capeandcowllogs | (no subject)

[He does briefly glance back up when Dick takes a step closer and then stops himself but drops his gaze just as quickly again.

It was a guy who had managed to kill or maim three Bats because he had let him get away. The guilt of that doesn't show on his face but there's a certain tension in his shoulders like he's trying to keep himself from hunching.]

I'm not. Heroes aren't supposed to get scared and run away. [Flash wouldn't. Although he has no idea how he could have stopped the Joker-wannabe either but...]

If I can run back and forth in time and save an entire planet from an alternate universe, I can stop one guy.

[Dick has no answer to that, because he gets how Wally is feeling and he also understands that Wally can't be the only one blaming himself. He know Bruce must be, and Tim, too. Tim probably blames himself for everything that happened including being tortured which is really ridiculous but... it's nearly normal. It was expected.

Wally blaming himself, however, wasn't something Dick thought would happen. He doesn't have that screwed up batlogic that makes him brood in a corner and think about everything that he could have changed or done better.

Clearly, that doesn't stop him from thinking about it anyway.]

Was it the first time you got hurt? It takes a ton of training and practice to be able to think through difficult situations and staying and fighting... it's not always the best solution.

It doesn't make you a coward to run away, y'know. If you were freaking out, it couldn't have helped with... just thinking about what to do. I don't think you could have stopped me. Him. [It had taken more than one try for Batman to, after all.] And it's better that you got away to warn people than stayed and gotten killed.

[Wally isn't one to brood away in the corner but he does blame himself for some things, or think that he could have done better. He just doesn't let it get to him. Thinking endlessly about it isn't going to help, he knows this. What happened, happened and can't be changed. Wally can deal with that and move on.

Sometimes the feelings just linger a little while.

He hesitates but nods at the question about getting hurt. It was his first time getting seriously hurt like that but that doesn't mean it can be used as an excuse. He's not like everyone else. Not anymore. He's stronger. Or supposed to be anyway.

No matter what Dick says running still feels cowardly even though running is all he's really good for.]

Still. [He shrugs nonchalantly and that's all he has to say about that.] Anyway, this isn't about me.

No. [He's suddenly way more decisive now than he was a little earlier. He doesn't want Wally to feel that way and he's going to work on this until he doesn't. He's not letting Wally dismiss this issue so fast.]

Not 'still' and no to everything else. This wasn't your fault, and I don't care what you're thinking but I totally forbid you to think any of this was your fault. Ever. [Yup, this is totally lacking arguments. But he believes it very hard, and therefore it's true and that's that.]

I know there's nothing I can say that'll just make you change your mind so I'm going to repeat myself until I brainwash you into agreeing with me. This wasn't your fault.

[Wally finally meets Dick's eyes and cocks his head to the side, his lip curling a little into a grin though it's lacking humour. There is a vague air of amusement about him but it's mostly sadness.]

Hypocrite. [He snorts.]

Maybe now you understand how I'm feeling. [He sure hopes Dick does. At least he did something which deserves some blame and Wally can completely accept that but Dick hasn't done anything wrong. That's what he himself vehemently believes.]

[Dick doesn't agree that this is the same thing. It's vastly different -- Wally hasn't spent ten days recently stabbing and killing people -- but he also sees the similarities and he doesn't want to keep talking about this.]

You'll have to keep repeating yourself until I'm brainwashed, too.

[Repeating this over and over again won't make him feel okay about working with the Titans again. Not now. And he knows that they probably won't ever understand what he's thinking and how he's feeling, but Dick hopes he'll get used to the situation and -- yes, eventually come back to the team, maybe. If he waits for them to understand, he'll never do so, so he'll just make sure he feels comfortable about no one getting it. Basically.

This train of thoughts makes Dick feel cheap and he smiles sheepishly at Wally. It's not a happy smile, but it's a smile?] I'm sorry.

[That earns Dick a smile, warm and genuine, in return and he brushes his hand against Dick's in a very small comforting and cautious gesture. It would be a friendly punch in the shoulder but he's still not certain where they stand so that will have to do.] Forgiven.

[More light-hearted now, he hums and ponders on what Dick said before apologizing.]

I'm pretty sure I could find an easier way to brainwash you than repeating myself over and over again.

[Answering 'forgiven' instead of 'don't be sorry' or anything similar to that second option was the right thing to do. If Dick feels sorry, he feels sorry, and no one else should tell him what to feel.

Telling him he's forgiven, just like that, easy and sincere... it means a lot. It makes Dick feel a whole lot better. Sure, he's still feeling kind of terrible, overall, but not as much.

He glances at Wally's hand when it brushes his and returns the gesture, moving his fingers against Wally's instead of tensing up or pulling his hand back. It's his way of saying that he's okay with this but don't push more than that.]

Actual brainwash is really creepy and wrong, though. So you're not allowed to get magic or mental powers mixed in here.

[That Dick accepts the gesture comes as a great relief and it's comforting for Wally too. Most of the tension in his shoulders is gone now and he's lighter now, more like his usual self. Nothing forced.

Especially when he wags his finger at Dick, eyes sparkling mischievously as he grins.]

Oh no, I was more thinking of getting like a book on hypnosis. No magic or mental powers, where's the fun in that?

[He's obviously kidding but that does remind him to go check out the library sometime.]

[The smile's a bit more sincere when he raises a hand to smack Wally's finger and get a hold of in at the same time.]

Hah. Hypnosis is something bats are supposed to learn about at some point, like meditation. But I never really got into it.

[He smirks, slow and lazy, not at all like his usual smirk.] You could ask Tim to help you out with it. I'm sure he knows plenty and that he'd go along if he knew why you wanted to learn about this.

[Wally allows Dick to grab a hold of his finger simply because he's curious to see what Dick's intention is.]

Meditation. [He makes a disapproving face.] I don't blame you.

[He's glad he got Dick smiling and smirking again. That makes his visit somewhat of a success at least.] Huh, you're right. He probably would. You do realize you're aiding me in my quest to brainwash you, right?

[Dick has no intentions with this finger. It was just wagging to he grabbed it and now it's not wagging anymore. Yep.

He actually lets it go when Wally's done talking to rub the back of his neck, looking away.]

Ah... I'm not sure brainwashing me would be a bad idea.

[He'd like to change everything so nothing ever happened, which isn't possible, so forgetting doesn't look unappealing.

It's not the right thing to do and it wouldn't last -- there are proofs of everything that happened everywhere on the board, and on several security cameras in the Cave and elsewhere -- but. Still.

Miracle thinking?]

[When his finger is free, Wally taps his chin with it thoughtfully. Dick does have a point.]

I think everyone could use a little brainwashing for the last fifteen days.

[He smiles sheepishly. It wouldn't be bad for people to forget and stop feeling guilty over everything. Things could go back to normal.]

Maybe I should try to do this thing large-scale.

Hmm. I think we're supposed to consider the experience and try and learn from it and all that.

[He's starting to feel happy that Wally barged in on him, which means something. He hasn't been wanting much company recently, but Wally still makes him feel more at ease than he is with anyone else.]

Whatever, it's not gonna happen. [Pause]

So. Since you're here, do you want a tour of he place? Spoiler: it's not very impressive.

[Wally tries to consider what he's learned from the experience but all he can think of is that 'stab wounds hurt' and he's pretty sure that wouldn't come out nearly as funny as it sounds in his head so he refrains from commenting on that.]

Well hey, should I ever feel inclined to hop over to the villainy side of things, mass-hypnotism might be my calling.

[That Dick's offering to give him a tour means he wants Wally around and that cheers him up considerably. He nods eagerly.]

Sure! And just getting an apartment by yourself at your age is impressive enough by itself. It's something I could only dream of.

[It would have been a terrible thing to say, yes :|]

And you still want me to go back to the Tower, uh? I'm taking a step in the world, here. [It's meant to be a joke, but anything they're likely to say on the topic will seem too serious and be awkward.]

Anyway, you're in the living room. I guess. [It's not exactly big enough to be a living room and it's attached to the kitchen/dining room, but it's where there's a couch and a TV, so 'living room' applies.]

If you take three steps forward you're gonna hit what's supposedly the dining room and another step's the kitchen.

And uh, that door's the bathroom, that one's my room. [It's just small and all in one bunch and the tour could be made entirely without moving at all. Dick takes the few steps to reach his room and he opens the door. It's neither small or big, and doesn't have any decoration at all, yet, which makes it very much boring. Except for the VERY SUBTLE Robin suit that's lying next to the bed.]

[Yes, he still very much wants you to come home Dick but he won't say so because indeed the conversation would get way too serious and awkward.]

The Tower doesn't have people that get on your case 24/7, it's bearable. Better than living with my parents anyway, trust me. Back home I would've given anything for a place like this or to move in with Aunt Iris and Barry.

[He checks out the places Dick points out and probably could have checked the entire place out in a millisecond but he's being patient and letting Dick give him the tour.

He ducks into Dick's room hoping to see something but is sorely disappointed and for that Dick gets a pointedly raised eyebrow.]

[Dick can read Wally's expression very well and he mirrors it, folding his arms on his chest.]

What? I've been here for a couple of days, of course it's empty. [And the only reason he has the bed and dresser he does is because of Bruce, even.

He walks in and flops on the bed.] The mattress' super comfy though. It's one of those form fits ones. It probably cost a lot but whatever, it's Bruce's way to crawl into my life even when I'm not his partner.

[Will take that statement of the mattress being comfortable as an invitation to sit down on the bed and poke it a bit.]

Batman gave you all of this?

[Somehow this is amusing to him.]

[It totally was, no problem. Dick nods and makes a bit of a face.]

Yeah, I came to the apartment a few days ago and there he was with movers and about 90% of the furniture in the place even though I'd never given him my address.

[He's not frustrated that Bruce found it anyway -- this is Batman, here, of course he'd find it easily -- but the fact he'd walked into Dick's newish life even before Dick had told him where he lived was intrusive and annoying.]

I never gave my address to anyone, just saying. I didn't decide I'd keep it from you but tell Tim or whatever. Tim knowing it is just him being a good stalker. [Beat.] Well I'm guessing Tim knows and he's the one who told you, but if he doesn't and you poked at Bruce for that info I'm impressed.

Edited 2010-03-15 14:44 (UTC)

[Don't mind if he bounces for a little bit here as well, he's just testing the bed. It is very comfortable.

He frowns but he's still somewhat amused.]

That's kind of...creepy.

[But this is Batman they're talking about and Batman is weird like that. He shouldn't be that surprised. He'd come barging into their cave back home too after all.]

Well, he would have been my next target but Tim knew so. [Shrug.]

It's completely creepy but also so very not surprising of him. [And the creepiest part was probably how he was being all Brucie for the movers when he walked onto them. Christ, Dick hates this persona of him.

Dick makes a small hum sound when Wally tells him about Tim, which is confirming what he thought.]

So you'd have gone to Batman? Really? All that to bring me a drawing I'd forgotten. [And that is still on the couch and... Dick might just keep it. But for Wally, not for what it represents.]

Yeah, sure. I mean, he's kind of intimidating but it's not like back home where I guess I didn't leave the best of first impressions. I don't think he liked us much but it's different here.

[It would be a little scary to go face Batman and Wally probably would have dragged someone along with him but he's not going to admit that out loud.

He really would have done it but luckily Tim knew. That was a great relief.]

[Hmm, have another little smile that's overall genuine.]

I have no idea how much he likes you at all. I think he's glad you're my friends 'cause, let's face it, you're a bunch of dogooders and none of you's gonna pull me down some dark path or whatever.

[Dick can do that on his own. Let's not add this part.]

[He feels so accomplished getting all these little smiles from Dick.]

Hah, true. Though you never know. I could be planning something nefarious and just biding my time. [He waggles his eyebrows.

Only everybody knows he probably couldn't be evil even if he tried. He has too much of a hero complex for that.]

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WHAT OF IT

IT'S JUST THE FACE DICK IS MAKING

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