THE GOTTALA JELEBELLIOS

[capemods]

WHO: ImPorts.
WHERE: Gottala Jelebellios of TíraFórsae.
WHEN: April 21st 2013 noon to April 25th 11:59 PM.
WARNINGS: Possible violence, gore. Possible sexual situations.
SUMMARY: Off-world adventure on EARTH KLADSUO834LKSFDLKJ8718=LAJD
FORMAT: Whatever.



[Now THIS is the Big Clam of all Gottalas! This is the city-ship that any mothership would be most proud of, this is the peak of the elite fleet. Housing 90,000 classy individuals, Jelebellios is the size of what natives might remember to be land-locked nations.

Everything in Jelebellios is glamorous, everything is about living high and infamously. This is the Gottala that those who MAKE it can upgrade to -- for those of a more middling class, it's an ideal vacation spot. Something to wistfully sigh over, perhaps.

The food is the best here, they have RUNNING FRESH WATER in every room, they have forums with fountains (that often spew champagne) and opera houses with mobile skylight viewing. Jelebellios, in the more prestigious avenues, is literally paved with gold.

But the superficial is invoked into art form here -- and more than that, entertainment is a way of life. Quite literally, the only living on Jelebellios. While mundane trading for FOOD or WATER or BORING CHUNKS OF GOLD might satisfy the plebs that other Gottalas have, if you're a citizen (or guest!) of JELEBELLIOS there's only one tender.

And it's tender as the night.

Because tender refers to physical affection. So if you want food or water or dazzling clothing or anything, you better look your cutest and pucker up.]

Comments

[swordedpast]

[ Oh, it's that guy from Biblical times who was kind of hitting on Rin in her last post. (Archer has a very specific memory sometimes.) ]

So your gift of tongues is working fine here.

[ He frowns a little, then...well, all right. He'll admit to needing help. ]

What does it say?

[idkmybffjesus]

Yeah, my tongue is doing pretty well here, actually. It's a friendly place. [ But anyway... ] This one just says "Dolvania". That's not even a word, where do these people get off writing gibberish on perfectly good walls inside giant fish?

[swordedpast]

What?

[ OOPS apparently that means something to Archer! ]

Jeez, you should've learned something about the last world you wound up in. Dolvania is the name of some country there. They're one of the ones who support Vulcanus, but you don't know much about them either, I imagine.

[idkmybffjesus]

[ Oh. He frowns a little, scouring his memory for anything about Dolvania... Nope, nothing coming up. ]

Not really. I never even heard of Vulcanus before I got here. [ It's a word he's heard whispered once or twice in that musical lanuage -- he'd assumed it was someone or something here. ] Who are they supposed to be?

[swordedpast]

[ Siiiiigh. ]

I'd ask if you're really up to hearing all this inside the guts of a sea monster, but there aren't many better alternatives here. At least nobody will ask us to kiss here.

[ He hopes. ]

[idkmybffjesus]

[ The important question is does he have the patience to listen to whatever long story this sounds like it will be? He looks a little doubtful. ]

Hey, if you'd prefer telling a story about Dolvania inside the guts of a sea monster to being out there kissing people, then go ahead. I can spare a little time. [ For a madman, goes unsaid. ]

[swordedpast]

[ Yeah, Biff gets a skeptical look at that. But whatever. ]

Hmph. I'll give you the short version.

Vulcanus is an organization that's been around back in that world for at least two years, and public for almost as long. They've been turning public opinion against us imPorts that whole time...but it's not as if they haven't done worse. They've kidnapped imPorts, enlisted the help of aliens called 'Skrulls' to spy on and attack us, and dogged our steps to try to prove what evil we are at every opportunity.

Several countries passed an 'ImBargo Act' last August to keep imPorts out, and they've been seen as supporters of Vulcanus since. Dolvania was one of them.

[idkmybffjesus]

[ Well, that could have been worse. Or longer, at least. He considers it, then frowns. It's probably not much of a good sign that people here are talking about -- or writing about, at least -- an organization that bears imPorts no love. ]

Dolvania is back where we came from, right? So what's it doing here?

[swordedpast]

That's the question, isn't it? Vulcanus must have been here, and their involvement with Dolvania must go deeper than we realized. But that's all I can say for now.

[idkmybffjesus]

Uh huh.

[ He'd really like to go back outside to the rest of the sexyboat now, please. But, with a sigh, he starts in a stroll down the rest of the wall. ]

So maybe the rest of this will make more sense to you than me, too.

[swordedpast]

[ Alas, Archer doesn't seem to care one bit what Biff would really like. He regards him intently. ]

Tell me. I can only make out a little bit of it.

[idkmybffjesus]

[ He stops, pointing to one colorful scrawl. Very matter-of-factly: ] That one says "fuck".

[ Annndddd moving on, he frowns at the next message coming up. ]

This one's sort of weird. I keep hearing about a drug-boat, I bet it came from there.

[swordedpast]

...I thought it might be some kind of expletive. Thanks for supplying the specifics.

[ His voice is dry. ]

I was on that ship. I didn't see any messages like this.

[ Pause. ]

...I think.

[idkmybffjesus]

Really, you were? [ no wait biff keep focused. ask about drug trips later. He shakes his head, glances back at the wall, and clears his throat. ]

'The green men lied. They doomed this world for a perfect one.'

[ aaannndd a shrug. That's all he's got for it. ]

[swordedpast]

[ So much for drug trips: Archer gets a really serious look on his face at that. ]

Then I really have been hearing them say 'Skrull.' They must be the 'green men.'

[ By way of explanation: ]

We were transported to another world before, a couple months ago, and these Skrull aliens were there, working as agents of Vulcanus. One of them spoke of reaching Vulcanus's 'perfect world.' Hmph, their plans continue apace.

[idkmybffjesus]

[ Biff's still for a few seconds, looking thoughtful. He doesn't know anything about Vulcanus, and even less about Skrulls, but it's starting to look like he's going to have to learn.

A few seconds later, he turns on his heel to start back for the exit. ]

Well, if this world is doomed, then it's our responsibility to enjoy it while we can.

[swordedpast]

[ With a last, considering glance at the fragment of wall with its graffiti, Archer turns to follow Biff. Lacking anything better to do, of course. ]

Is that so? What is there to enjoy?

[idkmybffjesus]

[ That earns him an unmistakable "what, are you crazy?" look, cast back over his shoulder. ]

Were we just on the same boat out there?

[swordedpast]

Naturally. They don't have much concept of personal space.

[idkmybffjesus]

Yeah, I'm pretty happy to give up a little personal space in exchange for beautiful women wanting to kiss me. I mean, I'm just saying. It's not much of a chore.

[swordedpast]

I should have guessed as much, from your conversation with Rin Tohsaka on the network.

[ Why yes, he did spy on the two of them speaking of laying hands on butts. ]

[idkmybffjesus]

[ He considers that thoughtfully for a few seconds, then delivers a blank look over. ]

Who?

[swordedpast]

Do you forget every young woman you offer your behind to? I see, you're that kind of guy.

[idkmybffjesus]

Wait, what about... [ pause... ] Oh, wait, her? Yeah, I remember her.

[swordedpast]

Naturally you do. She's not forgettable.

Incidentally, if you allow her to touch your rear, you'll regret it.