(no subject)

[motherfucked]

WHO: Jessica Jones & You
WHERE: At various stores throughout the City.
WHEN: Week of 8/26— but feel free to backdate a little if you want to fudge for modplot.
WARNINGS: Jessica Jones
SUMMARY: Shopping! When shopping goes wrong.
FORMAT: Tagger's choice.

ONE.
It's just an ordinary day at the grocery store. Really. Jess spends most of her time in the frozen food aisle, buying a lot of those lasagnas for one. And then she feels bad about buying a whole basketful of frozen lasagna, so she looks for an orange or something to round it out. Jessica Jones does not know what quinoa is. Seriously, what the fuck is quinoa?

When she passes by Cosmo on the magazine stand, she says "fuck you." She doesn't mean to say it aloud aloud, but it happens like that anyway. And fuck Cosmo.


TWO.
It's an ordinary day and Jessica Jones is here to buy some cigarettes. She wonders if they will card her. She doesn't think she looks eighteen anymore, but sometimes they card anyone who isn't wearing makeup.

That's when a guy comes in wearing an honest-to-god bandana mask, and points a gun at the poor cashier lady. It seems like it happens all at once, even though nothing really does. Jess freezes— she's standing behind a candy rack. Shit shit shit shit. What is she going to do?

Comments

2

[glassbox]

[ lil crawley is out in sweatpants and a sweater -- because she's going through a midlife crisis, and that's her excuse for not always needing to look pretty or dressed up. besides, her husband's in an entirely different dimension now -- not that he'd been that interested in her anymore anyway -- so there's really no point. besides, she's only out for some essentials, milk and such, so it should be uneventful.

except when it's not.

it's a lucky thing she's never been afraid of guns. you don't have to be, when you're invulnerable. it still stings when the guy gets a shot off a her -- she's not immune to pain -- but it glances right off, and then she's got him, socking him in the gut quick before shoving him down to the ground and pinning him with his face against the floor. ]

Bastard. That hurt.

[motherfucked]

Jesus. Jesus.

[ Jessica Jones is repeating herself, but she's getting ready to throw a candy bar at the guy anyway. Super threatening, right? But she has super powers, so…

Except by the time she's grabbed the candy bar off the shelf the guy is splayed on the ground and really not getting up again.

She still throws it, though, bonking him in the head. ]

And stay down, you fucker.

[glassbox]

[ lil isn't even sure what it is exactly that hits the guy in the head at first -- is that a candy bar? where the hell did it come from even? she glances up, eyebrows pinched, probably about to say something bitchy like "who the hell throws a candy bar at an armed robber?" but oh --

she knows that person. ]

Jess?

[ with her height, at least, it's easy to keep the guy pinned under her even when she's distracted like this. ]

[motherfucked]

Uh, hi.

[ Have a sheepish, slouchy wave. ]

[glassbox]

[ a little sigh. then, mildly: ]

Hon, what're you doin' throwin' candy around? Don't y'got superpowers?

[ the would-be robber struggles, making a muffled noise, and lil casually pushes his face harder against the ground. ]

[motherfucked]

Well, yeah.

[ Standing there, awkward. ]

But not like, super speed. Or… throwing powers.

[glassbox]

[ more muffled noises from the robber, which lil continues to ignore. ]

Yeah? S'pose I never did ask what y'can do. It ain't somethin' weird, is it?

[motherfucked]

[ Looking offended. ] No. No.

[ Then thinking a bit better of it. ] Just the basics, really. But I never… [ This is embarrassing. ] I never really learned how to fight.

I could have taken that guy, though.

[glassbox]

Oh.

[ lil pauses, glancing down at the criminal pinned under her then back up at jess. ]

Well, sure. He ain't so tough, but. Y'never learned how t'fight? Don't y'think that's a little dangerous when you're goin' around throwing candy at bad guys?

[motherfucked]

It wasn't really a "thinky" thing.

[ She looks at the guy now, too. He doesn't look too comfortable. ]

[glassbox]

[ a little sigh ]

What am I gonna do with you, Jess?

[ finally, she gets up off the poor guy, hauling him to his feet by the arms -- probably not too comfortable still, considering the angle she grabs them by, but it keeps him from struggling too much while she hands him off the rent-a-cop-esque security guard that, at the very least, has some cuffs on him. ]

Kinda spoils the mood for grocery shoppin', don't it.

[motherfucked]

You think I should call the cops? I bet the cashier guy already did, huh.

[ Jess doesn't really like cops, because they're always suspicious of both P.I.s and people with superpowers. ]

[glassbox]

[ oh, right. the cops. lil doesn't particularly care for them either. guess that comes with serving prison time, but still. ]

Probably.

[ a beat ]

I ain't gonna get shit for like, assaultin' the bastard or somethin', am I?

[motherfucked]

Nah. There were witnesses. [ She nods, to reassure yourself. ] I'll back you up.

[glassbox]

That's what friends are for, I guess.

[ absently, she folds her arms over her chest, tapping her fingers idly against her own arm. ]

Can't even remember what the hell I meant t'get here. Y'think we gotta stick around t'make statements or somethin'?

[motherfucked]

We can leave.

[ She looks around, happy to ditch. ]

But I have to buy my cigarettes first.

[ The cashier is not really in a position to argue, and everyone else in line has kind of dispersed. ]

1 - whenever, yo

[incywincyhero]

After a few too many frozen pizzas, Peter's feeling like he needs a change, but his lack of culinary ambition is foiled (har de har) by an empty shelf where the lasagna should be. Maybe there's a shortage, but at this time of day it's more likely some schmuck's taken the lot, leaving him debating whether he should pick up a chicken at the rotisserie or default to Chinese.

Peter's no stranger to being cussed out, in spandex or out of it, but even in New York there's usually a little more provocation required than just walking down the aisle. "Seriously? Back atcha, lady -- oh. Hi, Jessica."

[motherfucked]

Does Jessica feel like apologizing? Nope. In fact, she's going to talk over this guy, like you do.

"I wasn't talking to you, du—" Wait, back up, there's a deja-vu thing going on in the voice.

"Uh, hi Peter." She liked Peter, even if she didn't like like him anymore. But some part of her thought, right then, that it was maybe better for high school things to stay there. It was still a shocking thing to remember sometimes, that she was not the only one who grew up, moved on. Other people kept moving too.

"Sorry," she added, sheepishly.

[incywincyhero]

Peter, if asked, would have a hard time relating. It wasn't that he wouldn't understand his point, but so many people he knew from his high school years were still in touch (or would be, in the right universe) -- were in fact better friends now than they ever were in his "Puny Parker" days.

Well, that and he barely remembered "Coma Girl" at all. To him, Jessica Jones was Luke Cage's wife. Not-wife. Pre-wife? In any case, it was a weird situation for him, too, but a different kind of weird.

Right then, it was mostly amusing.

"Bad day at work?"

[motherfucked]

"No, uh, no. Work's fine." Work was shitty, but it was always shitty, and she still had some voice in the back of her head that wanted to impress Peter. Or at least, not seem like a total failure.

"It's— you know what, you're a guy, you don't have to put up with this." She looks at the offending magazine.

[incywincyhero]

"Oh," he said, with a sympathetic grimace. "Yeah, MJ used to love ripping those apart." Used to? Still did, somewhere else. It was uncomfortable, that speaking of her in the past tense had become so comfortable. Casting about for a distraction, his eyes land on her shopping basket. "I knew someone had taken them all!"