And you're right there, but I can't see you

[guardiandevil]

WHO: Matt and anyone who is visiting him in the hospital
WHERE: A hospital...
WHEN: Backdated to Sunday night through Thursday afternoon. Please specify the time and date in your post! :)
WARNINGS: ???
SUMMARY: Matt is in the hospital and people visit him
FORMAT: Whatever you like.

Matt was pretty lousy at this sort of thing. The idea of lying still and letting people poke him and prod him and study his body never sat well with him. He didn't like having to explain away gunshot and stab wounds, or deal with the inevitable vision tests that doctors always seemed to want to perform on him. He especially didn't like that these doctors were strangers to him, people who didn't know him or know his history. He couldn't really trust these people to figure out what was wrong with him, why he'd lost his memories, or why his powers were gone.

But without his radar, he was useless. He felt so paralyzed without it, like he was broken and had no chance in the world of ever being fixed again. Now instead of being Hell's Kitchen's most feared defender he was some pitiful, strung out blind guy. It was quite a way to fall. Sure, he'd experienced a loss of his powers before, but this seemed so much more profound and terrifying. Maybe it was the not knowing how it had happened or who was responsible.

Someone had to be responsible, right? He didn't roofie himself. He didn't rough himself up. But he could remember anything since Tuesday. Whoever had done this had picked the perfect target: without his powers, he wouldn't be able to identify them anyway, with or without the drugs.

As it was now, he couldn't identify the visitors in his room, not without hearing their voices or being told they were there. He couldn't smell people, he couldn't hear their heartbeats. He could do nothing but lie in that bed and wait for some strange doctor to give approval for him to leave.

Matt was pretty sure he was going to go insane.

Comments

[guardiandevil]

A girlfriend?

[indentcision]

No. I don't think so. [ Contemplatively: ] One day, I wouldn't be surprised. She liked me a lot. More than anyone else ever has, since--

[ Well. ]

[guardiandevil]

[Matt's quiet for a moment. He can empathize with that, even though he doesn't particularly want to.]

Why'd you let her decide?

[indentcision]

I trusted her. That's all.

[guardiandevil]

And you don't trust anyone else to let them decide?

[indentcision]

No. [ Well he did ask you what it said, but-- ] Why should I trust people who think I'm some kind of subhuman creature that festers on the bottom rung on humanity?

[guardiandevil]

And who actually thinks that, Harvey?

[indentcision]

More like who doesn't.

[guardiandevil]

You're not a monster. You're a man, no more, no less.

[indentcision]

[ Harvey frowns. He looks at his coin again. ]

That's poetic, Murdock. I should have expected something like it.

What should I do, then?

[guardiandevil]

Yes, probably.

It's not my choice to make. I'm telling you to make it.

[indentcision]

Hn. Fine.

[ Flips his coin again. ]

[guardiandevil]

[Growling impatiently.]

Don't flip the damn coin. Make up your own mind.

[indentcision]

[ Angrily: ] I can't do that.

[guardiandevil]

Why the hell not?

[indentcision]

I need it! [ Snarled. He stands, still uncertain of what to do. ] I should have known you wouldn't understand. You aren't like her at all.

[guardiandevil]

[Calmly:]

That's a cop out. That's just an excuse, Harvey. You're just making excuses.

[indentcision]

You're wrong. This is all I have. This is how I balance the good and the bad. There isn't anything without it.

[guardiandevil]

It's just a coin.

[indentcision]

No it's not. But it is just.

[guardiandevil]

That isn't justice. That's chance.

[indentcision]

Everything is chance. Even justice. At least it's fair. What happened to me was chance, but to someone else it was justice. They're not so different.

[guardiandevil]

Aha. And what happened to me, was that justice?

[indentcision]

Maybe.

Want to find out?

[guardiandevil]

You're gonna flip the coin to tell me whether or not it was just for a twelve year old kid to get hit by a truck and blinded?

[A long pause.]

Go ahead.