capeandcowllogs | Straw Hat Shopping

Entry tags:

Straw Hat Shopping

WHO: Sanji, Usopp, and Zoro starring in alphabetical order
WHERE: various stores downtown
WHEN: Friday?
WARNINGS: willful encouragement of theft. We're sorry but they are pirates
SUMMARY: Sanji teaches the other two how to use credit cards. Other people's credit cards. Mafia credit cards.
FORMAT: idk I start with para, do whatever

Zoro's teleporting may have taken him to some unlucky places, but this time, it resulted in a lucky acquisition. Sanji had been around the club long enough to have learned most of the ways of credit cards (though he had none of his own), and knew that they had to act fast to make use of the ones Zoro had collected before the owners cancelled them. Of course, much like the sailboat, that depended on those cards being legal in the first place. Thus, Sanji had a good feeling about this shopping trip.

Besides, Usopp needed a new couch, and both of them needed new clothes. Sanji was getting sick and tired of Zoro wearing his pants, because they often came back bloodstained or ripped. It was time to take care of that little problem. What better way than by stealing from thieves? It was their favorite thing to do.

The mall was a good place to start. They could shop all kinds of places and see how many cards they could get through before someone caught on.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Ahhh!" Usopp drawled loudly, taking in the mall like a child that was taking in Disneyworld. "It's so big! So many stores!" He had been in the mall a couple times in the past, but once he was just wandering, and the other he had ran in and ran out with stolen winter supplies--remembering that he wondered if he was a marked man in the mall? Well, he was sure he could get a few changes of clothes in before that happened.

A particular store caught his eye and he pointed at it, turning to face Sanji and Zoro with a face that suggested this was entirely serious business. "Can we go there first?"

He was pointing at a candy store.

Zoro frowned at Usopp, arms crossed. He hadn't really wanted to come. It wasn't so much that he didn't like shopping so much as he disliked clothes shopping. Which was what Sanji was making him do.

Although, granted, it would be nice to stop wearing Sanji's pants. How the cook could stand wearing such tight jeans, Zoro would never know. Or care to know.

He glared at Usopp a bit longer before firmly stating, "no".

"No," Sanji said at the same time. "What are you, Chopper? If you want that, use your own damn money. Now."

He fished out an array of cards from his pocket and dealt them each an even number. He had already warned them about how to get it swiped without having to show ID, and that they needed to sign any slips of paper presented to them with the name on the card, not their own. "Get what you need, first. Luxuries can come later, when we know which cards still work." He eyed Zoro, and then added, "Maybe we should stick together in case someone gets lost."

"What?? What's the fun in buying candy with my own money?" he grumbled. "I guess that makes sense though. I think I'd rather a decent winter shirt over candy..."

He eyes Zoro along with him and leaned in close to Sanji, whispering loudly like there was no way Zoro could hear him at this volume, "Maybe we can find one of those leashes I suggested before. You know, with the animal backpack?"

Zoro starts to draw his sword, glaring daggers at them. "You two have a death wish today or something?"

Of course the threatening atmosphere is completely gone when a woman walking by notices the sword and screams, alerting everyone in the mall to the fact that there's a dude with... three swords walking around. Zoro turns towards the woman, with a less deadly glare, but a glare all the same because shut up, lady. Of course this only makes the situation worse.

Sanji was in the middle of laughing at Zoro's expense when there were suddenly swords and screaming and...well, shit. He grabbed Zoro's arm first, and then turned to the woman. "No, no, it's not like that, ma'am. They're...uh...it's just..."

He changed tactics and zipped over to her, putting on his most charming air, talking gently and smoothly, doing his best to convince her that no one could possibly walk around a public place like this with real swords, now could they? That's right, nothing to see here.

Usopp was preparing to launch into some grandiose story about how they were just actors preparing to do a scene in the mall when Sanji, of course, swooped in. He grimaced a little and elbowed Zoro in the side. "C'mon, let's get outta here before we lose our lunches." He started to saunter away, glowering down at Zoro's swords, "You should really learn to leave those things at home, you know?"

He should talk, he had a giant slingshot still stuck to his back.

Zoro followed Usopp, if only to get away from Sanji's sickening display. Resting his hand on the hilt of Wado Ichimonji, he glared at Usopp from the corner of his eye. He grunted in reply, cutting the glare short and looking ahead of them.

He is the best company ever, clearly.

Whether or not the woman was convinced, at least Sanji had managed to buy his crewmates an escape, and the hubbub died down pretty quickly after that. He excused himself politely and chased them down a few minutes later.

"Honestly, I can't take you two anywhere," he snarled. "I wish Nami were here, she would know how to deal with you. Come on." He charged past them and took the lead for the moment, steering off into one of the clothing stores on the side without even caring what it was. Urban Outfitters couldn't be all bad, right?

"H-Hey! What did I do!" he whined. "I'm not the one going around swinging swords around in a society where they arrest you for being in the wrong place with a nail file in your pocket." He crossed his arms and pouted as he mindlessly followed him into the store. "And you damn well know if we were with Nami she'd hog all the credit cards to herself."

He finally took notice of all the racks of clothes they were heading toward, cocking his head to the side. "Boy. They sure do love plaid here." And, once again, he shouldn't be criticizing such things as he's walking around in hillbilly overalls and beach bum hats.

Zoro gave Usopp a brief annoyed look before turning his head to sneer at a rack of tight hipster pants. God, Zoro missed his baggy pant-skirt thing, and from the looks of this place, they only sold Sanji's type of clothing. Meaning tight clothes that cut off circulation. Zoro had no idea how the cook could even manage to fight in such tight pants, and didn't care to find out himself. He scowled.

"Oi, cook. I'm not shopping here."

Edited 2011-01-22 19:00 (UTC)

As Sanji stood there with his hands in his pockets, he looked around with a disgusted sort of expression. He wouldn't have shopped there either - he was wearing his black trousers and a dress shirt as usual under his coat. "Yeah, uh. There's other stores. Come on..." He turned to Usopp. "Unless you see something you like?" He was eyeing that floppy hat, wondering why the hat instead of a bandanna these days.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked defensively. "Fine, I'll go take a look around, maybe there's a shirt somewhere that won't make me look like a farmer." Really, he just shouldn't talk when wearing the stuff he is.

He parted company with the two other men and started wandering through the racks. He eventually did find not-plaid shirts but nothing that really stuck out to him. He rounded the back of the store and was heading into the women's area where he thought to himself he ought to backtrack fast before getting some sort of jab from the others, but was distracted by a little section of hats. Hats with animal faces.

He started chuckling as he went up to them, and it grew into an all-out laugh when he pulled two hats off the rack. "Hey! Hey guys, here! I found the perfect accessories for you!" He held up two trendy knit animal caps, complete with ear flaps and ties ending in pom-poms. The duck one he held out to Sanji, the bulldog to Zoro.

Zoro looked at Usopp, looked at the hat, looked at Usopp, looked at the hat again, then turned on his heel and started to walk towards the exit.

"I'm leaving." He grumbled, bumping into a plaid-wearing hipster on his way out. He glared at the guy, which seemed to quiet the snarky retort the kid was planning on making.

Sanji just stood there giving Usopp a deadpan look. "You can wear that," he sniffed after Zoro left them. "It'll look great with your new afro."

He glanced over his shoulder at the swordsman. "Oi, Zoro. Don't go too far or you'll teleport. Wait up a minute."

"My hair may look great, but it so doesn't match." He quickly looked between the two men and decided it was less life threatening to force a goofy hat onto the man that fought with his legs than the man with the swords. "Here, here, if you'd only try it on, Sanji-kun!" He launched forward, shoving the ducky hat on him before he could say anything against it. "Zoro! Tell him how fashionable he looks now."

"He looks like an idiot." Zoro said bluntly. Because really, when was he not blunt. He glares at another hipster, crossing his arms and turning the glare at his two crewmates.

"Can we go now?"

Before Sanji could even think about yanking the duck off his head, he heard Zoro and rounded on him, snarling. "I'll show you who's an idiot! Shut up, seaweed-head!" He whipped back toward Usopp, the pom-poms at the end of the ties swishing with him. "And as for you..."

Just then, a trio of girls walked by and giggled. A lot. Sanji looked to verify that yes, they were indeed giggling at him, and not in a 'oh look at that isn't he cute' way, and then snatched the offending hat off his head as quickly as he could. "Women are laughing at me!" he hissed at Usopp. He drew back a foot and tried to drop-kick the hat, but it was floppy and knit and just sort of flipped over onto the floor less than three feet away from them. That only pissed Sanji off even more, and he stormed out, grabbing Zoro by the arm to keep him from wandering off. "Yes. Let's go."

There were a lot of other stores. There had to be something worth wearing, somewhere.

He was laughing until Sanji tried to kick the hat, at which point he fell silent to watch him fail boot it. That only made him laugh harder, tears coming to his eyes. He dropped the hat on top of a random pile of clothes and followed them out, calming down enough to wipe his eyes and ask, "Boy, you guys sure are grumpy today." He pushed through them to walk between them, jamming his hands in his pockets. "Like something crawled up your butts and died."

Zoro had spent the time outside of the store by trying to pry Sanji off of himself, growling and being grumpy all over. He turned the growl over to Usopp once he appeared. "Shut up, Usopp." A few seconds later, he yanked his hand free and grumpily walked without speaking. Just glaring at everyone who passed him and looking for stores with loose clothing.

Sanji let go of Zoro just as Usopp joined them, which was good, because now there was a nice, safe barrier between him and the stupid swordsman. All the better. Even if he was annoyed with Usopp for making him look dumb in front of girls. "You wouldn't understand," he complained to Usopp, "you don't care about looking stupid in front of women."

They passed a ladies' store and a jewelry store, and then came a string of clothing shops, each one spilling loud music of varying styles out the front. There was something off-putting about the one that had no clothing displays, just large pictures of half-naked men, so Sanji hurried past it to the next one, which was blaring punk rock and showing off a brand new line of t-shirts to go with...well, damn, that same pirate movie they had watched a few weeks ago. Sanji actually stopped and boggled. "...the hell?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Straw Hat Shopping

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject