this city never sleeps

[luckout]

WHO: Vriska Serket [luckout] and Kanaya Maryam [glowsferatu]
WHERE: Vriska's hive
WHEN: Sometime last week because King and I are Decisive
WARNINGS: Language mostly
SUMMARY: Kanaya comes to see Vriska, the papers are possibly moved
FORMAT: Brackets

[Most people are probably out doing last minute shopping for Christmas, but that most doesn't include Vriska, who is hunched over her computer tapping away and doing god knows what. She's probably playing MMOs, if we're being honest though. She doesn't celebrate Christmas, despite having heard of it from human friends. It's not a troll holiday, and she never really celebrated 12th Perigees back home anyway, so it's really just another regular week for her, just with a noticeable temperature drop. She should probably invest in more blankets or thicker clothes or something.]

Comments

[glowsferatu]

[ kanaya still wasn't sure she wanted to do this. it had been easy to put off with everything else she's had to do, and she could always just wait until vriska was out and just leave the present there for her to find, but it's been over a month now since they've spoken, and knowing aranea's gone means vriska probably hasn't had many people around. so, as usual, it falls to her.

she sits in front of the door a minute or two, just trying to make a decision and looking forlornly at all the notes they'd put up, now long neglected and starting to lose their color from exposure. she could just sit here all night in her fashionably warm hat and thick green knee-length coat, drawing elaborate parallels between the state of those notes and their relationship, but that wouldn't be productive and she still has a lot to do tonight.

so, she finally takes a deep breath to bolster her resolve, shifts the two packages under her arm to find a more comfortable position for them and knocks on the door.

she's actually knocking for once and afraid of reading too much into that fact. ]

[luckout]

[People don't usually knock on her door, when she actually has visitors. It's either John or Kanaya visiting, but the former is the only one known for knocking. So it's with that in mind that she logs off her game and approaches the door, a smile tugging at her lips. She reaches for handle, twisting and pulling it open and already starting to speak.]

You usually let me know when you're coming over, J- [She snaps her mouth shut abruptly, set in a grimace. She's been avoiding this encounter, been avoiding Kanaya as much as she can since she died. There's too many things she figured out that she doesn't want to face straight on, because it means she was wrong about something. She wishes she'd never run into Feferi and had that feelings jam fling. Everything was so much easier before she'd sorted out them all out.]

Maryam. What's the occasion that you're actually knocking?

[glowsferatu]

I just thought I'd... [ immediately regret coming here to begin with. this was a dumb idea, vriska won't want to talk to her, she's not especially feeling like talking, she should turn around and leave.

unfortunately, she still has the other nagging part of her brain telling her that's all stupid, she's being stupid, and she needs to see this through. that part is apparently controlling her feet, which do not budge an inch. ]

Can I come in?

[luckout]

You're actually asking too? What the hell is up with you?

[It's a minute or two of uncertainty before she finally steps aside to let Kanaya in. She shouldn't, she should just tell her no and to get lost but maybe... Just maybe with Kanaya here she can rekindle that hate she thought she had. Maybe it wasn't all a mistake of feelings, maybe it was real all along and she was just confused.]

What do you want, Kanaya?

[glowsferatu]

I don't know, it's simply that I haven't seen you for quite some time, and so I thought I might rectify that. It feels...a lot longer than it should, by all means, but that doesn't really change that we've been in far too separated corners.

[ experiencing nearly a sweep of your unlife during a week's absence will do that. she's mostly sorted the mess her head was in when she came back, but there are still some things that linger. she hasn't forgotten why she started so actively hunting gamzee to begin with.

she steps into the house, but doesn't get far before she stops, turning back to face vriska, taking the two packages out from under her arm and offering them to her. better to at least get that out of the way. they aren't elaborately wrapped, just brown paper held together with string. ]

These are for you.

[luckout]

You couldn't take the hint?

[It comes out before she can stop it, and she wants to take it back, because she isn't sure she meant it but there's a good chance that she really did. She sets her jaw and starts again.]

You stopped coming around after you got your stupid ass killed.

[Her eyes flick to the packages, but she doesn't take them.]

Why?

[glowsferatu]

Maybe I wasn't satisfied with the conclusion it hinted at. Maybe I thought we deserved better after everything. Something more dignified, at least. [ she brushes her bangs out away from her forehead, tucking them behind her ear. ] I may have had a busy month, but there was nothing preventing your establishing contact. There never has been.

[ she continues holding out the package, maybe shaking it a little to passive-aggressively tell vriska to fucking take it already. ]

It's getting cold out. I thought you could do with a coat.

[luckout]

[Vriska finally relinquishes and takes the present, dropping it on the floor inside her hive instead of opening it. It's true that she's been needing a coat, so she might as well take advantage of it. She leans against the door frame, frowning.]

I wasn't interested in establishing contact, wasn't that obvious? Let's face it, Kanaya, this is a joke. It has been ever since you started showing you still cared.

[No, it was before then, but it was easier to blame Kanaya for the failure.]

[glowsferatu]

[ kanaya's face hardens as the package is dropped, he eyes staying on the spot on the floor it occupies for a few moments as her mouth tries for something resembling a sneer. it comes out as a pout.

her eyes finally meet vriska's again. ] I've always cared, Vriska. That's my weakness. It never kept you away before but by your own weakness.

You could at least do me the courtesy of taking the responsibility you're due.

[ but she can't exactly say vriska's wrong, either. the spark isn't there anymore, not the same way. it isn't hate that draws her ire at vriska's word, just annoyance. she can't even feel heartbroken at the implication here, she knew it was coming already. the only feeling is a sad sort of emptiness. ]

[luckout]

Let's just say I was really good at deluding myself into thinking you hated me more than you cared. But that was never the case, was it?

[It feels empty to Vriska too. It's a void she doesn't want to be there, though even if this hadn't gone south like this, John would have probably had a problem with it anyway. Still, she thought that they'd finally found the quadrant that could work for them, but it turned out to be just as big a failure as the last one. And had ended much the same. Fizzled away into nothing.]

There's nothing I have to take responsibility for here, Kanaya. You're the one who couldn't keep your feelings straightened out. I'm starting to doubt you ever actually hated me in the first place. If anything, you could say you were stringing me along! Again.

[glowsferatu]

[ with just those last few words, kanaya can already feel her fists balling, her eyes shutting tight to keep her from staring daggers. she wasn't going to get mad, she didn't want to get mad, she just wanted to put it to rest. what she didn't need is a reminder of just why she'd hated vriska so much to begin with. ]

You are absolutely incredible. I can hardly believe that someone like you could even deign to exist! The only thing worse is that I fooled myself into thinking you could actually change.

[ her eyes open, she couldn't hold the dagger back forever. ] I'm not an apathetic person, Vriska, and I never pretended to be anything short of what I am. I do what I have to, and maybe if you weren't such a mess yourself, I could have held it back. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's that. When you died, I didn't give up on you because of how I felt. I didn't give up on us. Don't act like the timing of this is coincidence, that it only comes at some revelation of what I am rather than how you feel.

Know this, I have never hated anyone the way I did you. That was never a lie. I never fucking strung you along! But I'm not your scapegoat anymore. You can't blame me for your shortcomings, you'll have to own up to them yourself.

You owe me that much.