capeandcowllogs | (no subject)

Entry tags:

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(no subject)

WHO:

slayerpreferred
WHERE: Buffy's place?
WHEN: This past monday? This monday? IDK
WARNINGS: Probably none... INTENSE CONVERSATIONS
SUMMARY: Angel and Buffy need to share words in a word sharing conversation
FORMAT: actionspamtastic

[ Angel still, had no idea how he was supposed to do this. It had almost been easier when Buffy came to visit him in L.A. because then at least they had argued. It had been easier to tell her to go home, that they both needed to live their own lives when their words were both too sharp and angry to try to fit any amount of warmth in-between. And warmth, for Angel, was enough of a rarity to begin with.

But now he was supposed to talk? And while he'd much rather do it face to face than over the communication devices, he didn't know if he could talk to begin with. The prospects were terrifying; Cordy's death, Connor's existence, how he could just go ahead and tell Buffy those kind of things when no one else was supposed to know to begin with? And how could he even expect her to speak to him afterward? He didn't really want to lose the one good thing he had here, but he didn't want to lie to her, either.

It was Buffy. She was different; she had always been... different.

Standing in front of the door to her apartment, Angel wouldn't be surprised if Buffy knew he was here before he even knocked. Which had nothing to do with why he was hesitating, and more to do with his continued curiosities as to how this place effected all of them. And then he was finally knocking on the door, somehow going even quieter as he waited for Buffy to answer. ]

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He was raised in a hell dimension. By someone who wasn't me.

[Her eyebrows knit together, scooting a little closer on the couch.] Angel...

[ He levels her with a look that's all guilt and not a whole lot of anything else. ]

This really isn't something you should be comforting me about.

[She looks immediately crestfallen, though she's quick to pave it over.]

.. I know. But I just want to understand.

I know you do, it's just complicated. All of it's.. complicated. [ he sighs, wishing he could go at this from a clinical approach where it didn't upset him and it didn't hurt both of them more than he wanted it to hurt anyone in the first place. ]

What part? How he got there, or what happened after he came back?

Start from the beginning. I don't have to be anywhere.

I don't think you want to hear the part about Darla.

[To her credit, she doesn't grimace.] Maybe not the very beginning.

[ She gets a lot of points for that. A lot.

And there's maybe half a second, or half of that even, where Angel starts to look like he might talk about the happier memories. When they first had Connor. But he won't let himself go there, and so he's starting on in. ]

Wesley found out about a prophecy, said that I was gonna kill my son. So he took it upon himself to get Connor out of the equation.

[She knew he was leaving out more than just the Darla part, but he was talking and that's more than he'd done since arriving here. More than he even expected.]

That's why things are...tense. Between you.

Tense is putting it lightly, Buffy. [ Angel's just not sure he can look at her anymore, gaze settling somewhere over her shoulder. ]

The prophecy was a lie, set up by a guy whose family Darla and I killed back in the 1700's. He was resurrected by a demon, but Holtz was still more than interested in getting revenge. Wesley just didn't tell any of us what he was doing when he took Connor.

So you assumed the worst.

We didn't know what to assume- so yeah, I did. We couldn't even find Wesley, and by the time we did, Connor'd already been taken.

... Is comforting still off the table? Because this seems, comfort-worthy.

Can't really stop you. [ But Angel's look said that he thought he anything but deserved it. ]

[She reached out for his hand, radiating empathy] What happened--after?

[ It took him a few overly long moments, just looking at Buffy, but then he caved and gave her hand a squeeze. ]

He came back a few weeks later, except he was eighteen and Holtz had... raised him on stories about Angelus. Told him he was his actual father and that i'd destroyed their family. That was apart from the growing up in a place he had to fight for his life every second.

But uh- as soon as Connor came back, Holtz left him with me and then got himself murdered, made it look like a vampire attack. Connor kind of figured it was me and put me at the bottom of the ocean for a few months.

He did what?

Locked me in a casket and sunk it down to the bottom of the ocean. Took it upon himself to figure out what I deserved.

Never really wanted to get that up close and personal with marine life, though.

[She tightens her grip on his hand, confused and worried and angry and a thousand other things she never wants to put a name to.]

..How'd you get out?

Wesley. [ it's a simple enough answer, but Angel doesn't think the specifics are too terribly important, distracting himself for a moment by looking at her hand in his own. ]

There's something else. What is it?

[ Angel is quick to look back up to her face, expression almost unreadable in its pain. ] Buffy..

You don't have to tell me. [She offered him a melancholy smile, putting her other hand over his.] But you can.

[ He didn't want to tell her -- not because he didn't want her, or anyone else, to know, but because he didn't want to have to say it But out of everyone, he felt as if she had the right to know, that it wasn't a secret he could keep from her. ]

Cordelia, she- [ that just didn't mean he could make himself say the words. ] Right before I showed up here.