well jesus christ i'm alone again

[crab]

WHO: karkat vantas, gamzee makara.
WHERE: gamzee's house.
WHEN: evening of 2nd of may.
WARNINGS: gamzee being gamzee???
SUMMARY: karkat revives and becomes worried about a murderous clown running around unchecked.
FORMAT: quick.

[ it took him some time to get back to gamzee's home. after being ported back into the city he'd spent a full twenty minutes on a bench in the street just breathing, gasping, wheezing, near hyperventilating until he'd adequately reassured himself that he wouldn't suddenly stop. he'd apprehensively slid a hand up under his shirt to discover a circular mass of slightly raised and fragile textured scar tissue, proof that it had really happened. he had really died. not dreaming. not a dreamself. he had really, honestly and undeniably died.

he didn't have time to try and comprehend that fact. he didn't know how long he'd been dead, and it would take time to get back to gamzee's house with as little knowledge of the layout of the city as he had. he does eventually make it back, however, after what we'll assume was a comical travel montage in which many hijinks were achieved.

only, standing in front of it, he isn't sure how to go about entering. what if he forgets a booby trap... what is gamzee isn't even there? no, he doesn't want to imagine what his moirail might be getting up to without him. he opts to ... try something at the very least. ]

Gamzee!

Comments

GOD I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH ICON TO PICK

[caprihorn]

[There isn't even a second that goes by between Gamzee hearing Karkat's voice, his eyes widening in surprise, and then him flash stepping the fuck out of the house to go and try and grab his bro as quickly and tightly as he can.]

_{You're back,} motherfuckin' breathing _{not looking all wrong.}

You're back, _{you're back,} you're fuckin' back.

_{Don't ever} do that shit again.

HAHAHA

[crab]

[ karkat nearly leaps out of his skin when he finds himself suddenly encapsulated in gamzee's crushing grip, and lets out an undignified noise of surprise. ]

Shit! You could give me some warning before spontaneously materializing and trying to crush me to death, asshole, I just got back from that.

[caprihorn]

[He relaxes the hold, but he's too nervous to just let go. Part of him just wants to keep making sure this is real and that Karkat isn't an apparition that'll disappear soon.]

_{Sorry bro} just real happy to have yourself back. _{You don't know how much I missed you} and how much I motherfuckin' all missed you.

[crab]

How long was I gone? [ so, so apprehensively. how long has he been dead, how long has gamzee been without his influence. he cannot believe that nothing would have happened in the interim between his death and now. ]

[caprihorn]

[Frowning he just keeps a gentle hold on Karkat while he says:]

_{You ain't been up in here for a week.} Seemed longer.

[crab]

Oh my god. [ it comes out as a groan, and he tenses up in gamzee's hold even more than he had before. ] What's happened? What did you do?

[caprihorn]

[Curling out of his mouth is one of his darker tones, that one that says I made sure something died.]

_{Did what was fuckin' right to get on doing.} Had some help so I know it wasn't just my anger making me have the idea sit up in my pan.

[crab]

[ karkat's blood runs cold at that tone. ]

No. No! What did you do, you moronic piece of shit, who did you kill?! [ he knows who, though. who else? ]

[caprihorn]

_{The biledrinker who murdered yourself.} The one that kept threatening you and tricked you at coming to himself so he could kill you.

_{The dumb motherfucker who thought he could get away with shit like this.}

[crab]

[ fuck. fuck. fuck. this is all his fault. ]

He didn't trick me you snotpanned fuckwad, I called him out. And I've been threatening him for months! Why did you do that? What could possibly infect your cognitive capabilities to such a point that that would seem like a good idea? He's only going to come back, and he's going to be pissed to high goddamn hell at both of us. What do you think you've done?!

[ wait. ]

Who helped you? What's happened since I- while I've been gone.

[caprihorn]

Doesn't motherfuckin' excuse himself from killing you. _{Why the fuck are you up at defending him like that?}

Kanaya and myself both fuckin' know he needed the lesson what he got.

[crab]

I'm not defending him, I'm telling you that you are fucking retarded if you think this solves anything!

[caprihorn]

_{It up and does solve shit though bro.} Won't think he can get to having you as easy as a fleshripper's had a swimming little glubber.

[crab]

Do you really think he's going to be content to sit back on his globes and twiddle his bulge after this? Are you honestly that stupid?

[caprihorn]

[Loooong pause.

And then:]

_{He's got to stay away from yourself.}

[crab]

And everybody else? You didn't stop to think about what he might do to you, or Kanaya, or anyone else he decides to drag into it? Fuck you.

[caprihorn]

Kanaya up and took my arm she can fuckin' handle herself. _{And he already got to killing you.} Don't have anything left to lose that's important.

[crab]

Hey, here's a little public service announcement for you, shit head, you're not the only asshole in existence with something to lose.

[ he would really prefer not seeing you dead, gamzee. ):B ]

[caprihorn]

[Yeah that thought won't even occur to him since he's just used to dodging all of Eridan's attacks.]

_{I'll protect any motherfucker that's close at you too, bro.} Fuckin' know that.

[crab]

Maybe my goddamn moirail is someone who is "up at close to me", Gamzee.

[caprihorn]

[Quieter all of a sudden and a more concerned look falls on his features.]

_{Eridan can't hit myself,} won't get to having an opportunity to hit me. _{I all promise.}

[Shifting he looks Karkat directly in the eyes and keeps them locked.]

[crab]

[ karkat lets his head fall forward a little, bumping his forehead against gamzee's. ]

You shouldn't have killed him.

[ pause. ]

And you wouldn't have if I hadn't gotten myself killed like an incompetent crotchrocket.

[caprihorn]

[He leans his forehead back, keeps his neck bent low but firm like a side of an arch on a thousand-year-old doorway.

He doesn't argue because what is there to say against it? He could say sorry, but he wouldn't feel it. Arguing against that first statement has been getting him nowhere awfully fast this entire time. Worst of all, that last part is completely true.

No, there's nothing to be said, all that's left to do is to try to hold on and quietly:]

Honk.

[crab]

[ and just as quietly- ] I'm sorry.

[caprihorn]

_{Ain't the one that done wrong here, Karkat.}

[Attempting to move his face in Karkat's hair he'll give him a tiny platonic kiss if he lets him.]

[crab]

[ he does let him, although he bristles at what gamzee says. ]

No, you ass chomping douche, you aren't. I called Eridan out and antagonized him despite what you'd been trying to beat through my thick skull for the past two months that, oh, Eridan is a murdering shithead and provoking him might not be the most amazing idea you've ever had, maybe you should stop screaming at your problems until they shrivel up out of the second hand embarrassment of being associated with such a mentally deficient evolutionary hiccup, or turn around and blast a hole through your torso because you're trying to talk sense into them, like that wasn't a complete waste of fucking time from the start, why would you ever even entertain the notion that you two used to be friends or something equally revolting like that! Surprise, Vantas, just because you're too much of an underdeveloped jellyspined grubfucker to shank a bitch doesn't mean every other troll is! You couldn't stop him from killing your friends, what made you think you could stop him from wrecking your considerably more worthless shit?

[ not even addressing gamzee at this point. DON'T MIND HIM HE IS JUST TALKING TO HIMSELF AGAIN. ]

[caprihorn]

Meant you weren't at fault neither.

[And now quick as can be he circles his arms around like a tight lock on a bike and tries to hold him tight.]

_{Didn't kill yourself.}

[crab]

I brought it on myself, though. [ said tiredly into gamzee's shoulder. he's not pushing him away or hugging back he's just kind of... there. ] This is all my fault.

[caprihorn]

[Slightly angry:] Motherfuck, no. _{Eridan's at fault for what he did at you.}

You ain't him.

[crab]

Eridan is the worst piece of half chewed garbage terrible ever picked out its unbrushed, refuse encrusted fangs, and no, thank fucking god, I am not him. I don't know why you seem to think this isn't a point I have been and will continue to be one hundred percent aware of. I gave him the chance to kill me, though, when I could have avoided doing so and averted this entire fiasco. Why do I have to spell this out for you? You are the very person who has been telling me this for the past two goddamn months.

[caprihorn]

_{'Cause you didn't make the choice to get killed.} He got his choice on to murder you.

_{And you all keep making it sound} backwards like a clock that don't decide to hit one after twelve _{just goes round past eleven again.} Shit ain't right.

[crab]

I should have expected him to! I knew what he was capable of, I'd fucking seen it myself, Gamzee. I might as well have served myself up to him on a silver nutrition plateau with a target on my torso and "please murder me" painted across my face. I let you and everyone else down by not doing the intelligent thing and leaving him alone.

[caprihorn]

_{Still ain't your fault.} Should have protected yourself better than I up and did.

[crab]

I wouldn't let you protect me, if you can remember every other exchange we've had since I got here. [ he slings an arm around gamzee now, butting his shoulder gently with his horns.

there's a long, considering pause, before he says, very quietly: ]

I didn't actually think he'd kill me.

My icons for this suck

[caprihorn]

[Gamzee lets him, kind of tries to curl his shoulder a bit to accommodate those suckers. Honks gently to Karkat.]

_{Wouldn't have if he had anything in his pan or his pump biscuit.}