i must have left a thousand times

[gevurah]

WHO: HELENA and KATE
WHERE: Helena's home.
WHEN: after this.
WARNINGS: angst, most likely.
SUMMARY: sadness...
FORMAT: quick to start.


[ True to her word, Kate hadn't dawdled on her way over to Helena's. Damian was gone and it sparked worry as usual; the last time he disappeared he wound up --

Well, it was best not to think about that right now. Not when Helena herself is a trained detective and could read Kate's body language if she focused on it too much.

Parking is never easy to find in this city, but she manages to slip into a small spot and she moves quickly toward Helena's place and rings the doorbell. She takes a deep breath, preparing herself for what is probably going to be a long night and talk.

These things are never easy. ]

Comments

[amiga]

[It's a long moment before Helena relaxes against Kate. Maybe too long, she'll realize, when she thinks about it later.]

It wasn't like this when my father left. Or my mother.

[Or Dick. Nothing had hurt her quite like this and she wasn't at all sure why.]

[gevurah]

[ "Really?" is on the tip of her tongue. However, Kate holds back from what's not a good question. She doesn't want to rile up Helena's defenses and make her feel as if she's been shamed for not having the same reaction when Bruce and Selina left. ]

You got to know Damian here, didn't you?

[amiga]

Yes. [She fidgets, dragging her gaze from an uninteresting spot on the floor to fix on Kate's knee. It seems a better place to look.] We were really getting close recently.

[gevurah]

It's never easy, even knowing they're finally getting to go back home. [ And she knows this isn't an option for Helena. It wasn't one for Vic either. ] He'll be alright, though; he's a tough kid.

[amiga]

You're right. [She knows Kate is, but it's hard to even speak it right now.] I should contact Jason. But I don't want him to gloat.

[gevurah]

Gloat? [ She can't help but make an unimpressed look. ] There's nothing to gloat about.

[amiga]

It's Jason. [She sighs. She loves her brothers, all of them, but they're not always decent with each other.]

[gevurah]

I'd say let him find out on his own, then. [ Maybe that was too cruel. Kate's always been a family first kind of woman, but all the ensuing drama caught up with them and she blames her father for most of it. ]

... You can tell him later. I don't think it's worth dealing with right now. [ She corrects herself. ]

[amiga]

[Hel nods, settling up against Kate. When she breathes in, her body shakes a little.]

I'm so sorry to dump all of this on you.

[gevurah]

Hey. [ Her hand slips under Helena's chin to gently lift it and look her in the eye. ] Don't be. This is what I'm here for.

[amiga]

[She stares into Kate's eyes, blinking back the emotions that are threatening to bubble up. Finally, she manages a smile.]

Thank you. It's hard for me to be like this. I... I've always depended on other people to get me through things like this, and I feel so weak and useless. I'm an adult and I can't even process my own feelings.

[gevurah]

Nobody would blame you.

It's just... you want to be happy they're back where they belong, but then you feel lonely. [ Kate's lost a lot of people over the year. She's more than thankful for Helena to anchor her down. If she had been ported out she's certain she would lose it for a time. ] It also takes time, babe.

[amiga]

[Time is something that Helena treasures. Everyday is a gift to her and she almost can't stand the thought of wasting a single day grieving-- which is of course at odds with her present emotional state.]

I'm glad he's home. He's got Dick there, he's got his whole life there waiting for him. He and I never should have had any of the time that we did. I suppose perhaps that's what makes it all hurt so much.

[gevurah]

[ She nods, a lot more understanding now. ]

For all you know, he could come back.

[amiga]

Yeah. [She thinks about Dick, about how much it hurt when he came back and couldn't recall her. But she pushes that aside.] I'm glad you're here, Kate. I needed this.

[gevurah]

[ Kate smiles and leans her figure against Helena's now, lending as much warmth as she can to the other woman. She tilts her head to plant a kiss on Helena's upper lip. ]

We'll get through this, Hel. You will.