done. If he had a reason, that was good enough for her. He wasn't a bad person; he was a very good person. Other people just didn't see it the way she did. She let her head fall on to his shoulder, ignoring the crusted blood that touched her cheek and her hair.]

Edited 2011-01-04 04:12 (UTC)

[ For a minute, he tensed up. God, she was going to be covered in blood, and he couldn't stop thinking about it, afraid that it would taint this somehow, ruin it. But then, slowly, he tipped his head so his cheek rested against Nill's hair. It was, quite possibly, the most demonstrative he'd ever been with anyone. ]

I lost it. I fucking...Nill, I lost control of myself and look what fucking happened.

[She was glad when he relaxed, even if it was just a little and only physically. The blood didn't bother her; it would wash away. But she felt like he would never be able to wash it away, even though she knew it was something that secretly, he'd wanted to do.

Nill gripped his hand, her wings fluttering with worry. She didn't want him to feel this way. She missed the days they had spent in the church just sitting together, when he hadn't been going to all sorts of places that hurt him. She wished Badou was here; at least he could keep Heine safe, or at least safer than she could.]

[ He took a deep breath. He needed to think. To figure out what the next step is because damned if he was getting caught. He needed to do this right, or at least, try to make the best out of this sloppy, horrible situation.

But his thoughts dragged back to the stupid comm post and... ]

Danny isn't going to let me see you anymore.

[She had seen that on the post, and was not happy at all. Nobody could take her away from Heine, not even Danny and Luke. She would always be there for him, she'd even go back to living in the church if it meant she would be able to see him. Danny and Luke had done so much for her since she had been in the City, but Heine had rescued her. She owed him her life. There was no way she was going to sit back and let them be separated.

Nill tried to think of a way to tell him all this, but it was hard without paper. So she just slid a bit closer to him, turning her head just a bit so she could look into his face. She hoped he could read something there in hers.]

[ He looked at her face, then tipped his head forward, touching his forehead to hers and closing his eyes. Nill had always been what calmed him, better than a stress ball or a worry stone. If Danny tried to keep her away, then there was a very, very good chance that he and Heine would have to fight. ]

[She reached up to press her hands to his cheek, and tilted her head back to give him a small kiss on the forehead. She had never felt as safe with anyone as she did with him. Even with everything Danny and Luke had given her, Heine had given her a life. He would always protect her, and she knew that nobody could stop him from being with her.]

Heh.

[ A small smile twitched at his lips, and he tightened his grip on her hand. There was no way he could stay away from her, no way for Danny to expect him not to always come back for her. It was just how things worked. Heine came back for Nill; it was nonnegotiable. ]

I should go.

[Nill wasn't ready for him to go yet, but she knew he was right. She didn't want Luke or Danny to find him, and get angry. Her brow furrowed; she wanted to see him again. On his hand, she traced the word CHURCH, and tilted her head. He would be there, right?]

Yeah. Yeah, for a little while.

[ He squeezed her hand tightly before letting go, standing up, leaving his jacket on her. He hated this, but... ]

I'll see you soon.

[She stood with him, pulling the jacket tighter around her thin shoulders. Tears pricked at her eyes, and she couldn't stop them from starting to fall now. Nill stepped close to him and wrapped her arms around his waist for a brief, tight hug; she would find a way to see him, no matter what.]

Nill...

[ He never...exactly knew how to respond to physical contact, but it was different with Nill. He rubbed her back, fingers tangling in her hair, keeping her close for a few minutes before gently disentangling herself from her. ]

It'll be okay.

[She didn't want him to let go, but she knew he had to. It was getting closer to morning every second; Danny or Luke might wake up and catch them. Wiping her arm across her face, she nodded to him, trying not to cry anymore. Her birthday was coming up, and sixteen was supposed to be when girls grew up. She was pretty sure she had heard that somewhere, anyway. Nill took half a step back, blue eyes wide and alert, but sad. Her small mouth was a frown, and her hair was messy from where his hands had been. She knew he'd come back, he always did.]

[ He hesitates for a second, and then he's gone, running as fast as he can back towards the church. He doesn't look back. ]

[She watches him run until he's disappeared into the darkness. Then she stands for another minute, just in case, before climbing back inside the window. She tip-toes to the bathroom to rinse the blood away from her skin, then throws her nightgown and his coat into the laundry so she can wash both in the morning. She'll keep it safe for him. After putting on new pajamas, she crawls into bed and tries not to cry as she thinks about him running away.]

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