capeandcowllogs | C-c-combo breaker

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C-c-combo breaker

WHO: Bakura and Blue
WHERE: SOMEPLACE THAT IS NOT THE PARK GASP GASP SHOCK THUD
WHEN: Friday afternoon 4ish
WARNINGS: Possible emo and WHAT IS MY LIIIFE. And sparkles.
SUMMARY: Bakura is wandering the city trying not to be emo and spots Blue.
FORMAT: Para plx

The weather was slowly taken a turn for the worst, clouds of dark impending storms gathering to cast shadows that moved swiftly over the ground.

It was sort of a fitting metaphor, Bakura reflected as he walked, having no real aim or direction. Ben's dinner wasn't for a few more hours more and he was pretty sure Fakir and his friend were still out dancing, meaning the studio would still be empty until Ben returned from whatever he had been preparing for the dinner.

And he wasn't ready to go back home either. Not that Alastair would be home from work for a little while longer, but...

He gave a soft sigh. He was such a coward. It had taken him near two weeks to get up the nerve to say it, he wasn't going to let it take him two more weeks to get over the rejection. Not when war between natives and the HIVE and possibly the HIVE and the City were looming...

Hiruma was leaving, taking his suite with him. He wasn't sure what Alastair was doing... possibly going with him.

He would need to get up the nerve to apologize before then...

Specially since he knew he couldn't go with them. Not while his friends were still in the City. If something happened where he could have healed them and he hadn't been around...

He wouldn't lose anyone again. He wasn't going to run away from where his friends needed him. He'd protect them.

Even though he wanted to get away from this storm so very badly. Even with the strength Blue's words had given him.... he was petrified still. He'd zeroed his hit points when the sickness zombies had attacked. He'd lost his reason and his mind and burned every last point until he had collapsed. He had been lucky that, like last time, someone had been there to catch him...

But he couldn't always count on that. He had to learn to be his own strength, so he could be strong for others.

He gave a deep sigh, shaking his head.

Like he knew how to do that...

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There was a time when the long walks that separated place to place was a staggering challenge to Soldier Blue. He didn't remember them; those times were not his yet. The Soldier that walked today had all the strength of youth without the weight of three centuries and their troubles, but his yoke was not light by any stretch. He had feared the loss of his meaning here, a Soldier without Mu to guard, and then they came, and...nothing was as it had been. Things had gotten complicated. There was no way to walk away from it all, but no clear path to move forward.

Even so, he was Soldier. Whether he could see the way or not, it was his responsibility to move. The only moving he could do at the moment, though, was weaving carefully through congested streets. A distressing task at that--humans don't guard their thoughts. What need was there for that? Psychics were not native to this place. Their mental monologues and memories were a barrage of noise that Blue had to steer through just as he had to maneuver through the bodies that they belonged to. Joy, anger, anxiety, depression...Every emotion was a color all its own, an attention-grabbing array that defied the normal senses and made focus and peace rarities. Zeroing in on an idea, a person, a thought...it dimmed the rest of the noisy world and gave Blue the grasp to continue.

Familiarity was a shock of lightning in dark places--strangely accented by faraway thunder. His mind's eye followed it straight ahead to the fair-haired boy approaching. He knew this one. Bakura.

Blue stopped, drifting out of the way of passers-by and hugging close to the wall of a red brick building, watching, waiting. He would draw near, yet...Blue was uncertain of how to approach, himself. Friends, huh...

Bakura's thoughts continued their slow, mostly worried fill ramble until something interrupted, like a red flag to bring him out of his own mind and alert him to the outside world yet again. Something familiar, barely seen out of the corner of his eye.

He turned, blinking, scanning the crowd as he continued to walk, a bit slower now. Who was--

A smile bloomed as he spotted the familiar face and he gave a wave, weaving through the crowd to approch. "Blue-san!"

As the times before, troubled feelings scattered from a lighter optimism when Bakura spotted the Mu. It was something that seemed to happen by default, Blue observed, whenever an "old" friend drew near. That Soldier was well-loved.

He stood and waited, bowing his head upon Bakura's arrival in greeting. "Hello, Bakura."

On reflex, Bakura returned the bow, smiling warmly. "I haven't seem much of you lately, how have you been?"

It was almost small talk with how light the question was, but really, being out in public with so many people around with what had been on the TV lately...

It was best to stick with safe topics, at least to start with.

The public did color the conversation right away. Blue gave distracted glances at the passing of the more attention-grabbing minds, despite all efforts to focus on Bakura. There was always that chance that subdued, barely detectable Keith Anyan would emerge, knife glinting...

He frowned at the end of a too-long pause, blinking back to attention. What had he asked--? "A...Busy," he said lowly, not partial to lie nor draw concern to himself. It would be best to turn the focus onto the boy. "Are you well?"

Bakura blinked a moment. Blue seemed... distracted was probably the best word for it, though it seemed a little lacking. Expectant? No... that was wrong too.

"Un, I'm fine," he smiled in an almost automatic fashion. It was a half truth, really. In some respects he was, and really, with everything else going on, his own personal dramas weren't--

... yes, he was hiding again. He really did need to stop doing that. But for now...

"Are you busy right now? Did you want to get some tea or something to chat?" Somewhere off the street would be a far better choice to talk. And he did feel a bit bad. He had said he wanted to rebuilt his friendship with Blue-- with this Blue, and then hadn't seen him since.

The things unsaid were already acknowledged; such was the nature of the Mu. Blue did not press as he would have a lifetime ahead, however. Instead, he regarded Bakura's offer carefully, the notion of escaping the crowds all too enticing. Still, he had no money on his person, and though he didn't need to make assumptions that the boy would raise no complaints in covering it, Blue had no wish to exploit that.

"Somewhere quieter," he said as he hugged his arms, watching another clump of civilians cross the street.

Bakura gave a nod. That was it, then. "There's a cafe, not far from here, it's normally pretty quiet unless both owners are in," he smiled. And even then, he doubted it would be a noise that Blue would mind that much. Especially since it was the bickering of a old married couple, which was often more fond than scolding and almost aways about who was doing the pastry different this time, from what he could understand of the mix of Italian and French they always argued in. It was oddly relaxing in a lot of ways.

"And they make really good pastries too," he added.

A cream puff sounded like a good idea too. Aaaa, he was going to make himself fat one of these days!

The images that came to mind did seem appealing in their own, strange ways. Blue nodded his consent, straightening and letting his arms fall to his sides. "I will follow."

Bakura nodded. "It's this way," he indicated, starting to walk.

True to his word, the cafe was not far at all, less than a block. It was a fairly small place, pictures lining the walls behind the counters, with few small tables. The display cases were full of pastries and cookies and the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods mingled pleasantly in the air.

As Bakura suspected, there were only two occupied tables, a man with a news paper and coffee, and a pair of teenage girls giggling over their sweets.

The girl at the counter gave a smile at him before getting up and opening the door to the back and calling something in French to whomever was in the kitchen. He gave a smile, pretty sure he heard the words "Chou à la crème" in whatever she had said.

It was pretty obvious what he came in for.

He turned back to Blue with a smile. "Did you want something? I'll cover."

Blue followed in silence, his eyes large and attentive in the new environment, turning his head slowly left to right to take in the sights both visible and invisible. It was pleasant as Bakura's notions had suggested, he decided, bowing his head faintly when he was regarded. To the untrained mind, he allowed his appearance to change to something softer and disinteresting; a safer change from his stark, pale visage.

He blinked at the offer, looking as if he never anticipated it. "Ah...No, thank you."

Bakura gave a small nod, not really being too surprised. He couldn't really recall any time he'd see Blue eat more than two nibbles of something, after all.

After getting his cream puff he headed for a table in the corner, away from the other few customers and the counter. "A lot easier to talk when there aren't so many people," he smiled.

He watched the exchanges in an observent silence, the dynamics of the strange languages adding a unique kind of color to the atmosphere. Blue followed and took the seat opposite Bakura, hands folded and settled on his lap.

"Yes," he agreed softly. "Thank you. This is better."

Bakura smiled with a nod. "So everything's been fine with-- everything so far?" he began a bit awkwardly, not really quite knowing where to start. He knew there were quite a few things that had gone on, between new arrivals and the meeting Matsuka had mentioned, but that wasn't something you just asked out right. It was too rude and the subject was a rather sensitive one.

But he had been-- and still was worried about that whole situation and wanted to make sure Blue was doing all right.

The placid expression Blue wore was faintly shifted by the starts of a frown; he had little desire to speak to his own troubles. With someone with a disposition like Bakura's, too...He sent his stare across the room during the pause, but his eyes fixed back on the boy when he spoke, words chosen carefully and spoken slowly.

"There have been...difficulties." Declarations of outright war, as they were. "I do not wish to give you cause to be concerned, however. Such things can be managed, and they will be." He nodded a bit, certain. It was true enough--he had agreed to...try. Try and keep that bond of friendship. It was more for the boy's sake than his own, however, and Blue still spoke from a distance.

He paused, his lips pressed into a thin line for the silence before speaking again. "I would rather listen. If you wish to speak of yourself..."

Bakura gave a small nod. "If there's anything I can do to help..." he said softly before letting the subject be waved and moving on with a small, embarrassed ducking of his head. "Aaa... things..." He fidgeted a bit with his napkin. If it were the old Blue, he would have no trouble just opening up, but he was still unsure. He didn't want to impose on someone who just barely knew him, after all...

Especially with something that probably seemed to trivial, especially compared to all the fuss he had been making over it.

He fidgeted a bit more before speaking again. "Things have been...awkward," he finally finished with a small sheepish smile. "But not bad."

Their tones were warm, but the talk was chilled with vagueness and distance. Blue frowned faintly at the realization, casting his gaze down at the table that separated them. He was reminded of the great, almost blinding notion of hope and happiness when he had first been sighted...This was a disappointment, wasn't it? Not of Blue's own making, but the circumstances were what they were. They would not improve without effort in any case.

He looked back up, the frown vanished, glazed over in a placid, receptive look. "I will hope for you," he said. "That things will improve, and discomfort overcome." It was almost something said aloud to himself as much as the boy. "If I can be of aid in any case, you need only ask."

Bakura gave a small nod, looking at his napkin a moment more before tucking it into his shirt. Especially with the size of the cream puffs the bakery made, he didn't want to make a mess of himself.

He gave a faint smile. Blue's words hadn't changed any. Maybe...

He had said that he believed that the Blue here in the City now was the same as the one who had been before, just from another time. And he did beleive it, but it was...

He was making excuses again, wasn't he? Reasons to hide away. Older or younger, the one who remembered him or not, Blue was still Blue...

But he was so afraid of screwing things up...

... the same fear he had with Alastair.

He didn't want things to change, not things like his friends or his friendships. But things did change. People changed, grew closer or father away, new experiences shaping them in different ways...

And he if stayed stock still, so afraid of--

He gave a soft exhale. Let it go... Give the fear its place and move on...

Blue was Blue. And hiding away only caused more hurt in the long run... He had promised Matsuka he'd stop hiding so much. If he promised one friend... why shouldn't that promise extend to others he was friends with?

"Maybe..." he finally began, hesitating almost as soon as he started before pushing ahead. "Just talking about it... maybe it'll make it easier then I finally..." he trailed off.

Because if he didn't talk to Alastair now, before everyone started leaving...

The conflict that went unspoken played out in fast motion before Blue's mind-eye. Each hesitation was a spur to speak up, but the Mu said nothing, only watching and listening with a growing discontent. As Bakura's voice gave out to silence yet again, Blue spoke up, leaning forward with his earnest.

"Nothing changes without the initiative," he affirmed, fighting the boy's colors of hesitation. "I don't know what problem plagues you currently, nor will I pry, but...One's instincts are usually right. And to talk...it's a beginning." That's what this was, wasn't it?

Bakura nodded, again thinking of the complicated mess between him and Alastair. The longer he hid away from that mess, the longer it stayed tangled and that he was apart from his brother. "There's someone... someone who's very close to me. Like family, but not, since we're not even really from the same world because things that happened in his version of our world never happened in mine, so we never met until--"

He cut himself off, realizing he was rambling, and about things that really weren't important at all and probably wouldn't even make sense to Blue.

He was trying to deflect again.

"Sorry," he apologized before taking a breath and trying again. "Somehow, what I felt for him... started being more than just brotherly," he attempted to explain. "I didn't say anything for a long time, since I knew... well... it wasn't something I should be feeling, not if we were like brothers." More fidgeting as he looked down. "But it didn't go away... so I finally... with everyone's advice, I finally told him..." he trailed off a moment, unable to hold back the echoes of the anxiety and crushing despair he had felt that moment. "And I ran away. Because I couldn't deal with the rejection," he admitted softly, looking back down at his untouched cream puff. "And with everything that's happening, I know he'll be leaving soon to go somewhere safe... and I have to talk to him before he leaves."

There was a pause a moment before he added a very soft: "I can't lose him..."

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C-c-combo breaker

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