capeandcowllogs | THE GOTTALA JELEBELLIOS

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THE GOTTALA JELEBELLIOS

WHO: ImPorts.
WHERE: Gottala Jelebellios of TíraFórsae.
WHEN: April 21st 2013 noon to April 25th 11:59 PM.
WARNINGS: Possible violence, gore. Possible sexual situations.
SUMMARY: Off-world adventure on EARTH KLADSUO834LKSFDLKJ8718=LAJD
FORMAT: Whatever.

[Now THIS is the Big Clam of all Gottalas! This is the city-ship that any mothership would be most proud of, this is the peak of the elite fleet. Housing 90,000 classy individuals, Jelebellios is the size of what natives might remember to be land-locked nations.

Everything in Jelebellios is glamorous, everything is about living high and infamously. This is the Gottala that those who MAKE it can upgrade to -- for those of a more middling class, it's an ideal vacation spot. Something to wistfully sigh over, perhaps.

The food is the best here, they have RUNNING FRESH WATER in every room, they have forums with fountains (that often spew champagne) and opera houses with mobile skylight viewing. Jelebellios, in the more prestigious avenues, is literally paved with gold.

But the superficial is invoked into art form here -- and more than that, entertainment is a way of life. Quite literally, the only living on Jelebellios. While mundane trading for FOOD or WATER or BORING CHUNKS OF GOLD might satisfy the plebs that other Gottalas have, if you're a citizen (or guest!) of JELEBELLIOS there's only one tender.

And it's tender as the night.

Because tender refers to physical affection. So if you want food or water or dazzling clothing or anything, you better look your cutest and pucker up.]

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[Oh, my, look at you! Some precious novelty from another dimension -- yes, the Tiriseans are on the up in up in that regard, and a curious mind might wonder how they seem so familiar with the concept of a multiverse. If you ask one, in your rudimentary way, by pointing to yourself, they'll answer:

"Ruo, fwhy’foo’eyew~eaye’barr’feeuh~foo’eeff’eeff~bdubya’foo’barr’gell’ddee. Gvee’eyew’gell’bsea’eaye’dehn’eyew’dess~foo’epee’feeuh’dehn’feeuh’ddee~ftee’baich’feeuh~bem’eyew’gell’ftee’dai’gvee’feeuh’barr’dess’feeuh."

To which you might look bemused, to which they might find endearing. But your novelty will wear thin: better learn the customs quick, especially in terms of how TRADE is done, or you'll be carted off to their prison. If you're affectionate towards your patrons, they'll keep giving you food and pretty clothes and warm shelter.

If you're not, they'll call you aedako.]

[If you're coming from CERB or BURODWHEY or if you were already in JELEBELLIOS, you'll be invited to the Magnanimous Procession going on in the middle of the city. The Queen and her Pristine Consort are engaging in a happy festivity: a titan of a sea creature had been slain by one ambitious oceanight, one of the Queen's favored own, and today they publicly excavate the mile-long, gray beast. There will be tours inside the creature, and you'll find a cavalcade of skeletons, old Gottala pieces long rotted away, and what appears to be someone's dry plaster wall. On the wall lurks graffiti (of course):

BAICH’FEEUH’GELL’EPEE!

DESWIRR!!!!!!

Ddee’foo’gell’gvee’eaye’dehn’dai’eaye...

Ftee’baich’feeuh~ggee’barr’feeuh’feeuh’dehn~bem’feeuh’dehn~gell’dai’feeuh’ddee. Ftee’baich’feeuh’fwhy’~ddee’foo’foo’bem’feeuh’ddee~ftee’baich’dai’dess’~bdubya’foo’gell’ddee~eeff’foo’barr’~eaye~epee’feeuh’barr’eeff’feeuh’bsea’ftee~foo’dehn’feeuh.

Hey look there's the skeleton of a fish eating another fish in here... Have fun with these sea monster guts.]

[If you're coming from WASWER, you're forced to wear a funny hat. If you're coming from DAUMADAAL, you're treated like a living piece of trash. If you're coming from XES THER, then there's a brand new mandatory KISSING TAX. You don't have to kiss a native -- you can kiss your cute friend there! But Tiriseans have to be watching.

They take their laws seriously.

You might hear a rumor catching ground, that Tiriseans are torn on what to think of you newcomers: are you gods, or devils? Are you like the ones before? If you make any inquiries aboard this Gottala, however, they'll shush you and attempt to distract you with flirtation or food.

A few of the nobility might deign to entertain your company, however, if you're charming. They won't tell you anything on these rumors, but they'll pretend they have what you want.]

[Everyone is summoned to the Grand Burlesque Hall! It's not called that officially, though you'd assume as much -- this arena is the equivalent of a quadrupled football stadium, and an imposing stage fills the center of this incredible oval space.

If you're coming from ANY OTHER GOTTALA EXCEPT DAUMADAAL then you're invited. If you're coming from XES THER, then you're a guest of honor, sitting pretty with the Pristine Consort's harem. Any implications are accidental on your part.

It's a very visual production, with captured lightning storms and thunder contained on set. In the middle there's a small, fabricated Gottala with a crew. Descending from the "sky" are actors in the costumed flesh of human beings with... variations. Some have wings. Some throw fire. Some turn into a glowing white light.

These are meant to be "humans" with superpowers.

A booming voice:

Ftee’baich’feeuh’feeuh’dess’feeuh~eaye’barr’feeuh~foo’eyew’barr~eeff’eaye’ftee’baich’feeuh’barr’dess! Ftee’baich’feeuh~ggee’foo’ddee’dess! Ftee’baich’feeuh~bem’feeuh’ftee’eaye’bem’feeuh’dehn!

Then there appears to be an interlude of go-go dancing, including a series of Tirisean men in pink cages floating above the ship, to the music. This might make you feel a little uncomfortable.

Once the go-go dancing has finally stopped, the stage clears. An actor in green make up and pointy ears addresses the audience with gestures.

Sea monsters rise from the staged sea and explode into brilliant bursts of fireworks. The correlation seems somewhat random -- but you suppose that, maybe, there's some untranslatable symbolic meaning to it all.

It's a shame your watch didn't port in with you. Is this over yet?]

[If you're coming from TREIFYU, then you're forced to wear a dangling skirt that makes you look like a jellyfish. If you do this, however, people seem to give you free food. If you're from DAUMADAAL, you've given a shark mask to wear. What's so unique about this? It's literally made of a SHARK'S HEAD. If you're coming from WASWER, then you're given gloves with pinchers on the fingers -- crablike hands, if you will. If you're coming from XES THER, then you're given a threadbare tunic with gelatine octopus tentacles woven into it. If you're coming from CERB and have drug offerings, you're not forced to wear anything humiliating. IF YOU DON'T HAVE OFFERINGS, then you have to dress entirely in seaweed for the entire day. If you're coming from BURODWHEY, then you must be tied to someone, like a barnacle to a whale.

They make it seem like this is some festival. You might think it's just a cruel joke.

You might be right.]

[ Oswald Cobblepot was no stupid man. If anything, he was a very intelligent man, and finding himself somewhere he shouldn't be (with merely his still very well fitted tuxedo) wasn't what he'd imagine he'd be doing for the evening. If anything, he'd had rather important plans that shouldn't have been interrupted.

But, alas, they were, and he was hearing something that sounded more like music than words, and people that he hardly believed were really people.

But he was observant, and the Penguin did not fare too badly in situations where he needed to observe, and then do as others did.

In all actuality, he did rather well at such things, and seeing what there was to offer? Well, he could do that too, and he knew the language of trade, and could recognize the sort of thing soon enough. Within a few hours, actually. ]

One moment, anticipating. His fingers flexing, about to delve into his salmon (and martini) luncheon, his mind racing on proposals and counterarguments for the sake of his newborn legislation (it came a bit premature, the poor dear, but Eddie would force it into life). One moment, enjoying.

The next, soaking. On his hands and knees in a fountain of flowing champagne.

The alcohol draped over him and his shoulders, a spontaneous lover.

Edward Nygma looked up, the horror flushing over his face through tawny-tinted liquid. His lower lip dangled, like a man hanging onto a skyscraper ledge, and his eyes swelled with quiet panic.

This was not the City.

This was like no world he had known.

Buildings tall like marbled clouds soared over his gilded fountain, strange pink gulls swooped in and out and around pristine white arches. There were homes like cathedrals. There were people with much too long limbs and nautical smiles.

"How could you do this to me?" A rhetorical question posed to a mechanical mistress who wouldn't hear him. How could she do this to him?

He had a deadline.

Edited 2013-04-22 03:18 (UTC)

[ Although he isn't particularly enjoying this show, Electro wishes he'd been on whatever this place was days ago. The energy was more uplifting, far preferable to indulge in in the days following his birthday. He's got a small stash of goods in his lap that he's acquired by crafty means. Kissing is easy. ]

She hadn't been there long, of course, but it didn't take long to recognize that wherever this place was, it was somewhere with both esteem and influence. She spent some time seeing, mystified and quite enamored with the golden streets, though the patrons (residents?) got on her nerves rather quickly.

That was, until one brought her a soft, silky white coat after she'd blown them a kiss to send them off on their way, and she could never begrudge a gift.

She settled by the fountain, resting her feet. If that was all it took around here, Felicia thought she might do well, indeed.

[Before the show happens Kenzi is enjoying the whole guest of honor deal. She kind of likes this place, in comparison to where she started it's a vast improvement. Kissing in exchange for items is easy. She was able to get a new outfit with ease, it wasn't quite to her liking but it was leagues better than that hideous jumpsuit she'd been given on the previous gottala. The food and drink was also leaps and bounds better here than there.

By the time the show rolls around Kenzi is stuffed and well on her way to drunk. She couldn't be happier. She's managed to pick up on some of the language but attempting to speak it in her current state might be a bit of a mistake. She'd asked a simple question only moments ago and nearly got a tongue down her throat and some groping. Which is entirely embarrassing in public.

As for the show itself? She's not really paying attention to it, she's more inclined to indulge in chatter or whatever else with those around her.]

One minute, Kang was on the job site at work, finishing up putting a load-bearing beam in place. The next, he was standing in front of a fountain that smelled distinctly like an alcoholic beverage of some sort, in an entirely different city. He gaped at his surroundings for a moment, confused, and instinctively put a hand to his belt to find that he had nothing he could use as a weapon if he needed to.

He also noticed a man he recognized from the City in the fountain itself.

"What the hell is going on?"

So. This means they hate us and are gonna feed us to exploding sea elves, right.

[Despite the horribleness of the play, she actually sounds close to neutral. To be fair, it's hard for her to be totally upset at everything now that she's on a ship where she doesn't have to talk like the Cat in the Hat. And has her boyfriend back, aka her current human pillow for this...thing.

Why didn't she pocket any drugs.]

Kang had learned pretty quickly how the trade system in Jelebellios worked despite the language barrier, and he hated it. He hated it so much that so far, he hadn't eaten or drunk anything for several hours and he was content to wait as long as he possibly could.

He was starting to get a little bit of negative attention from the locals, though, and he'd passed someone that had muttered "aedako" in an unkind tone upon seeing him very uncomfortably turn down an offer (a kiss) for a drink.

[Kang had never been more glad to see Kenzi in his life than he was earlier that day, when he'd found her in Jelebellios. Kissing others is easy for Kenzi to do, but for him, even hugging strangers is not something he's comfortable with. The first two days he's managed to get by with allowing a few of said awkward hugs and even for a handful of locals to give him a kiss on the cheek. He'd been on Xes Ther the day before and eaten quite well, thankfully; back on this ship, though, his stomach is growling again.

He doesn't want to just ask Kenzi to help get him something to eat, so he sits behind her in the Hall, trying to figure out what the hell is going on in the show.]

[Kenzi's more than happy to see a familiar face, she hasn't seen many (if any) since her arrival on Daumadaal.

It's a good thing Kenzi is fairly observant, she's noticed Kang hasn't really eaten so the moment she gets a chances she pushes some of her food toward him.]

Really outta your element here, huh?

[ He thought it was a good idea to get away from Cerb. After all, he could barely think of anything on Cerb with all the drugs they kept pressing on him--drugs that normally shouldn't have even affected him, but his powers seem to have gone off-kilter here. They're not gone, but they aren't responding to him the way he's used to either.

Archer isn't so sure anymore that coming to this place was a good idea. He's already kissed three inquisitive Tiriseans so that Rin didn't have to for her food, and he's not entirely sure Rin's happy that he made that choice for her. So now he's paid another kiss (this one a little too lingering for his tastes, not that he liked the other ones either) in order to get a tour inside the dead sea monster, hoping that'll get him away from these sex-crazed bastards long enough to think and start figuring out their language.

So now he can be found a little off the path of the tour, lingering by that one graffitoed wall, one hand tracing over it, his mouth occasionally moving slightly, as he tries to put together these words with the ones he's heard and pull some sense out of all of them. ]

That's an understatement.

[Kang gratefully takes the food, making a mental note to buy her some really expensive alcohol when they get back to the City. The go-go dancing is almost done, thankfully.]

[ And nobody should be surprised one of the City's least physically affectionate is refusing to tend to his caterers with any sort of kissing or touching. He raises his hands and shakes his heads, trying to explain he doesn't need anything. ] No... I'm fine... Thank you, though?

[ The patrons are hardly pleased by his refusal and they exchange looks before hissing aedako! at him. ]

A -- what? I'm sorry?

[ He's still a little twitchy from the past three days, but he's managing to power through it. The fancy food they've been sharing seems to have helped a little. ]

I think so. Is that an alien? [ He points to the one in the green makeup. ] I was paying more attention to those dancers. They're sorta distracting.

[ Well, this is weird. But really, when you've been jolted two thousand years into the future, and then thirteen more years into the future and into an alternate dimension, and then barely three weeks later into another alternate dimension... well, really, you sort of just learn to go with the flow.

At least these people are nice. And they have their share of beautiful women, who all seem really welcoming, so Biff? Biff has no problems with this. None of it. He can be found comfortably chatting up the locals (what linguistic challenges? Gift of Tongues, baby), uncomfortably turning away a man here and there, and lavishing affection on anyone of the fairer gender.

Really, he's either going to end up the richest guy on this boat, or inundate all women with his attention to the point that they're sick of him. It could go either way. ]

I'm never going back to New York. [ An idle comment, met with a "Bdubya'baich'eaye'ftee?" from his current lady companion, to which he tosses out a breezy: ] Foo'baich, dehn'foo'ftee'baich'dai'dehn'ggee.

Someone is a fast learner, here. (It comes with the territory of making three world-hops in about two months.) He's gained his feet pretty fast, asked a few questions of the weird-but-charming locals, and is generally okay with this. This leaves him free to mock any fellow transplants (of which it's pretty novel to have, this time around), and that is exactly what he intends to do in the near future.

In fact, there's a likely target now.

He's standing, dry and pleased, just outside the fountain, grinning. What a welcome sight, this deputy mayor.

"Fwhy'foo'eyew~gell'foo'foo'ekay~gell'dai'ekay'feeuh~dess'baich'dai'ftee," he says, winningly. Just because he can.

[ Archer has some company. Biff doesn't exactly look like one of the locals (you just can't capture the air of a lifetime of class, even if they have gifted you with nice things to wear) as he stands off to the side, eyes tracing over the same walls — but with a lot less difficulty. ]

That one's not very interesting.

Hey! Translator boy!

[Nanaja is sauntering toward him with one part adoring fans clinging to her and two parts grumbling scorned traders following a safe distance behind her. If Nanaja is good at only two things in life, then it's violence and sex, and she's putting both to good use here. The more attractive Jelebelliosians of both genders are welcomed, but the less so are smacked away with her tail.]

What the fuck is this shit they keep saying?

[ Biff takes a good moment just to appreciate how much more terrifying/attractive the creepy demon lady is in person, then offers a smile, and points to one of her hanger-ons. ]

That guy wants you to do unspeakable things to him with your tail.

[ It could be true. There's no telling for sure from this here-to-be-helpful smile. ]

[ Oh, it's that guy from Biblical times who was kind of hitting on Rin in her last post. (Archer has a very specific memory sometimes.) ]

So your gift of tongues is working fine here.

[ He frowns a little, then...well, all right. He'll admit to needing help. ]

What does it say?

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THE GOTTALA JELEBELLIOS

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DAY 3

DAY 4

DAY 5

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